Favorite Game Quotes

[Ria Hawk]

"Black-eye?  That's a strange name.  Do you get punched in the face a lot?"
"No, I've gotten really good at dodging.  Now I do the face-punching."
 - Briella the druid and Black-eye, Master of the Tiny Fist

[Grey]

My favorite quote happened just recently. The back story here is that our protagonist, Hrothgar the Barbarian, had managed to get himself into the Abyss. Not only that, but after an inordinate amount of layer-jumping he wound up in the middle of a Blood war battlefield (Demons vs Devils on an epic scale). Seeing a huge Devil-run war machine working its way over, he chose to target that, as it was the most impressive.
After a bloody fight to the base of the engine, he started to climb. Unknown to him, the way this machine worked is that the entire thing is morphic metal controlled by the Devil on top. Just as Hrothgar nears the top, after avoiding all manner of horrible ends, the controller notices him and causes the metal to flow around his hands and feet.
Unable to move, our intelligence 6 hero thinks as best he can, and remembers that he has a pet. This pet happens to be a bear that he keeps in his backpack of holding.
Once called, the large cave bear erupts from the backpack, charges the remaining distance to the controller and, with me rolling, scored three critical hits in a row.
From the top of the uncontrolled device, the now free Hrothgar proclaims:

"Strike me down, and my BEAR will become more powerful than you can POSSIBLY IMAGINE!"

And then the uncontrolled machine, fuelled by fear and pain, went berserk and started leveling everything.

[Ancient Gamer]

After freeing the serpentine God-Wyrm imprisoned within the Godstone (last night's session):
"Well... We saw it coming... We knew what we did, yet it felt so right to do so. We're cold blooded assassins dammit!"

*a minute's pause*

"We shouldn't have beheaded that pretty elf maiden and spilled her blood on the Godstone, should we?"

At least I have ample plot options from now on (they fled from the wyrm)

[Drackler]

"Can the cat hold his liquor?"
-Aldous Chalbringer, said of a cat-guy character, in a bar.

[Ria Hawk]

This came up while discussing the ubiquitous Crazy Old Man NPC.

"Maybe he's faking the crazy."
"Well, that's the point.  Spends all day talking to a shoe and making duck noises, then goes and plots to take over the world.  Perfect cover."

[Drackler]

 The quote is not, in itself, very funny, but put in context...

 The party was exploring a long forgotten (at least by the good guys) temple. They encountered a pit in the passageway and decided to jump over it. All went well until the dwarven warrior's turn. He ran and tried to leap across, but failed and fell down the pit. There he was, laying at the bottom of the pit, heavily injured and dying. The others decided something must be done, so they lowered the cleric down on a rope. After healing the dwarf (he was still unconsious, but no longer losing blood), he proceeded to search the bodies. He discovered, amongst other things, a small bottle closed with a cork and containing a red substance. That's when he uttered:

"I open the bottle".

The bottle contained alchemist's fire, an interestng alchemical (really? Wow...) liquidy substance that tends to explode when it touches air. It did so this time. The dwarf began dying once again because of his burns, and the cleric was also burned.

[MoonHunter]

"If we were to plot the distance between where you are right now and the nearest good idea, it would describe a line too big to fit inside the universe."

Math Geeks insult each other.

[Murometz]

Kyrian (Echo), speaking to a demon in AuR....

"That's right, it's me you want, you piece of hellish excrement! From what imp's bottom did you emerge, and what did he have to devour to create something as disgusting yet useless? Ha!"

[Murometz]

Guys, we REALLY SHOULD STOP AND REST.  Several of us are injured, We're out of spells (except a few cantrips) and Tristan looks like 5 miles of bad road.  Let's finish this cave at full hp and spells!

Please!  I've been in two near TPKs in the last couple of years and both started out looking like this.

~Wulfhere

[Chaosmark]

"If we encounter Mind Worms, I'm leaving."
~Me to our DM a few sessions ago

[Strolen]

Murometz: This goes without saying, but once again, I have no idea what you are talking about.

[MoonHunter]

"Did you ever just wanna respawn?"   

my young (video) gamer child upon reaching a really badly designed level about to be mobbed.

[MoonHunter]

Found on an RPG.Net sig line for Ravenswing

The Gaming One -
"Call me old-fashioned, but after you're dead, I don't think you should be entitled to a Dodge any more." - my wife

The Internet Ones
"Write what you know, and differentiate between what you know and what you think. Don't try to pass off personal speculation as the truth. Don't hand out the chips on your shoulder and call them facts." - John Mangrum

It isn't that I don't understand what you're saying. It's that I don't AGREE with what you're saying. The distinction can't be all THAT difficult to comprehend, surely?

ANSWER: You have an honest, open discussion of your grievances, like grownups do, stating what's wrong in a calm, civil fashion, and see if you can work out a mutually acceptable solution. QUESTION: What's the magic bullet answer that if everyone memorized would eliminate a full tenth of Open's threads?
 

[Strolen]

Scrasamax:

Tonight on TLC: Titans and Tiaras, Dragon Hoard Wars, My Big Fat Goblin Wedding, and Are You Smarter than a 5th Level City Guardsman?

[MoonHunter]

Some more SIG LINES I LIKE>

Evil isn't grand and powerful and liberating; evil is weak and afraid. ~ Old Geezer@RPG.NET

Related:  "Satan appears only a few times in canon proper, falls into a pit, and lives on forever in the fanfic because some people think he's all badass and dangerous. He's Boba Fett." - Smoot@PRG.NET

You don't fix humanity like it's a broken leg. You fix it like you brush your teeth every night, cleaning out the icky stuff over and over again.

But it always, always grows back. ~ SteveD@RPG.NET

As in so many things, the trick is to know what the hell you are doing, and why. ~ Princess Stacey@RPG.NET

And my favorite... perhaps of all time......

This is a forum board. We talk about things here. We ask questions, we give answers, we ramble, we muse, we discuss. Anything and everything you post is subject to the same process as everyone else's posts. You felt it acceptable to post your views. Thereby, it is acceptable for us to post our views about your views (within the rules of the site). –Sunrunner@rpg.net

[MysticMoon]

"I strap the trash can to my head. If a green slime drops in it, I'm putting the lid on." - Hivar Grapopulos (aka Forganthus)

[Murometz]

This is the last time we use sheep as lock-picks. -Aerex Matare (aka Dozus)

[Chaosmark]

"Rune. Magic words. Maul. Weasel. Miss. Next!"
--My fourth turn (in a row) last session with unsuccessful to-hit rolls

[Murometz]

His quarry was fleeing. Kyrian would have none of that. Right after his strike, he surged past the ogres, towards Borgradoc. "Let me turn you red, Werepig of Feculent Hue!"- Echomirage