Extraneous Voices of Picayune > Citadel Tavern

Favorite Game Quotes

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Kassil:
From in game, that is. My own, obviously, is in my .sig...

...The story behind it is convulted, by suffice that the players had managed to anger the God of Violent Death, War, Cruelty, and Pain. After managing to heroically drive the god off the mortal plane to his own realm once again, the players notice that he left his titanic two-handed bastard sword made of blacksteel and etched with blood-red runes embedded in the middle of the battlefield...

...So one player goes and announces that he's going to grab it. And gets fried by the god's raw anger, funnelled through the sword via a divine connection.

Needless to say, the player in question is more cautious about seizing random battlefield items left behind by powerful enemies.

ephemeralstability:
"Now I'm inside the dragon I'm going to start hacking at the stomach walls."

The player succeeded in killing the dragon, but died shortly afterwards of oxygen deprivation.

Ria Hawk:
"Oh... you're one of those..."
One of the members in a party I'm currently with is insane, and quite obviously so.  THis is because he is of a magical discipline that, while powerful, inevitably drives it's practitioners mad.  This is, of course, common knowledge.  So any NPC that meets this character eventually say this.

CaptainPenguin:
This comment needs some setting up. In my game, there is a rather random, very comical event that happens occasionally called the Dwarf Conspiracy. The dwarves of the Dwarf Conspiracy are trying to make five of every single being in the multiverse because they believe that the evil Other Ones are going to wipe it clean of all life. They have a magical cavern fortress that they think will protect them from the Other Ones.Unfortunately, the Dwarf Conspirators are ridiculously stupid and inept and always get it wrong. One of my player's characters got stump-drunk and was picked up by the Dwarf Conspirators and made to mate with a sandwich.

"You wake up with a splitting head-ache, water dripping in your face. You are in a dark cave, the only light coming from a tunnel in the wall. There's a smashed sandwich in front of you. You don't remember anything from the night before after your eleventh drink."
"I want to grab the sandwich and eat."
"No you don't."
"Yes I do."
"Allright, you eat the sandwich, but there's some mighty strange mayonnaise on it."

ephemeralstability:
Ew.

That kind of puts a yucky twist on the next one I was going to post which is a maxim my players now have when encountering something new, exciting or unusual. Bear in mind, this is ENTIRELY INNOCENT!

"Don't poke it!"

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