Free magic spells

[wizard_wannabe]

Please anyone have any magic love spells, or know a site that has FREE magic spells that worked for you, I really need them, thank you. 

[CaptainPenguin]

*laughs uncontrollably*

[Scrasamax]

It'll cost you

[Strolen]

You would have better luck going to the old lady who lives on the end of the street in that large, old mansion that has all the dead trees in the yard.

Go to the back, there is a single tombstone there, and do a charcoal rubbing of it. Take that, fold it three times, cut the bottom right corner off and the words that remain when you unfold it are the key to getting inside the house.

Once inside you must spin three times, go up the right flight of stairs, trace a pentagram on the wall and put your palm in the middle. Then yell the following three times:

Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

At that point she will appear to you and give you the incantations of any spell you wish.

The process must be repeated for each spell you wish to learn.

Oh, you might have to forfeit your Soul but since it isn't monetary most people still consider it as "free."

[Strolen]

Oh, don't remove your hand from the pentagram until she leaves. Pretty important.

[Sydney Cain]

Leave him alone! I make them myself ya know. First, I get alot, and I do mean alot, of alcohol. Then I go to what I call a party (no not a D&D dress up party), and slip the doorman a well earned $50. After I make it in, I set my sights on one girl and let her drink all the beer I bought. Then I slip her a $50, and she'll love ya for as long as shes awake. Or until she pukes. Whichever comes first. Well, I guess we'll never see this guy again huh?

[Scrasamax]

I feel that something productive should come from this post, after I've gotten in my snipe on the matter and offer a hand to Strolen for his spellcraft skill.

I think it brings up the idea that in a realistic fantasy setting, one that draws on our RL world without bogging down into soap operas and techno-magic. People are always looking for *ahem* love.

I would break this down into three main avenues of interest.

1. Genuine love, looking for that special someone. This would be the realm of divination magics, or joint conjuration, possibly even ressurection of lost loves. The modern analog being the match site, or dating company.

2. Genuine Lust, or the booty call. sometimes a prostitute isnt quite right, or inconvenient. Or perhaps it is a way to create a summon prostitute spell, or a spell-like item to convey a would be john to the brothel, outside of illegal grounds. Potions that foster love would fall into this area, as would most charisma enhancing items.

3. Better Endowments - bigger is better, for the ladies and for the fellows. The list of false potions, oils, and magical devices should be a scoll in it's own. Spam is full of this sort of offer.

I'm going to copy and paste most of this submission into a scroll/codex.

[Ancient Gamer]

Pssst: Wizard wannabe...

Send me cold, hard cash and I will teach you how to love spelling

[wizard_wannabe]

Na I haven't got the money!

[Sydney Cain]

*Snickers* You are more brave then I thought. Really, golf clap. Keep posting this stuff, I love it. 

[Strolen]

Na I haven't got the money!

Willing to do:

Midnight Grave Digging
Endangered Species Hunting
Donating and/or Finding various Internal Organs
Dumpster Diving for Liposuction Bags

If any of these are doable, there is probably a way around the money issue.

[Marnok]

True power can be yours!

http://www.academyofsorcery.com/

I know I shouldn't post links to sites like that especially not as my first post. I just thought that, as a scam, it's a well presented one! And you can hardly sue them if it don't work... "Please Mr Lawyer, my magic spells don't work, can you help me get my money back?"

[Strolen]

That is one of the most awesome "Get Spells Quick" schemes I have EVAR SEEN!

"My Entire Private Stash of 712 Ultra-Rare Magic Guides"

I can't decide though, should I do Arcane Mastery, be an Occult Visionist, or a Sorcery Apprentice.

[Pariah]

Not to get off topic here but 712 is a very interesting number because it is the product of 8 and 89.  Both of these are interesting numbers because on is = to the only even prime number cubed, cubed represening the amount of dimensions visible to most humanoid.  And 89 being interesting because it is the last two digits of the year that I was born in.

So, one can only assume that he's been using his spells to track my 3 dimensional movements since the year I was born.  Incontrovertible proof that this magic he's selling does indeed work.

[Strolen]

Well, there you have it. I bought one of each and can't wait to start casting!!!

[Roack]

I have tons of spells in the clutter my immortal soul has collected over the years, I'd be glad to cast one for you, but it costs a few souls a pop.