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Offline Ancient Gamer

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Worst movies ever
« on: September 03, 2006, 03:22:16 PM »
This thread is for whining about those movies that were so bad, you will remain traumatized for the rest of your life:

1. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. -What a piece of crap
2. Strictly Ballroom -Spare me.
3. Dungeons and Dragons -No comment.
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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2006, 05:20:35 PM »
I'm gonna have to agree with you on the Hitchhiker's Guide.  That was a real let down.
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Offline Scrasamax

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2006, 06:04:58 PM »
Queen of the d**ned
The ONLY reason this movie made even a ripple as if fell into the Hollywood toilet was that Aaliyah, who played the title role, died during the final stages of filming. The book, third in the series following Interview with a Vampire, was gothy, angsty, and about as vampire munchkin as you can get, and the movie was only worse. At least the novel had a strong sense of cohesion to it, and the characters had strong, somewhat believable motivations. The movie tends to be a phantasmagoria of vampire angst.

Mortal Kombat:Annihilation
While I cannot place the original Mortal Kombat in the list of greatest movies, it was entertaining and not all that bad. The sequel however tried to cover entirely too many characters and ended up more strung out that a junkie three days past his last fix.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
I read the books years ago, and loved them. Unfortunately the movie tries to hard, and rather than coming off as deadpan, its just dead. Anything that acted ended up being over the top rather than just absurd.

Battlefield Earth
Because flying a 1000 year old AV-8B Harrier is really just like breaking a horse, I swear. At least Tom Cruise and the Scientology Brouhaha drew attention away from this almost endless crap-fest. I read the book, and it was quite interesting, but the movie does it no justice.

Land of the Dead
I have the utmost respect for George Romero and the grand franxhise of the zombie movie. However, this movie lacked so many of the vital parts of the zombie movie, and the evolutionary thinking of the zombies was just ridiculous. I am sure there are plenty of people who will disagree on that point, but the movie sucked.


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Offline Maggot

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2006, 02:51:16 AM »
Spanglish

Almost two hours of never-ending melo-drama cloying enough to make you gag. I've never seen Adam Sandler at his least likable. And his co-star Vega, or whatever her name is, was just plain annoying.
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Offline Dozus

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2006, 04:29:16 PM »
Grilled

A comedy about door-to-door meat salesmen starring Ray Romano and Kevin James.  How could you screw it up?  They managed to.  The plot is stupid, the writing is half-assed and, in an attempt to be noir and cutting-edge, they forget to be funny.  Really disappointing.
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Offline Ria Hawk

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2006, 12:49:23 AM »
Scream and Scream Again It tries hard to be a horror movie, but the plot was so badly written and had so many holes that even Vincent Price, Christopher Lee, AND Peter Lorre couldn't save it.

The Nun Interesting concept, but the main character is every single bad horror movie heroine rolled into one.  You spend the entire movie hoping she dies.  The only two characters that I had any empathy for at all had far too little screen time, and it's possible to pinpoint the exact moment when the people who made it realized the plot sucked.
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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2006, 02:34:45 PM »
Dobermann
As a european I watch american movies, chinese movies, french movies, english movies, australian and new zealand movies, german movies, h*** I even watch norwegian movies. So when I rented the movie Dobermann, with my two favourite european actors Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci, I was hoping for some fun.

Not so. A weak and unrealistic story and some utterly uncharismatic personalities made this entire action-fest a flop of dimensions. It might just be me getting old, but watching 40 year olds dress up as teenagers and killing cops in the most grotesque ways just does not do it for me anymore.

I want a plot.
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Offline MoonHunter

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2007, 11:34:55 PM »
We are on the movie theme.  This should probably be moved to the media section, but oh well. 
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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2007, 01:54:57 AM »
Manos, The Hands of Fate  Oh gods.  Run away from this movie.  Not even seeing it on Mystery Science Theatre 3000 could make it bearable.  Only one character had any actual characterization, and he was just creepy.  I've seen rocking chairs that were less wooden than the rest of the cast.  The villian wasn't menacing, and I just wanted the "heroes" to die.  There was absolutely no resolution (or real plot, for that matter), and there is the distinct feeling that the entire budget was spent on two not terribly impressive effects.  The cinematographer was either blind or dead.  Oh, and there's a badly-choreographed fifteen minute (at least) catfight between several women that seems like a very pathetic attempt at eroticism, even for the fifties.
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Offline MoonHunter

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Re: Worst movies ever
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2007, 12:26:04 AM »
She Wins.  You can't beat that.  Though, Plan 9 from Outer Space comes close.
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