Author Topic: Favourite TV show quotes  (Read 18303 times)

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Offline Pengilly

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« on: April 24, 2005, 12:47:18 AM »
I was looking around and realized that there isn't a thread dedicated to favorite TV show quotes, or maybe I just missed it. In any case, here's some, 'cuz I am really bored.

"Woah! Hey! It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"-Captain Murphy Sea Lab 2021

"Bit my shiny metal ass!"-Bender Futurama

Peter: 'Oh my god, Brain, there's a message in my Alphabits! It says 'Ooooo.'
Brian: 'Peter, those are Cheerios.'
-Family Guy

Stewie: 'Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall KILL you.'
Family Guy

Stewie" 'You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence...gotta get me some of that."
Family Guy
Bob Saget!

Offline Kinslayer

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« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2005, 01:00:54 AM »
"Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?"
----Stewie, Family Guy

No, wait... that was Rex Harrison in My Fair Lady
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Offline Maggot

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« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2005, 03:16:06 AM »
''Guess what? You don't have an inferiority complex. You're just inferior.''-Angelus,Angel.

 '' We prefer the term genetically empowered.'' - Aleck the mutant,Dark Angel

  ''I may be dirt,but you're the one who keeps rolling in it,Slayer.''-Spike,Buffy the Vampire Slayer

  ''We're super villains,you moron!''-Warren Mears,Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
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Offline Nosredna

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« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2005, 05:36:48 AM »
I take it you like Buffy/Angel...

Offline Maggot

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« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2005, 06:52:35 AM »
I'm a rabid fan.  :wink:
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Offline MoonHunter

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« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2005, 12:00:03 PM »
Small note: Buffy is very quotable, as the dialog is quite catchy

Star Trek quotes rock

- That's the first time I've heard a malfunction threaten us...
Sulu about the Redjac-possessed computer, "Wolf in the Fold."  Obviously these people no longer have a window's operating system

- Evaluation, Mr. Spock?
- Fascinating.
Kirk and Spock.

- Heading, sir?
- Out there... thataway.
Helmsman and Kirk.

- Random chance seems to have operated in our favour.
- In plain, non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.
- I believe I said that, Doctor.
Spock and McCoy, "The Doomsday Machine."

- Do you have a point, Spock?
- Yes, always.
McCoy and Spock, "The Enemy Within."

- I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
- Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
Kirk and Spock, "The Devil in the Dark."

- Spock, remind me to tell you that I'm sick and tired of your logic!
- That is a most illogical attitude.
McCoy and Spock, "The Galileo Seven."

- I prefer the concrete. The graspable. The proveable.
- You'd make a splendid computer, Mr Spock!
- That is very kind of you, Captain.
Spock and Kirk, "The Return of the Archons."

- We'll make a human out of you yet!
- I hope not.
Kirk and Spock, "Patterns of Force."

- Please, Spock, do me a favour ... and don't say it's 'fascinating' !
- No, but it is... interesting.
McCoy and Spock, "The Ultimate Computer."

- Do you want me to try my theory out on your head?
Captain Christopher Pike to a Talosian, guessing that the seemingly inoperative phasers are actually working, "The Cage."

- I'll protect you, fair maiden!
- Sorry, neither.
Sulu and Uhura, "The Naked Time."

- Gentlemen, surely you're not going to take the word of a soulless mechanichal device over that of a flesh and blood man?
The not so trustworthy Harry Mudd, protesting when a lie detector claims his answer is incorrect, "Mudd's Women."

- I will appear as charachter witness at your trial... if you think that'll help.
- It'll throw away the key!
Kirk and Harry Mudd, "Mudd's Women."

- Raising my voice back there doesn't mean I was scared and couldn't do my job, just that I happen to have a human thing called and adrenaline gland.
- That sounds very inconvenient, however; have you considered having it removed?
Bailey and Spock, "The Corbomite Maneouver."

- I realise that command does have its fascinations, even under circumstances such as these, but I neither enjoy the idea of command, nor am I frightened of it; it simply exists. And I will do whatever logically needs to be done.
Spock to McCoy, "The Galileo Seven."

- It's more rational to sacrifice one life than six, Doctor.
- I'm not talking about rationality!
- You'd might be wise to start.
Spock and McCoy, "The Galileo Seven."

- Does your logic find this 'fascinating', Mr Spock?
- 'Fascinating' is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I should think 'interesting' would suffice.
McCoy and Spock about Trelane's food, "The Squire of Gothos."

- Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaserbank.
Scotty, "A Taste of Armageddon"

- That thing is virtually made out of stone!
- Help it. Treat it!
- I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer!
McCoy and Kirk about the Horta, "The Devil in the Dark."

- What's this!?
- It's called 'blood' .
Kirk and McCoy when the captain comes injured to Sickbay, "Mirror, Mirror."

- I'm a doctor, not an engineer!
- Now you're an engineer.
McCoy and Scott, "Mirror, Mirror."

- Kirk, this place is swarming with Klingons!
- I was unaware, Mr Baris, that twelve Klingons constitute a swarm!
A Federation official and Kirk, "The Trouble With Tribbles."

- Tellerites do not argue for reasons. They simply argue.
Sarek, "Journey To Babel."

- I thought you guys had a law: No interference!
- Who’s interfering? We’re taking over!
An Iotian gangster and Kirk, "A Piece of the Action."

- The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.
Spock to Kirk.

- Time is a luxury you don't have!
Khan to Kirk.

- She's all yours, sir. All systems automated and ready. A chimpanzee and two trainees could run her!
- Thank you, Mr. Scott, I'll try not to take that personally.
Scotty and Kirk.

- I do not deserve to live!
- Fine, then I'll kill you later!
A Klingon and Kirk.

- Are you sure you won't change your mind?
- Is there something wrong with the one I have?
Gillian Taylor and Spock.
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Offline Alec_Shadowkin

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« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2005, 03:16:19 PM »
Family Guy is da gawd-bomb:

Pope - No one embarrasses the Pope and gets away with it [Looks up at the sky], SMITE THEM!
(waits for a few seconds)
Pope - He's cooking up a something good!

Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy(spanish): Que?

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president?
Peter: Maybe it's because I can recite all 50 states in a quarter of a second - RARF!
Lois: Peter, that was just a loud yelping noise.

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.

Lois: Come on Stewie, you know you can't leave the table until you finish your vegetables.
Stewie: Well, then I shall sit here until one of us expires, and you've got a good forty years on me, woman.
Lois: Sweetie, it's broccoli, it's good for you. Now open up for the airplane ...
Stewie: Never! d**n the broccoli, d**n you, and d**n the Wright brothers.

Peter: Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for that matter, what ever happend to K. Ballard? You know, if you said mallard and you had a cold, it would sound like ballard.
Brian: Do you listen to yourself when you talk?
Peter: I drift in and out.

Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.

Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)
Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation. God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity. God you're so funny!

Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up."

Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

Peter: Have they ever shown him doing somebody in and then feeding on him?
Brian: You're asking if they've ever done a Sesame Street in which the Count kills somebody and then sucks their blood for sustenance.
Peter: Yeah.
Brian: No, they've never done that.

Peter: Lois, um, go get the medical dictionary and look up "fork" and "lung."
Lois: Why?
Peter: Time is a factor, Lois.

Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food.

[watching Cricket on British TV]
Peter: What the hell is he talking about?
Englishman: Oh, it's Cricket. Marvelous game, really. You see, the bowler hurls the ball toward the batter who tries to play away a fine leg. He endeavors to score by dashing between the creases, provided the wicket keeper hasn't whipped his bails off, of course.
Peter: Anybody get that?
Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that "fag" means "cigarette."
Peter: Well, someone tell this "cigarette" to shut up.
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Offline Pengilly

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« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2005, 04:54:34 PM »
Zapp Brannigan:'So, trapped on a ship with me. What say you and I knock some very sensual boots?'
Bob Saget!

Offline Maggot

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« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2005, 08:51:59 AM »
''I'm not a whore,just a girl who likes to have fun...'''-Eric Foreman's sister from That 70's Show.
“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

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Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2005, 09:58:16 PM »
I love That 70s Show!
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline Maggot

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« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2005, 11:26:54 PM »
Yeah,it's awesome!  :)
“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

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Offline Kinslayer

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« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2005, 03:03:46 AM »
Simon: (to paralyzed Jayne) How much did they offer you to sell out me and River on Ariel?
Jayne: That's crazy talk.
Simon: Then let's talk crazy. How much?
Jayne: Anybody there? (River peeks in). Anybody else?
Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you'll be under my knife...again...often, so I want you to understand one thing very clearly. No matter what you do or say or plot. No matter how you come down on us, I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe. 'Cause I'm your medic. And however little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies, and more than enough of both. Now, we could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. I don't care what you've done, I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same...cause I don't see this working any other way.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.

From Firefly
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Offline Andimia

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« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2005, 04:51:58 AM »
AH d**n I LOVE FIREFLY!! *points to her sig* I watched the serenity trailer 500 times since it came out. Joss Whedon shows are so quotable  :lol:

"don't you ever stand for that sort of thing, is someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back." -Mal

"if you take sexual advantage of her you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level that is reserved for child molestors and people who talk at the theater." -Shepard Book

"Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain that I go get and beat you with untill you know whose in ruttin' command here. -Jayne

::Jayne opens Simon's journal and in a mocking voice::
"Dear diary, today I was pampas and my sister was crazy, then we got kidnapped by hillfolk, never to be seen again."

Kaylee: Is that him?
Mal: no, that's a buffet table
Kaylee: how can we be sure unless we question it
Mal: just don't make yourself sick...

I got more firefly quotes, these are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. And I recommend that everybody see Serenity, in theaters September 30th   :lol:

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Offline Kinslayer

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« Reply #13 on: April 30, 2005, 12:05:00 AM »
Quote from: "Andimia"
And I recommend that everybody see Serenity, in theaters September 30th
Until they reschedule the release date again...
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Offline Pengilly

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« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2005, 09:10:00 PM »
"Forgive me father, I did an original sin, I poked a badger with a spoon"

"Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong... Like I like my women: Hot and strong, with James Jorden in them"

"I like my women like I like my coffee: in a plastic cup."

"I like my women like I like my coffee: covered in bees!"

"Cake or death?"
"Uh, cake please"
"Well, we're out of cake!"
"So... my choice is 'Or death'? I’ll have the chicken then, please."

-all from Eddie Izzard "Dressed to Kill"
Bob Saget!

Offline Maggot

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« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2005, 11:09:55 PM »
''She dumped ya,didn't she?''

 ''It was mutual. We both hated me. Only she had the courage to leave.''-The Drew Carrey Show
“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

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Offline MoonHunter

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« Reply #16 on: June 09, 2005, 09:57:41 AM »
- I don't se no points on your ears, boy, but you sound like a Vulcan!
- No, sir. I am an android.
- Almost as bad...
Admiral McCoy and Data, "Encounter at Farpoint."

- Things are only impossible until they are not!
Picard to Data, "When the Bough Breaks."

- Ugly bags of mostly water.
A chrystalline life-form about humans, "Home Soil."

- No goodbyes, just good memories.
Tasha Yar to the bridge crew at her memorial service, "Skin of Evil."
(Submitted by Alyson Lowrie, thanks!)

- Yes, absolutely, I do indeed concur, wholeheartedly!
Riker, giving his approval to abort autodestruct, "Where Silence Has Lease."

- We have a problem.
- I find myself in complete agreement with that assessment, sir.
Picard and Data, "The Measure of a Man."

- Fate protects fools, little children and ships called Enterprise.
Riker about luck, "Contagion".

- If it should become necessary to fight, could you arrange to find some rocks to throw at them?
Riker, frustrated over multiple system failures, "Contagion."

- Microbrain! Growl for me, let me know you still care!
Q to Worf, "Q Who."

- And I told him what I thought of him, his pals, his planet and I possibly made some passing reference to his questionable parentage.
Picard rehashing a fight in his youth, "Samaritan Snare."

- I don't bite. No, that's wrong. I do bite.
K’Ehelyr to Worf, "The Emissary."

- The law is paramount!
The Sheliak, "The Ensigns of Command."

- You really don't understand human behaviour, do you?
- That is something of an understatement.
Ard'rian McKenzie and Data, "The Ensigns of Command."

- He want the impossible!
- That's the short definition of 'captain'.
Wesley and LaForge, "The Ensigns of Command."

- What do you think, Mr Worf?
- Good tea. Nice house.
Rishon Uxbridge and Worf making smalltalk, "The Survivors."
(Submitted by David Elson, thanks!)

- I felt weak. I couldn't stand. The life was oozing out of my body. I lost consciousness.¨
- You fell asleep!
Q and Picard, "Déjà Q."

- It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent!
Q, "Déjà Q."

- Oh, you're so stolid. You weren't like that before the beard.
Q to Riker, "Déjà Q."

- Seems human enough to me!
Guinan after stabbing Q with a fork, "Déjà Q."

- What do I have to do to convince you [I am human]?
- Die!
- Very clever, Worf. Eaten any good books lately?
Q and Worf, "Déjà Q."

- I'm immortal again! I'm omnipotent again!
- Swell.
Q and Riker, "Déjà Q."

- Let's make sure history never forgets the name, Enterprise!
Alternate Picard to his crew, just before going into battle with the Klingons, "Yesterday's Enterprise."
(Submitted by Alyson Lowrie, thanks!)

- He is biting that female!
Lal, seeing a couple kiss, "The Offspring."

- Your resistance is hopeless... Number One.
Locutus to Riker, "The Best of Both Worlds."

- We will proceed to Earth, and if you attempt to intervene, we will destroy you.
- Then take your best shot, Locutus, 'cause we are about to 'intervene'!
Locutus and Riker, "The Best of Both Worlds II."

- If there's nothing wrong with me, there must be something wrong with the Universe...
Crusher, "Remember Me."

- What does it mean? Arror... arrogant son of a b-"
- We'll talk about that later!
René and Picard, "Family."

- You're incapable of that level of incompetence, Mr LaForge!
Riker when the faux LaForge tells him that he, after thirty hours, still is running a diagnostic that usually takes four hours to complete, "Future Imperfect."

- Shut up! As in, 'Close your mouth and stop talking'!
Riker to Admiral Picard, "Future Imperfect."

- Is this how you treat all your personnel problems?
- You'd be surprised how far a hug goes with Geordi ...or Worf.
Troi and Riker, "The Loss."
(Submitted by Rebecca, thanks!)

- You must think I've gone mad.
- The thought had occurred.
The Cardassian-hunting Captain Benjamin Maxwell and Picard, "The Wounded."

- There are some words I've known since I was a schoolboy. 'With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censored, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied chains us all, irrevocably.' Those words were uttered by Judge Aaron Satie, as a wisdom and warning. The first time any man's freedom is trodden on, we're all damaged.
Picard during his hearing, "The Drumhead."

- She doesn't belong here! She doesn't even belong in the uniform, as far as I'm concerned.
- Really?
- Really!
- Sounds like someone I'd like to know.
LaForge and Guinan about Ensign Ro, "Ensign Ro."

- The advocate will refrain from making her opponent disappear.
Data to Ardra, "Devil's Due."

- Nice legs... for a human.
Worf about Vash, "Qpid."
(Submitted by Rebecca, thanks!)

- Sir, I protest! I am not a merry man!
A disgruntled Worf to Picard in Sherwood Forest, "Qpid."
(Submitted by David Elson, thanks!)

- Your neutrinos are drifting.
Robin Lefler to Wesley when he won't stop shaking her hand, "The Game."
(Submitted by Melissa Smith, thanks!)

- I never met a chocolate I didn't like.
Troi to Riker, "The Game."

- What happened to your hair?
Boothby to Picard, "The First Duty."

- You're not quite... human, are you?
- No, sir, I am an android. Lieutenant Commander Data.
- Synthetic scotch... synthetic commanders.
A disgruntled Scott, "Relics."

- What is it?
- It is... it is... it is green.
Scott and Data trying to classify a beverage, "Relics."

- N-C-C 1-7-0-1. No bloody A, B, C or D!
Scotty, specifying what Enterprise bridge he wants to see on the Holodeck, "Relics."

- Geordi, I've spent my whole life tryin' to figure out crazy ways of doin' things. I'm tellin' ya - as one engineer to another - I can do this!
Scotty to LaForge, "Relics."

- Just because something's old, doesn't mean you throw it away.
Scotty to LaForge on the bridge of the Jenolen, "Relics."
(Submitted by Alyson Lowrie, thanks!)

- I've spent 30 years of my life aboard starships, I'm not going to sit behind a desk Now!"
- You could go back to the Academy. Take another degree, brush up on your Latin.
- And be Wesley Crusher's room-mate?
The twelve-year-old Picard and Troi, "Rascals."

- ...and get that fish out of my ready room!
Captain Edward Jellico, "Chain of Command I."

- Ensign Picard and Ensign Batanides... sounds weird, doesn't it?
- It takes some... getting used to.
Marta Batanides and Picard, "Tapestry."

- I refuse to believe that the afterlife is run by you! The Universe is not so badly designed.
Picard to Q, "Tapestry."

- You cheated, Picard? I'm impressed!
Q to Picard, "Tapestry."

- I'm not here to help you; I'm here to stop you from making a serious mistake.
- You sound like my mother...
- Cheating the Nausicaans could have serious consequences for all of us. It's a risk we can't afford to take.
- You are my mother!
"Ensign" Picard and Ensign Corey Zweller, "Tapestry."

- Would you like to talk about what's bothering you or would you like to break some more furniture?
Troi to Worf after he breaks a table, "Birthright, Part 1."
(Submitted by Rebecca, thanks!)

- I can't relieve my entire senior staff! Mr Worf beat you to it.
Picard to LaForge, "Starship Mine."

- Don't be afraid of your darker side, have fun with it.
Troi to Riker, "Frame of Mind."

- If you met a double of yourself, would you have difficulty interacting with it?
- I think so.
- Why?
- I am not easy to get along with.
Data and Worf, "Second Chances."

- Mr Worf, acknowledge the signal from New Berlin and transmit another copy of Starfleet Ship Recognition Protocol. And tell them to read it, this time!
Picard about a colony thought to be under attack, "Descent, Part I."

- He's all right; he's only stunned.
- I must admit, I am experiencing a similar sensation.
Troi and Data about Riker when the Enterprise has been bordered by mercenaries led by Picard, "Gambit II."

- Mmm. Delicious...
- What kind of cake is that?
- It is a cellular peptide cake... with mint frosting.
Data and Worf, "Phantasms."
Submitted by Ryan S. Eanes, thanks!

- Captain, we're receiving two hundred eighty-five thousand hails!
Wesley to Riker in an alternate universe slowly being filled by alternate Enterprises, "Parallels."

- I know Klingons like to be alone on their birthdays. You probably want to meditate or hit yourself with a pain-stick or something.
Troi, explaining to Worf why she talked Riker out of giving him a surprise party, "Parallels."

- Will! I bet you never thought you'd see me again.
- It's good to see you... sir.
- Yeah, sure it is; you look like you're about to faint!
Riker's former CO Adm. Eric Pressman and Riker, "The Pegasus."

- I am your worst nightmare!
Riker to Geordi after winning a round of Poker, "Lower Decks."

- I've got to get some sleep, so I can be sharp tomorrow.
- Why? So you can get promoted, have more responsibility and have to go to sleep even earlier?
Ensign Lavelle and Ben the Waitor, "Lower Decks."

- Be sure to dress warm on those other planes of existence!
Crusher to Wesley, "Journey's End."

- Like it or not, I'm your father. I don't know what that means, though it means something. There is some... connection. One thing is clear: you'll never look at your hairline again in the same way.
Picard to his believed-to-be son, "Bloodlines."

- Worf, we were walking barefoot on the beach, with balalaika music in the air, an ocean breeze washing over us, stars in the sky, a full moon rising... and the most you can say is 'stimulating' ?!
- It was... very stimulating.
Troi and Worf, "All Good Things..."

- How little do you mortals understand time. Must you be so linear, Jean-Luc?
Q to Picard, "All Good Things..."
(Submitted by Commander Pokemon, thanks!)

- It appears we will be required to... ignite the midnight petroleum, sir.
Data of the past, not quite getting "burn the midnight oil" right, "All Good Things..."

- It's time to put an end to your trek through the stars!
Q to Picard, "All Good Things..."

- 'The anomaly, my ship, my crew', I suppose you're worried about your fish, too!
Q to Picard, "All Good Things..."
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"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
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« Reply #17 on: June 23, 2005, 07:19:59 PM »
Bob Saget!

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Firefly quotes!!!
« Reply #18 on: June 23, 2005, 08:17:08 PM »
Zoe -- Sir, I believe that you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal -- I don't believe there's a power in the 'verse that can keep Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and throw her in the cargo hold for a month.
Kaylee -- I love my captain

Inara -- What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?
Mal -- That it was manly and impulsive?
Inara -- Exactly, only the words I used was DON'T

Zoe -- I thought being in port that long would make you landcrazy.
Wash -- Well, I've been sane awhile now and change is good

Mal -- looks like the planet's comming up a might fast.
Wash -- that's because we're going down too fast, Likely crash and kill us all
Mal -- well, when that happens let me know.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2006, 05:51:49 PM by MoonHunter »

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« Reply #19 on: June 30, 2005, 01:18:52 AM »
"Gimme back my belly fruit!"-The Simpsons
Bob Saget!

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« Reply #20 on: June 30, 2005, 05:49:44 AM »
''Why go for the kill,when you can go for the pain?!''-Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

 ''Slayer is a term for sci-fic nerds and screaming teen girls! I'm a vampire hunter!''-The Chronicle:News from the edge.
“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

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FireFly Rocks!
« Reply #21 on: August 20, 2005, 06:42:10 PM »
opening song: Take my love, take my land / Take me where I cannot stand / I don't care, I'm still free / You can't take the sky from me / Take me out to the black / Tell 'em I ain't comin' back / Burn the land and boil the sea / You can't take the sky from me / There's no place I can be / Since I found serenity / But you can't take the sky from me


[Opening narration; first lines spoken in series]
Book: After the Earth was used up, we found a new solar system and hundreds of new Earths were terra formed and colonized. The central planets formed the Alliance and decided all the planets had to join under their rule. There was some disagreement on that point. After the War, many of the Independents who had fought and lost drifted to the edges of the system, far from Alliance control. Out here, people struggled to get by with the most basic technologies; a ship would bring you work, a gun would help you keep it. A captain's goal was simple: find a crew, find a job, keep flying.

[another first season opening credits narration]
Mal: Here's how it is: Earth got used up, so we terraformed a whole new galaxy of Earths, some rich and flush with new technologies, some not so much. Central Planets, them was formed the Alliance, waged war to bring everyone under their rule; a few idiots tried to fight it, among them myself. I'm Malcolm Reynolds, captain of the Serenity. Got a good crew: fighters, pilot, mechanic. We even picked up a preacher, and a bona fide companion. There's a doctor, too, his genius sister from some Alliance camp, so they're keeping a low profile. You got a job, we can do it, don't much care what it is.

Kaylee: You're gonna come with us.
Book: 'Scuse me?
Kaylee: You like ships. You don't seem to be looking at the destination, what you care about is the ships. And mine's the nicest.
Book: She don't look like much.
Kaylee: Oh, she'll fool you.

Kaylee: How come you don't care where you're going?
Book: 'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.

Mal: Ship like this, be with you until the day you die.
Zoë: That's because it's a deathtrap.

Zoë: [about Serenity, on first seeing her] You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?

Wash: Who's flying this thing? Oh right, that would be me.

Captain Reynolds: He's not the first psycho to hire us nor the last. You think that's a commentary on us?

Zoë: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal: This is my first mate, Zoe. I'll introduce you to the rest later. They're good folk.
Jayne: Can I start getting sexed already?
Mal: Well, that one's kind of horrific.

Mal: Don't worry... this is all part of our new plan.
Kaylee: Captain, how exactly is this...
Mal: Still working out the details.

Mal: You are very much lacking in imagination.
Zoë: I imagine that's so, sir.

Jayne: [into radio] Testing. Captain, can you hear me?
Mal: I'm standing right here.
Jayne: [into radio] You're coming in good and loud, too.
Mal: 'Cause I'm standing right here.

Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with until you understand who's in ruttin' command here. Now we're finishing this deal, and then maybe maybe we'll come back for those morons who got themselves caught.
[Starts breathing heavily]
Jayne: You can't change that by getting all...
[His voice slows]
Jayne: ... bendy.
Wash: [not understanding the bendy thing] All what?
Jayne: [obviously drugged] You've got the light... from the console... keep you, lift you up. They shine like...
[tries to catch the light in his hands]
Jayne: ... little angels...
[Jayne collapses with a thud. The crew just stares]
Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
Simon: I told him to sit down.
[holds up hyperdermic]

Book: That young man's very brave.
Mal: Yeah. He's my hero.

Inara: What did I tell you about barging into my shuttle?
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?
Inara: Yes, precisely, only the exact phrase I used was "don't".

Mal: How's business?
Inara: None of yours.

Zoë: [noting the alliance guards] Sir, you think we might be missing some information on why there are 20 trained alliance guards on the train?
Mal: Doesn't concern us.
Zoë: Kinda concerns me.
Mal: I mean, they aren't guarding the loot, or otherwise they wouldn't be letting passengers through. So I say, we just go on with the mission as planned.
Zoë: You don't think this changes the situation a bit?
Mal: Surely does. Makes it more fun!
Zoë: Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal: This is why we lost you know, superior numbers.
Zoë: Thanks for the reenactment, sir.

Guy on Planet: [drunk] Hey, you gonna toast Unification day with me? 15 years today, the alliance sent the brown coats runnin', pissin' their pants... You know, your coat is kinda a brownish color.
Mal: It was on sale.
Guy on Planet: You didn't toast? Y'know, I'm thinkin' you're one o' those Browncoats...
Mal: And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schoolin', so why don't we just ignore each other 'till we go away.
Guy on Planet: ... the Browncoats were a bunch o' cowardly pisspots, should'a been killed off o' every world spinnin'.
Mal: [puts down drink] Say that to my face.
Guy on Planet: [threateningly] I said you're a coward and a pisspot. Now what're you gonna do about it?
Mal: [smiles suddenly] Nothing. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you.
[Guy on Planet turns, and Zoë hits him in the face with the butt of her gun]
Mal: Drunks are so cute.

Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.

Mal: This job I would pull for free.
Zoë: Can I have your share?
Mal: No
Zoë: If you die, can I have your share?
Mal: Yes.

Mal: Can't get paid if you're dead.
Jayne: Can't get paid if you crawl away like a bitty little bug neither. I got a share of this job. Ten percent of nothin' is, let me do the math here... nothin' and a nothin', carry the nothin'...

Mal: Let me make this abundantly clear. I do the job, and then I get paid.

Mal: You know, they tell ya to never hit a man with a closed fist but it is, on occasion, hilarious.

Kaylee: We tried to get him into the infirmary, he's just... heavy.

[Jayne is trying to trade his favorite gun for Mal's new wife]
Mal: She's a human being. She has a name.
Jayne: So is this. I call her Vera.

Book: If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

[comforting Mal's new wife]
Kaylee: Oh, don't worry honey, he makes everybody cry. He's like a monster.
Mal Reynolds: [desperately] I am not a monster.

Zoë: Next time we smuggle stock, let's make it something smaller.
Wash: Yeah, we should start dealing in those black market beagles.

Zoë: Captain'll come up with a plan.
Kaylee: Well, that's good... right?
Zoë: Possibly you're not recalling some of his previous plans.

Mal: Well look at this. 'Pears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoë: Big d**n heroes, sir.
Mal: Ain't we just.

Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face.

Zoë: Shepard, isn't the Bible kind of specific about killing?
Book: Very specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzy around the area of kneecaps.

Inara: So, explain to me again why Zoe wasn't in the dress?
Mal: Tactics, woman. Needed her in the back. Besides, those soft cotton dresses feel kinda nice. There's a whole airflow.
Inara: And you'd know that because...?
Mal: You can't open the book of my life and jump in the middle. Like woman, I'm a mystery.

Simon: I've never shot anyone before.
Book: I was there, son. I'm fairly sure you haven't shot anyone yet.

Wash: Psychic? Sounds like something out of science fiction.
Zoë: We live on a spaceship, dear.
Wash: So?

Jayne: So, like, never?
Book: Well, no.
Jayne: Not ever, never?
Book: Some orders allow shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.
Jayne: But you still got the urge. They don't... cut it off or nothin'?
Book: No, I'm more or less intact. I just direct my energy elsewhere.
Jayne: You mean like masturbatin'?

Jayne: Let's move this conversation in a not-Jayne's-fault direction.

Zoë: Where's River now?
Mal: In her room, which I'm thinking we bolt from the outside from now on.
Wash: That's a little extreme, isn't it?
Jayne: Anyone remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
Wash: [smiling] Wacky fun.

Zoë: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.
Jayne: Butcher's knife.
Zoë: Anyone we can't spare.

Book: People like a man of god.
Mal: No, they don't. Men of god make people feel guilty and judged.

Badger: The situation is... fluid.
Jayne: The only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay our wage.

Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might want to see to that.

Simon: Are you out of your mind?
Mal: Just about.

Mal: You've only got to scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

Mal: You know, you ain't quite right.
River: It's a popular theory.

Book: I'd forgotten - you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
Simon: Yes; I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

Jayne: [drinking tea] This ain't bad.
Badger: There's a trick to it. Wood alcohol.
Mal: So now we're favored guests, treated to beverages that make you blind.

Inara: I am grateful, you know, for the ill-conceived and high-handed attempt to defend my honor although I didn't want you to.
Mal: Gracious as that is...

Mal: Looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down, dirty... deceiver.
Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?
Zoë: It had a kinda poetry to it.

Jayne: Hey, do you have any funny whorin' stories?
Inara: Oh, do I ever. Funny and sexy. You have no idea. And you never will.

Sir Warrick Harrow: I know
[nods toward Badger]
Sir Warrick Harrow: ...and I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.

Jayne: What we need is a diversion. I say Zoe gets nekked.
Wash: No.
Jayne: I could get nekked...?
Zoë: No.
Wash: No.

Jayne: Are you saying River's a witch?
Wash: Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the Beast.
Jayne: She's in Congress?
Wash: How did your brain even learn human speech?

Inara: It sounds like something this crew can handle. I can't guarantee they'll handle it particularly well.
Nandi: If they've got guns and brains at all...
Inara: They've got guns.

Jayne: Don't see much point getting involved in other people's troubles without an up-front price negotiation.
Zoë: As I said, no-one's forcing you to go. This job is purely speculative.
Jayne: Good. Don't know these people, don't much care to.
Mal: They're whores.
Jayne: I'm in.

Simon: You're in a dangerous line of work, Jayne. Odds are you'll be under my knife again. Often. So I want you to understand one thing very clearly: No matter what you do or say or plot, no matter how you come down on us, I will never, ever harm you. You're on this table, you're safe... because I'm your medic. No matter how little we may like or trust each other, we're on the same crew. Got the same troubles, same enemies - and more than enough of both. We could circle each other and growl, sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me. Now I don't care what you've done, and I don't know what you're planning on doing, but I'm trusting you. I think you should do the same. Because I don't see this working any other way.
River: Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Jayne: Mal! Looks like we got us some imminent violence!

Sir Warwick Harrow: You didn't have to wound that man.
Mal: No, but it was funny.

Zoë: If I'm gonna wear a dress, I want something with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I'll chip in.

[standing over his wounded opponent, refusing to kill him]
Mal: You know, they say mercy is the mark of a great man.
[stabs the man]
Mal: Guess I'm just a good man.
[stabs him again]
Mal: Well, I'm all right.

Jayne: [to Simon] Little Kaylee here just wishes you was a gynecologist.
[Jayne laughs]
Mal: Jayne, you will keep a civil tongue in that mouth, or I will sew it shut. Is there an understanding between us?
Jayne: You don't pay me to talk pretty. Just because Kaylee gets lubed up over some big-city dandy...
Mal: Walk away from this table. Right now.
[Jayne loads his plate with food and leaves]
Simon: What do you pay him for?
Mal: What?
Simon: I was just wondering what his job is - on the ship.
Mal: Public relations.

Simon: [after Kaylee is shot] Kaylee, can you move your feet?
Kaylee: Are you asking me to dance?

Kaylee: Everyone's got somebody. Wash, tell me I'm pretty.
Wash: Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion.
Kaylee: Cause I'm pretty?
Wash: Cause you're pretty.

Mal: Oh, I'm gonna go to the special hell.

Mal: One of you is gonna fall and die and I'm not cleaning it up.

Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Book: I, um... what?
River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logics. Doesn't make sense.

Niska: Mr. Reynolds. You died, Mr. Reynolds.
Mal: Seemed like the thing to do.
Niska: When you die, I can't hurt you anymore. And I want two days at least, minimum.

Wash: But these apples are healthsome and good.
Jayne: Yeah, grenades cost extra.

Jayne: Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking.
Inara: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.

Simon: I'm trying to put this as delicately as I can. How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?
Captain Reynolds: You don't know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you you'll be awake. You'll be facing me. And you'll be armed.

River: [after Simon looks at her to see if they found out his birthday from her] "Day" is a vestigial mode of time measurement based on solar cycles. It's not applicable... I didn't get you anything.

River: The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds, given adequate vacuuming systems.
Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with. Long as she does it quiet like.

Older Gentleman at Party: What a vision you are in your fine dress. It must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get you into that getup. 'Course your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again.

Mal: We take it to Whitefall, maybe talk to Patience.
Zoë: Sir, we don't want to deal with Patience again.
Mal: Why not?
Zoë: She shot you.
Mal: Well, yeah, she did a bit.

Kaylee: Jayne, open the port jet control.
[nods towards it]
Kaylee: Cut the hydraulics.
Jayne: [looks around] Where the hell is it?
Kaylee: [points] Look! Look! Look where I'm pointing!

Zoë: [to Mal] Sir, I'd like you to take the helm please.
[looks at Wash]
Zoë: I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
Wash: Work, work, work...

Mal: Do you ever wash a client's feet?
Inara: [sarcasm] It's my specialty.

Zoë: If she can fly this thing why'd she take the shuttle?
Wash: Maybe she likes shuttles.
[off everyone's looks]
Wash: Some people juggle geese!

Inara: [about Saffron] She tried to seduce too.
Mal: Really? Did she - with - did you...?
Inara: You don't play a player.

Jayne: [to his gun] See Vera? Dress yourself up, you get taken out somewhere fun.

Saffron: How'd you find me?
Mal: Only a couple places that shuttle would make it to from where you left... happy to find it intact.
Saffron: You're quite a man, Malcolm Reynolds.
Saffron: I've been waiting a long time for someone good enough to take me down.
Mal: Saffron, you even think about playing me again I will riddle you with holes.
Saffron: Everybody plays each other. That's all anybody ever does. We play parts.

Kaylee: Look, they got boy whores.
Kaylee: Isn't that thoughtful?

Mal: [Mal is in the process of rescuing Simon from being burned at the stake] Your talent for alienating folks is near miraculous.
Simon: Yes, I'm very proud.

Jayne: What'd y'all order a dead guy for?

Mal: We're not gonna die. We can't die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so... very... pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

Jayne: [Jayne, himself a tough guy, describing a mobster's goons] These are stone killers. They ain't cuddly like me.

Mal: One of those will feed a family for a month. Longer if they don't like their kids too well.

Mal Reynolds: If anyone gets nosy just, you know, shoot them.
Zoë: Shoot them?
Mal Reynolds: Politely.

Mal: How about I keep out of your whoring and you keep out of my thieving?

Town Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.

Mal: Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? I'm not saying you weren't easy to find, but it was kind of out of our way and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's looking to kill some folk, so really it's his will y'all should be worried about thwarting.

Mal: [saving River and Simon from being burned at the stake to crowd] You all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the very big gun? Now I'm not saying you weren't hard to find, but it was kinda out of our way, and he didn't wanna come in the first place. Man's lookin' to do some killin'.
[about River]
Mal: Cut her down.
Town Patron: She's a witch!
Mal: Yeah, but she's our witch.
[points gun at Town Patron]
Mal: So cut her the hell down.

Patience: Didn't expect to be hearing from you any time soon.
Mal Reynolds: Well, we may not have parted on best terms. I realise certain words were exchanged, also certain bullets.

Mal: [about River] She's a mite whimsical in the brainpan.
« Last Edit: January 26, 2006, 05:54:32 PM by MoonHunter »
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« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2005, 07:22:15 PM »
All thanks to J. Michael Straczynski, creator/writer/producer of the television show Babylon 5 and writer of almost all of these quotations. Additional thanks to aarondf@bu.edu for compiling them.

"I was there, at the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind. It began in the Earth year 2257 with the founding of the last of the Babylon stations, located deep in neutral space. It was a port of call for refugees, smugglers, businessmen, diplomats and travelers from a hundred worlds. It could be a dangerous place, but we accepted the risk because Babylon 5 was our last, best hope for peace. Under the leadership of its final commander, Babylon 5 was a dream given form, a dream of a galaxy without war, when species from different worlds could live side-by-side in mutual respect, a dream that was endangered as never before by the arrival of one man on a mission of destruction. Babylon 5 was the last of the Babylon stations. This is its story."
Ambassador Londo Mollari, Babylon 5 Pilot Opening monologue in The Gathering

"Sooner or later, everyone comes to Babylon 5."
Commander Jeffrey Sinclair, The Gathering

"Would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during the mating? I would prefer conscious, but I don't know what your .. pleasure threshold is."
Ambassador G'Kar to Lyta Alexander, The Gathering

"It was the Dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, ten years after the Earth-Minbari War. The Babylon Project was a dream given form. Its goal: to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully. It's a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs and wanderers. Humans and aliens wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal .. all alone in the night. It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last, best hope for peace. -- This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2258. The name of the place is Babylon 5."
Sinclair, Season 1 Opening monologue in Midnight on the Firing Line

"The wheel turns, does it not, Ambassador?"
G'Kar to Londo, Midnight on the Firing Line

"Commander, please. On the issue of galactic peace, I am long past innocence and fast approaching apathy. It's all a game -- a paper fantasy of names and borders. Only one thing matters, Commander. Blood calls out for blood."
Londo, Midnight on the Firing Line

"I will confess that I look forward to the day when we have cleansed the Universe of the Centauri and carved their bones into little flutes for Narn children. It is a dream I have."
"Be careful, Ambassador. Not every dream I've heard lately ends well for you."
G'Kar and Sinclair, Midnight on the Firing Line

"They are alone. They are a dying people. We should let them pass."
Ambassador Kosh Naranek, Midnight on the Firing Line

"It's all so brief, isn't it? Typical human lifespan is almost a hundred years, but it's barely a second compared to what's out there. It wouldn't be so bad if life didn't take so long to figure out. Seems you just start to get it right and then .. it's over."
"Doesn't matter. If we lived two hundred years, we'd still be human.
We'd still make the same mistakes." "You're a pessimist."
"I am Russian, Doctor. We understand these things."
Dr. Stephen Franklin Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova, Soul Hunter

"What do you want, you moon-faced assassin of joy?"
Londo to Vir, Born to the Purple

"You still haven't told me when the commander is due back?"
"How soon is soon?"
"Longer than little while, faster than later."
Mary Ann Cramer and Security Chief Michael Garibaldi, Infection

"The last time I gave an interview they told me to just relax and say what I really felt. Ten minutes after the broadcast I got transferred to an outpost so far off the starmaps you couldn't find it with a hunting dog and an ouiji board."
"Don't sweat it. Just be that charming, effervescent commander we've all come to know and love. What's the worst that could happen? They fire you, ship you off to the Rim and I get promoted to Commander. I don't see a problem here."
Sinclair and Garibaldi, Infection

"No. We have to stay here and there's a simple reason why. Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe and Lao-Tzu, Einstein, Morobuto, Buddy Holly, Aristophanes .. and all of this .. all of this was for nothing unless we go to the stars."
Sinclair, Infection

"Ambassador, it is not my place to speculate on how anything gets in your bed."
Aide Na'Toth to G'Kar,The Parliament of Dreams

"With luck, they may never find you, but if they do, you will know pain .."
".. and you will know fear .."
".. and then you will die. Have a pleasant flight."
G'Kar and Na'Toth to Tu'Pari, The Parliament of Dreams

"Let me pass on to you the one thing I've learned about this place: No one here is exactly what he appears. Not Mollari, not Delenn, not Sinclair .. and not me."
G'Kar, Mind War

"There are things in the Universe billions of years older than either of our races. They are vast, timeless, and if they are aware of us at all, it is as little more than ants and we have as much chance of communicating with them as an ant has with us. We know. We've tried and we've learned that we can either stay out from underfoot or be stepped on. They are a mystery and I am both terrified and reassured to know that there are still wonders in the Universe, that we have not explained everything. Whatever they are, Miss Sakai, they walk near Sigma 957 and they must walk there alone."
Ambassador G'Kar, Mind War

"That's a lie."
"Yes, it is. What's your point?"
Psi-Cop Alfred Bester and Sinclair, Mind War

"You're a vicious man."
"I'm Head of Security. It's in the job description."
Ivanova and Garibaldi, The War Prayer

"Mr. Garibaldi, there're days I'm very glad I don't have to think the way you do."
Ivanova, And the Sky Full of Stars

"What is he? And what was on that data crystal he gave you?"
"Reflection. Surprise. Terror. For the future."
Talia Winters and Kosh, Deathwalker

"You will fall upon one another like wolves. It will make what we did pale by comparison. The billions who live forever will be a monument to my work, and the billions who are murdered to buy that immortality will be the continuance of my work. Not like us? You will become us. That's my monument."
Ja'Dur (Deathwalker), Deathwalker

"Ambassador Kosh has been a busy boy today."
"They say God works in mysterious ways."
"Maybe so, but He's a con man compared to the Vorlon."

Security Chief Michael Garibaldi and Sinclair, Deathwalker

"The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote."
Kosh, Believers

"'Sure' is for people with nothing on the line. You and me, we just get on with it."
Garibaldi, Believers

"Who asked you to play God ?"
"Every d**n patient who comes through that door, that's who! People come to doctors because they want us to be gods. They want us to make it better .. or make it not so. They want to be healed and they come to me when their prayers aren't enough. Well, if I have to take the responsibility, then I claim the authority too. I did good. And we both know it. And no-one is going to take that away."
Sinclair and Dr. Franklin, Believers

"I'm waiting. For an apology."
"You better check the temperature in Hell first."

Dr. Stephen Franklin and Sinclair, Believers

"That's no excuse for what I put you through."
"It's not about excuses. Seventeen years ago, we both died inside. But somehow we survived. For better or worse, that's all we can do. Survive, and maybe one day, forget how much it can hurt to be human."
Lianna Kemmer and Garibaldi, Survivors

"The universe is driven by the complex interaction between three ingredients: matter, energy, and enlightened self-interest."
G'Kar, Survivors

"We all believe in something .. greater than ourselves, even if it's just the blind forces of chance."
"Chance favors the warrior."
G'Kar and Na'toth, By Any Means Necessary

"Sleep well?"
"Sleeping is not the problem. Waking up -- that is a problem. I've always had hard time getting up when it's dark outside."
"But in space it's always dark."
"I know, I know."
Sinclair and Ivanova, Signs and Portents

"Leave this place. They are not for you. Go, leave. Now."
Kosh to Mr. Morden, Signs and Portents

"So, how are things back home?"
"They change, they stay the same. Russia is Russia. Your father used to say: 'If regret could be harvested, Russia would be the world's fruit-basket.'"
Ivanova and Rabbi Jossel Koslov, TKO

"It doesn't matter that his Grail may or may not exist, what matters is that he strives for the perfection of his soul and the salvation of his race and that he has never wavered a lost faith."
Delenn, Grail

"Mr. Gray, I'm grateful the Psi Corps give you purpose in life, but when that purpose includes scanning *my* mind to prove *my* loyalty, it's not only an invasion of my privacy, but my honor. As for fear, if you enter my mind for any reason I will twist your head off and use it for a chamber pot. If you'll excuse me."
Ivanova, Eyes

"There is nothing more annoying than Mr. Garibaldi when he's right."
Ivanova, Legacies

The Babylon 5 mantra:
"Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out. Babylon Control out. [Sigh] Civilians. [Looking up] Just kidding about the God part -- no offense."
Lt. Commander Susan Ivanova, Voice in the Wilderness Part I

"Now, I go to spread happiness to the rest of the station. It is a terrible responsibility but I have learned to live with it."
Londo, A Voice in the Wilderness, Part I

"I know, I know. It's a Russian thing. When we're about to do something stupid, we like to catalog the full extent of our stupidity for future reference."
Ivanova, A Voice in the Wilderness, Part II

"Now, landing thrusters.. landing thrusters, hmm. Now if I were a landing thruster, which one of these would I be?"
Londo, A Voice in the Wilderness, Part II

"You take, Zathras die. You leave, Zathras die. Either way, it is bad for Zathras."
Zathras, Babylon Squared

"Next! You can start by removing your clothes."
"Not without dinner and flowers."
Dr. Franklin and Ivanova, The Quality of Mercy

"Now out of that 50, how many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with G'Kar's teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?"
"All of them?"
"Sounds right. And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to give quadrant 37 to the Narns. I think I will stick my head in the station's fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while I might even come to enjoy it. But this -- this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by .. what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack' .."
"Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats."
Londo and Vir, Chrysalis

"There comes a time when you look into the mirror and realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. Then you accept it, or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking into mirrors."
Londo, Chrysalis

"And so it begins. You have forgotten something."
Kosh, Chrysalis

"Nothing's the same anymore."
Sinclair, Chrysalis

"The Babylon project was our last best hope for peace. A self-contained world five miles long, located in neutral territory. A place of commerce and diplomacy for a quarter of a million humans and aliens. A shining beacon in space, all alone in the night. It was the dawn of the third age of mankind, the year the great war came upon us all. This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2259, the name of the place is Babylon 5."
Captain John Sheridan, Season 2 opening monologue in Points of Departure

"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."
Ivanova, Points of Departure

"It was an early earth president, Abraham Lincoln, who best described our situation. 'The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present. The occasion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise to the occasion. We cannot escape history. We will be remembered in spite of ourselves. The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or dishonor, to the last generation. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, or last best hope for Earth.'"
Sheridan, Points of Departure

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of "Spiritus Mundi"
Troubles my sight: somewhere in the sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indigent desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

G'Kar to Na'Toth, Revelations
Quoted sections are shown in italics. The poem is The Second Coming by William Butler Yeats.

"Ambassador Delenn remains indisposed."
"'Indisposed'! She's in a cocoon!"
Lennier and Londo, Revelations

"Weep for the future, Na'toth. Weep for us all."
"Are you all right?"
"I have looked into the darkness, Na'toth. You can not do that and never be quite the same again. When you told me about the destruction of our base at quadrant 37, I knew that only a major power could attempt an assault of that magnitude. But none of the governments here could've done it. Which left only two possibilities: a new race, or an old race. A very old race."
G'kar to Na'toth, Revelations

"What you are asking could be considered treason."
"Or the first step in restoring our people to their rightful place in the galaxy. Depending on who writes the history books. I think it will be us."
Londo and Lord Refa, The Geometry of Shadows

"You don't frighten easily"
"I work for Ambassador Mollari. After a while nothing bothers you."
Elric the Technomage and Vir Cotto, The Geometry of Shadows

"You will have to wear a cast. And it's gonna hurt."
"Swell. Ouch."
"I can give you something for the pain."
"Oh, great, *now* you can give me something for the pain. Where were you when I was going through puberty?"
Franklin and Ivanova, The Geometry of Shadows

"Rules of combat older than contact with other races. Did not mention aliens. Rules change caught up in committee. Not come through yet."
Former Green Drazi Leader, The Geometry of Shadows

"We are dreamers, shapers, singers, and makers. We study the mysteries of laser and circuit, crystal and scanner, holographic demons and invocations of equations. These are the tools we employ and we know many things."
Elric, The Geometry of Shadows

"Oh, I'm afraid you have to spend the rest of your life paying for your mistakes. Not this one of course, it's trivial, I have withdrawn the spell, but there will be others."
"What are you talking about?"
"You are touched by darkness ambassador. I see it as a blemish that will grow with time. I could warn you of course, but you would not listen. I could kill you, but someone would take your place. So I do the only thing I can, I go."
Elric and Londo, The Geometry of Shadows

"Well take this for what little it will profit you. As I look at you ambassador Mollari, I see a great hand reaching out of the stars. The hand is your hand. And I hear sounds. The sounds of billions of people calling your name."
"My followers?"
"Your victims."
Elric and Londo, The Geometry of Shadows

"I'll gain weight!"
"Well, briefly, yes."
"Figures. All my life I've fought against imperialism. Now, suddenly I *am* the expanding Russian frontier."
"But with very nice borders."
Ivanova and Franklin, A Distant Star

"Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are starstuff, we are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out. As we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective."
Ambassador Delenn, A Distant Star

"An old friend of mine once quoted me an ancient Egyptian blessing: 'God be between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.'"
Sheridan to Zeta Squadron, A Distant Star

"What else have I missed?"
"Oh. The usual. The good times, and the bad times, the revelations, the revolutions. Outbreaks of hysteria, the parade of scandals, promises, constitutions, and the occasional war. The last big ones were against the Dilgar, which we won, and against the Minbari, which.. Well, that's a long story."
Mariah Cirrus and Dr. Franklin, The Long Dark

"Well, you know how I feel about telepaths."
"Do I ever. You threw one out of a third story window on Io."
"There was an ample pool below the window."
"Alas, I assume you knew that."
Ivanova and Sheridan, Spider in the Web

"What's he hiding, Vir? Tell me. I won't bite, Vir."
"With all due respect, Madame, that's not what I've heard."
"All right, that one time."
Timov and Vir, Soul Mates

"You seriously expect me to become involved in your sexual olympics?"
"They are merely expressing their feelings for me."
"I can do that." [slaps Londo in the face]
"You haven't changed."
"You have. You've devolved."

Timov and Londo, Soul Mates

"We do not have cats on Minbar, we have gogs."
"Gogs. Such creatures are an attempt by the universe to make sure that we never take ourselves too seriously."
Delenn and Sheridan, A Race Through Dark Places

"...Hardly the description of a monster."
"Smooth. You're getting good at this. Keep working on it. One of these days I might even be convinced that you're human."
Bester and Garibaldi, A Race Through Dark Places

"No regrets then?"
"A few. But just a few. You?"
"Oh, enough to fill a lifetime. So much has been lost, so much forgotten. So much pain, so much blood. And for what, I wonder. The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. And our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast terrible inbetween. But there is still time to cease that one last fragile moment. To choose something better, to make a difference, as you say. And I intend to do just that."
Centauri Emperor and Sheridan, The Coming of Shadows

"Mollari. What did he say, really?"
"He said .. that we are both d**ned."
"Well. It's a small enough price to pay for immortality."
Lord Refa and Londo, The Coming of Shadows

"We are all slaves to our histories. If there is to be a .. bright future, we must learn to break those chains."
Delenn, GROPOS

"Summoned, I take the place that has been prepared for me. I am Grey. I stand between the candle and the star. We are Grey. We stand between the darkness and the light."
Delenn, All Alone in the Night

"It is good to have friends, is it not, Mr. Garibaldi? Even if, maybe, only for a little while?"
"Even if only for a little while."
Londo and Garibaldi, Acts of Sacrifice

"Dammit, what do you want? What do you want from me? You know, ever since I got here I had this feeling that .. that you've been watching me. The record shows you hardly ever went to council meetings until I showed up. When I was captured, it was you .. reached out and .. touched my mind. Now you call me here. Why? Just to throw me out? Are we just toys to you, ha? What do you want?"
"Never ask that question."
"At least I got a response out of you. So, what will it be, Ambassador?"
"I will teach you."
"About yourself?"
"About you. Until you are ready."
"For what?"
"To fight legends."

Sheridan and Kosh, Hunter, Prey

"It's a mockery. It doesn't even have any .. ahhem .. attributes."
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Londo and Sheridan, There All the Honor Lies

"Why does any advanced civilization seek to destroy less advanced one? Because the land is strategically valuable, because there are resources that can be cultivated and exploited, but most of all, simply because they can."
G'Kar, And Now For a Word

"What do you want?"
"I'd like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I'd look up at your lifeless eyes and wave like this. Can you and your associates arrange it for me, Mr. Morden?"
Morden and Vir, In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum

"There are beings in the universe billions of years older than either of our races. Once, long ago, they walked among the stars like giants, vast, timeless. Taught the younger races, explored beyond the rim, created great empires, but to all things, there is an end. Solely, over a million years, First Ones went away. Some passed beyond the stars never to return. Some simply disappeared."
Delenn, In the Shadow of Z'ha'dum

"The blood is already on my hands. Right or wrong, .. I must follow the path .. to its end."
Londo, Knives

"Don't look away, Captain. All life is transitory, a dream. We all come together in the same place, at the end of time. If I don't see you again here, I will see you, in a little while, in a place where no shadows fall."
Delenn, Confessions and Lamentations

"I have been nothing but compassionate and understanding. I mean, all you had to do was to admit you were wrong and I was right and everything would've been fine."
Ivanova to Talia Winters, Divided Loyalties

"Mass drivers! They have been outlawed by every civilized planet!"
"These are uncivilized times."
"We have treaties."
"Ink on a page."
Londo and Refa, The Long, Twilight Struggle

"No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by the force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power governments, and tyrants, and armies can not stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years, we will be free."
G'Kar, The Long, Twilight Struggle

"Mr. Garibaldi. I have been on this station long enough to know that you don't ask leading questions unless you already know the answers. So, why don't we just pretend I've lied about it, you've caught me in your web of insufferable logic and cut to the point."
G'Kar to Garibaldi, Comes the Inquisitor

"I apologize. I'm .. sorry. I'm sorry we had to defend ourselves against an unwarranted attack. I'm sorry that your crew was stupid enough to fire on a station filled with a quarter million civilians, including your own people. And I'm sorry I waited as long as I did before I blew them all straight to hell. .. As with everything else, it's the thought that counts."
Sheridan, The Fall of Night

"The Babylon project was our last, best hope for peace. .. It failed. .. But in the year of the Shadow war it became something greater: our last, best hope .. for victory. The year is 2260, the place: Babylon 5."
Ivanova, Season 3 Opening monologue in Matters of Honor

"I'm not authorized for that kind of information."
"But you are the head of security."
"Then what kind of head of security would I be if I let people like me know things that I'm not supposed to know? I know what I know because I have to know it. And if I don't have to know it, I don't tell me, and I don't let anyone else tell me either. Now look, we have tried most of the other ambassadors, why don't you speak to G'Kar, maybe he knows something about this ship."
Garibaldi and David Endawi, Matters of Honor

"God goes by many names, perhaps some alien sounding, different faces, and history, but all describing the same Creator. We've come here to learn all those names, in hopes of better understanding the One who's behind them."
Brother Theo to Ivanova, Convictions

"There, you see! I'm going to live."
"So it would seem. Well, it's an imperfect universe."
"You are insane!"
"And that is why we'll win."
"Go be the ambassador to Babylon 5 they say. Will be an *easy* assignment. Ah, I hate my life."
"So do I."
"Shut up!"
Londo and G'Kar, Convictions

"So is that what it's about, pride? It's not enough that we have beaten them, we have to break them?"
"Yes, I'm sorry, I thought you understood that. I don't want our people to go through this again in another hundred years. There's a way things are done, Vir, nothing personal."
Vir and Londo, A Day in the Strife

"I want to protect you."
"I don't want to be protected!"
"Well, I'm afraid it's not your decision. It's already done. You've been promoted. You'll earn more money, receive more attention, women may even come to find you attractive .. in time."
Londo and Vir, A Day in the Strife

"We are the universe, trying to understand itself."
Delenn, Passing Through Gethsemane

"Good luck, Captain. I think you are about to go where everyone has gone before."
Ivanova, Voices of Authority

"With our basic freedom in stake, no response can be too extreme. There maybe some minor and *temporary* abridgments in the traditionally protected areas, such as speech and association, but only until this crisis is over."
Julie Musante, Voices of Authority

"I will not support murder. We can not kill him."
"Can we wound him? Just a little?"
Franklin and Ivanova, Dust to Dust
"Decorative, and soft. Probably out to impose their views on everyone else."
"But their cities are thousands of years old."
"The lack of new construction is a sure sign of a faltering economy. This could make them very aggressive."
"They are deeply spiritual people, Londo."
"That you can leave in. It always scares people."

Vir and Londo, Dust to Dust

"What is there left for Narn if all of creation falls around us? There's nothing. No hope, no dream, no future, no life. Unless we turn from the cycle of death toward something greater. If we are a dying people, then let us die with honor, by helping the others as no-one else can."
"I can't understand."
"Because you have let them distract you. Blind you with hate. You cannot see the battle for what it is. We are fighting to save one another, we must realize we are not alone. We rise and fall together. And some of us must be sacrificed if all are to be saved. Because, if we fail in this, then none of us will be saved. And the Narn will be only a memory."
Narn Image and G'Kar, Dust to Dust

"Hi! Something I can help you with?"
"I don't know, I was thinking .. flowers."
"Thinking flowers is good, giving flowers is better. What's the occasion?"
"I'm not sure, but I think I have a date."
"She asked you out?"
"She asked me in, her place."
"Works fast. Is she aggressive?"
"You could say that."
"Hah. Lucky guy."
"It's not like that. Well, it's not like that yet. .. I think."
Flower salesman and David Corwin, Exogenesis

"And according to one of our units on the border of Centauri space, they've continued massing their fleet. We don't know why. Maybe they expect a counter attack, it's hard to say. And they have much to be concerned about. There's always the threat of an attack by say, a giant space dragon, the kind that leaves the sun every thirty days. It's a nuisance, but what would you expect from reptiles. Did I mention that my nose was on fire? That I have fifteen wild badgers living in my trousers? I'm sorry, would you prefer ferrets?"
Marcus to Ivanova, Messages from Earth

"I thought the purpose of filing these reports was to provide accurate intelligence."
"Vir, intelligence has nothing to do with politics."
Vir and Londo, Point of No Return

"I believe that I have been touched. That I am meant for something greater. A greater darkness or a greater good, I can no longer say. All I have ever wanted is to serve our people. I need to see what is before me. If I should escape it, or embrace it. If there is any longer a choice."
"There is always choice. We say there is no choice only to comfort ourselves with the decision we have already made. If you understand that, there's hope. If not .."
Londo and Lady Morella, Point of No Return

"You must understand, Ta'Lon, I have had a revelation."
"What kind of revelation ?"
"Most profound and substantial one, Ta'Lon. The kind of revelation that transforms your mind, .. your soul, .. your heart, .. even your flesh. So that you are a new creature. We born in the instant of understanding."
G'Kar and Ta'Lon, Point of No Return

"You have a chance few others will ever have, Mollari. You still have three opportunities to avoid the fire that waits for you at the end of your journey. You've already wasted two others. You must save the eye that does not see. You must not kill the one who is already dead. And at the last, you must surrender yourself to your greatest fear, knowing that it will destroy you. Now, if you fail all the others, that is your final chance for redemption."
"I .. don't understand."
"The future reveals itself only reluctantly, Ambassador. Take the sign for what it is. Look for it when it appears."
"I will, thank you."
Lady Morella and Londo, Point of No Return

"This is Ambassador Delenn of the Minbari. Babylon 5 is under our protection. Withdraw, .. or be destroyed."
"Negative. We have authority here. Do not force us to engage your ship."
"Why not? Only one human captain has ever survived battle with Minbari fleet. He is behind me. You are in front of me. If you value your lives, be somewhere else."
Delenn and Captain Drake, Severed Dreams

"Only an idiot fights a war on two fronts. Only the heir to the throne of the kingdom of idiot would fight a war on twelve fronts."
"We can handle it. Our resources are greater than you think."
Londo and Lord Refa, Ceremonies of Light and Dark

"Oh, Londo, you are a fool. You walk away from the greatest power I have even seen, and now you expect me to do the same. They are the key to my eventual rise to the throne. Why would I abandon them?"
"Because I have asked you. And because your loyalty to our people should be greater than your ambition. And because I have poisoned your drink."
Lord Refa and Londo, Ceremonies of Light and Dark

"I'm already attending to my past, my present and what remains of my future. I do not require your assistance. Or your approval. Enjoy your ceremony, Delenn. I intend to have other plans."
Londo to Delenn, Ceremonies of Light and Dark

"Hello Delenn. Now, I was thinking, you couldn't come to the ceremony, the ceremony should come to you. I've given up something that really mattered to me, the uniform and everything that goes with it. I've never told anyone before now.. When you were hurt, when you were in my arms, I was ready to kill that guy with my bare hands. I realized I have never told you how much I cared about you, how much you mean to me. I think it's time you knew that. I can no longer imagine my world .. without you in it. I don't .. know exactly when or how it happened, .. but I'm glad it did."
Sheridan to Delenn, Ceremonies of Light and Dark

"And how are things at the royal court?"
"You know, collusion, politicking, scheming, innuendo, gossip. The same old thing."
Londo and Vir, Sic Transit Vir

"There were other women, but I never got past one."
"You mean first base."
"No, no, I mean one. You see, we have six a .. we have six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's naa-naa. Then there's two .. and by the time you get to five it's ..."
"All I can say is that enthusiasm, sincerity, genuine compassion, and humor can carry you through any .. lack of .. prior experience with .. high numerical value."
"Wow, I'm gonna remember that. Thank you, thank you."
Vir and Ivanova, Sic Transit Vir

"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Marcus Cole, Ranger to Franklin, A Late Delivery from Avalon

"You know the real reason you don't like me, Commander ? It's the jealousy of evolution. Normals like you are obsolete. The future belongs to telepaths .. and I intend to make sure that future happens. One way or another."
"But we can't be on top if the aliens get there first and some of them have. Through Clarke they infiltrated the Psi-Corp. And apparently they have their own plans for my telepaths. Whoever these aliens are, they are interfering with my plans for the future. I won't have it! And so, I need someone who feels the same way I do. .. Which brings me to you. You'd like to hurt them, Commander ? Because I think I know how. If you are up for it.
Bester to Ivanova, Ship of Tears

"'Some must be sacrificed for all to be saved.' First I took that as a revelation for the future. Now I see that it is as much about how we got here as about where we are going. I think that one sentence is the greatest burden I have ever known."
"You are right, nothing would've been changed. Except that my people would now be a dead race."
"You have come a long way, G'Kar. Further than I would've guessed. Sheridan's promise binds me as well it does him. We will take you into the Council, G'Kar. And someday, when all this is over, perhaps you will find it in your heart to forgive me."
"Perhaps, but not today."
G'Kar and Delenn, Ship of Tears

"I've got it. I've got it. I've got it. It's right here. It's right here."
"Do not thump the book of G'Quon. It is disrespectful."
Garibaldi and G'Kar, Ship of Tears

"You can never go wrong with garters. .. Hmm, you might."
Vendor to Vir, Interludes and Examinations

"Anything I can do to help?"
"Hmm. Short of dying, no, can't think of a thing."
Morden and Vir, Interludes and Examinations

"It is not yet time."
"And who decides that time? You? You put me in this position, you asked me to fight this d**n war. Well, it's about time you let me fight it my way."
Kosh and Sheridan, Interludes and Examinations

"My associates need a voice and an ear in the Centauri royal court. If you violate the terms of our agreement, my associates may turn their eye toward your homeworld."
"Then, we shall pluck it out."
"If you put yourself between us and our objectives, you may come to regret it."
"There is nothing you can do to me, Mr. Morden, ...that has not already been done. Good day."
Morden and Londo, Interludes and Examinations

"There you are. Being very honored to meet you. I'm being called.."
"Zathras. We've met before on Babylon 4."
"No. .. Zathras does not.."
"It was my past, your future. Zathras, this is very important. When you meet me again, it will be me, but it won't be me now. So, you are not say anything that may change the past. Do you understand?"
"Zathras understand. .. No. Zathras not understand, but Zathras do. Zathras good at doings, not understandings. Zathras honored to meet you for many reasons."
Zathras and Sinclair, War Without End, Part I

"Yes, yes, Zathras is used to being beast of burden to other people's needs. Very sad life. Probably have very sad death, but at least there is symmetry. Go, go, Zathras take care."
Zathras, War Without End, Part I

"My life is almost over. My world, all I hoped for, gone. You two are my last chance, for this place, for my people, for my own redemption. There is a ship, hidden behind the palace, my guard will take you there. In exchange for your lives, all I ask is that you and your allies help to free my people. I can do nothing more for them."
Londo to Sheridan and Delenn, War Without End, Part II

"No-one ever listens to Zathras. Quite mad, they say. It is good that Zathras does not mind. He's even grown to like it. Oh yes."
Zathras, War Without End, Part II

"What guarantees will you give me that the crews will not open fire on a Centauri vessel as it approaches Babylon 5 ?"
"It's the same guarantee I gave when I said that none of the other Narns would break into your quarters in the middle of the night and slit your throat."
"Mr. Garibaldi, you have never given me that promise."
"You're right. Sleep tight."
Londo and Garibaldi, Walkabout

"Of course he doesn't! It's easy to fight when you've got a lot of ships to work with. The real crunch comes when you are down to almost nothing. Then you either play it safe and you probably lose it all or you take a chance. After everything we've been through with your people, Sheridan was crazy to send our pilots out to fight for your ship. They didn't want to go, they didn't want to get blown out of the sky and leave B5 defenseless, and they sure as hell didn't want to die. But they did it because Sheridan *told* them to do it, and because it was right."
"This time it is possible he could be wrong."
"Yeah, it's possible. But you don't follow an order because you know for sure it's gonna work out. You do what you are told, because your CO has the moral authority that says you may not come back. But the cause is just, and fair, and necessary. That's why Sheridan is out there, and dammit, that's where the cruiser should be too! It's not Na'kal's decision, G'Kar, he doesn't see the big picture. You do, so in my book, and your book, that makes it your responsibility. Deal with it!"
Garibaldi and G'Kar, Walkabout

"Thin air? Why is it always thin air? Never fat air, chubby air, mostly-fit-could-stand-lose-a-few-pounds air?"
Garibaldi, Grey 17 is Missing

"I am a Ranger. We walk in the dark places no others will enter. We stand on the bridge and no-one may pass. We live for the One, we die for the One."
Marcus to Neroon, Grey 17 is Missing

"Denn Shar, you said. To the death. And death there was. The death was mine. To see a human invoke the name of Valen, be willing to die for one of my kind when I was intent upon killing one of my own, the rightness of my cause disappeared. Strange, that a human in his last moments should be more of a Minbari than I. Perhaps it is true what Delenn said. That we are not of the same blood, but we are of the same heart."
"The next time .. the next time .. you want a revelation .. could you possibly find a way .. that isn't .. quite so .. uncomfortable?"
Neroon and Marcus, Grey 17 is Missing

"Londo, they could've killed me." "Nonsense, you are not important enough to kill."
Vir and Londo, And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place

"'May gods stand between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.'"
Ivanova speaking for Sheridan, Shadow Dancing

"Hey, come on Chief, it's not your fault. I heard what happened. You offered to help, he walked away."
"Yeah, I know, but the thing is: sometimes people walk away because they want to be alone, and sometimes they walk away because they want to see if you care enough to follow them into hell. I think I went the wrong way."
Zack and Garibaldi, Shadow Dancing

"The Vorlons are like your parents, I suppose. They want you to play nice, clean your room, do it by the rules. I guess you could call them Lords of Order."
"The others, the ones who live here, believe that strength only comes from conflict. They want to release our potential, not bottle it up."
"It's really simple. You bring two sides together. They fight. A lot of them die, but those who survive are stronger, smarter and better.
Justin and Anna Sheridan, Z'ha'dum

"It was the end of the Earth year 2260, and the war had paused, suddenly and unexpectedly. All around us, it was as if the universe were holding its breath, waiting. All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments .. of revelation. This had the feeling of both."
"G'Quon wrote: There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope. The death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of ctransition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always paved in pain."
G'Kar, Season 3 ending in Z'ha'dum"

"It was the year of fire, the year of destruction, the year we took back what was ours. It was the year of rebirth, the year of great sadness, the year of pain, and the year of joy. It was a new age. It was the end of history. It was the year everything changed. The year is 2261; the place: Babylon 5."
Babylon 5 Main Cast, Season 4 Opening in The Hour of the Wolf

"Minister, I have met Cartagia three times before, twice when he was an infant. He drooled most of the time, I wonder if he's continued the habit, and again when he was 15 trying to peek up the dresses of some young women. I promise you, I will be just as impressed by him now as I was then, yes?"
Londo and Minister, The Hour of the Wolf

"Ah, Mollari. It's wonderful to see you again."
"And you, Majesty. I could swear you have not changed since the last few times I saw you."
"Oh, you are of course too generous."
Emperor Cartagia and Londo, The Hour of the Wolf

"Our thoughts form the universe, they always matter."
G'Kar, The Hour of the Wolf

"What are a few million lives compared to the glory of becoming a living god?"
Emperor Cartagia, The Hour of the Wolf

"Is there something wrong?"
"Something: no. Everything: yes. Conspiracies require more than one person. And there's no-one here I trust. Come quickly, Vir, we have much to do."
Vir and Londo, The Hour of the Wolf

"Words have meaning and names have power."
Lorien, Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi?

"I was doing fine until you showed up with that .. thing in hand."
"It's a Minbari fighting pike, several hundred years old. You are just jealous because you don't have one. Bad case of pikal envy, if you ask me."
G'Kar and Marcus, Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi?

"You didn't ask the price .. for my co-operation."
"You are not exactly in a position to bargain, G'Kar."
"Neither are you. You want my help .. for the sake of your people. I will give it .. for the sake of my own. If I remove the monster from your throne, you will remove the monster .. from my world. Leave Narn, set my world free. Promise me this, and I will do as you ask."
"You have my word."

G'Kar and Londo, Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi?

"Captain, we're sorry. We thought you were dead."
"I was. I'm better now."
Drazi spokesman and Sheridan, The Summoning

"You heard?"
"I heard."
"They need to believe."
"Not in me."
"You can't save them all."
"I'll try."
"You'll fail."
"We'll see."

Lorien and Sheridan, Falling Toward Apotheosis

"He was gravely wounded at Z'ha'dum. He was dying. He was dead. I did all I could to help him, but I can not create life, only the universe can do that. I can extend, enhance, there is no magic, nothing spiritual about it, only the application of energies, healing and rebuilding cells."
Lorien, Falling Toward Apotheosis

There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail;
There gloom the dark broad seas. My mariners,
Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me-
That ever with a frolic welcome took
The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed
Free hearts, free foreheads - you and I are old;
Old age hath yet his honour and his toil.
Death closes all; but something ere the end,
Some work of noble note, may yet be done,
Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.
The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks;
The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs; the deep
Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Sheridan, The Long Night
The poem is the final stanza of Ulysses by Alfred Tennyson. Sheridan only quotes part of it.

"I can not tell you that your pain will ever go away. I can not tell you that you'll ever forget his face. I can only tell you that it was necessary. You may have helped to save our people. You did a hard thing. But you still have your heart, and your heart is a good one. You would not be in such great pain otherwise. That means there is still hope for you. And for that.. I find that I still envy you."
Londo to Vir, The Long Night

"You misunderstand me, Prime Minister. I was merely being specific. In my experience, if you can not say what you mean, you can never mean what you say. The details are everything."
Drano to Londo, Into the Fire

"Maybe the doc's right. Embrace the moment. In the end, that's all we have. Trouble will come in its own time, it always does. But that's tomorrow. Give me today, and I will be happy."
Sheridan, Epiphanies

"I have seen what power does, and I have seen what power costs. The one is never equal to the other."
G'Kar, Epiphanies

"Tired? Of course not, don't be absurd. The Emperor himself said I would only be allowed to leave over his dead body. I said: Well, how strange, Mr. Allen said I would only be allowed back on to Babylon 5 over his dead body. With my very busy schedule I can only accommodate so many requests. I know it's a burden, but you will simply have to wait your turn."
Londo to Zack Allen, Epiphanies

"I'm delirious with joy. It proves that if you confront the universe with good intentions in your heart, it will reflect that and reward your intent. Usually. It just doesn't always do it in the way you expect."
G'Kar, Epiphanies

"I want you to know that I object to this, Captain. Ms. Alexander has no business being here. She's a blip. By all right I should arrest her and take back with me."
"You could do that. And I could nail your head to the table, set fire to it, and feed your charred remains to the Pak'ma'ra. But it's an imperfect world and we never get exactly what we want. So get used to it."
"Captain, this is pointless. She is a P-5. If I were really going to try something, she's not powerful enough to block me anyway. You're just embarrassing yourself, and her. Haven't we learned by now to trust each other."
"No. Now, sit."
Alfred Bester and Sheridan, Epiphanies

"Commander! Did you threaten to grab hold of this man by the collar and throw him out an airlock?"
"Yes I did."
"I'm shocked. Shocked and dismayed. I'd remind you that we are short on supplies here. We can't afford to take perfectly good clothing and throw it out into space. Always take the jacket off first, I've told you that before. Sorry, she meant to say: Stripped naked and thrown out an airlock. I apologize for any confusion this may have caused."
Sheridan and Ivanova, The Illusion of Truth

"To celebrate this latest victory against the tyranny of a fanatical few who have endangered the lives of our citizens, Clarke proclaimed today a planetary holiday. Curfew has been extended two full hours until 9 PM Earth standard time, so go out and enjoy."
ISN broadcast by Alison Higgins, The Illusion of Truth

"Raise your eyes and look at me."
"It's disrespectful."
"I can not have an aide who will not look up. You will be forever walking into things."
Dukhat and Delenn, Atonement

"Everyone's entitled to a fresh start."
"You're even willing to forget about the business--"
"Yes, even though it did make Mr. Garibaldi's hair fall out. You had no way of knowing what was in thatbottle. That's my story and I'm sticking to it, just in case he asks."
Ivanova and a smuggler, Racing Mars

"Touch passion when it comes your way, Stephen. It's rare enough as it is. Don't walk away when it calls you by name."
Marcus to Franklin, Lines of Communication

"Excuse me, I need to see Draal."
"Oh, Draal is very busy! Have had four ground quakes on other side of planet. Damage to weather control system, to great machine."
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"Zathras work here. Zathras were born here. You work up there, Zathras work down here. You dress like that, Zathras dress like this."
"That's not--"
"Just covering all possibilities. Zathras does not want you being confoosed. Bye."
"Hey! Wait a minute! You are not supposed to be here. We left you a thousand years in the past."
"No! We have never met before. But Zathras very pleased to be meeting you."
"No, we have met."
"No. Oh. No, noo. No no. You did not meet Zathras. You met Zathras."
Ivanova and Zathras, Conflicts of Interest

"No, that was not Zathras, that was Zathras. There are 10 of us, all of family Zathras, each one named Zathras. Slight differences in how you pronounce. Zathraas, Zathras, Zathras.. You are seeing now?"
"There are ten of you?"
"Yes! Well, nine now."
Zathras and Ivanova, Conflicts of Interest

"Everyone always coming to Zathras with problems. Great responsibilities. But Zathras does not mind. Zathras trained in crisis management."
"That's great, lets--"
"But only Zathras have no-one to talk to. No-one manages poor Zathras, you see. So Zathras talks to dirt. Sometimes talks to walls, or talks to ceilings. But dirt is closer. Dirt is used, through everyone walking on it. Just like Zathras, but we've come to like it. It is our role. It is our destiny in the universe. So, you see, sometimes dirt has insects in it. And Zathras likes insects. Not so good for conversation, but much protein for diet. Ha! Zathras fix now, this way."
Zathras and Ivanova, Conflicts of Interest

"Yes, we've disagreed, even fought, but I would rather have someone who oppose me out of an honest belief in the rightness of his cause than someone who is always on my side because it was expected and required. I question your judgement and wisdom, your temperament, but never your loyalty." "Was that a compliment?"
"After a fashion."
"Then you trust me?"
"After a fashion."
Delenn and Neroon, Rumors, Bargains and Lies

"If I had told her the whole truth, it would've destroyed her belief in the strength and the wisdom of our caste. Delenn does not walk in the same world you and I walk in. She does not see the same world you and I see. In her world we are better than we are, we care more than we care. We act towards each other with compassion. I much prefer her world to that of my own, and I will not allow anything to threaten that."
Lennier, Rumors, Bargains and Lies

"And.. Well, there's just no delicate way to say this. I want your body." "What! Are you out of your mind?"
"Heh, that's a very funny question to ask a telepath, .. since we spend so much of our time in other peoples' minds. I don't want it now, Lyta, just when you are not .. using it anymore, after .. your passing."
Bester and Lyta Alexander, Moments of Transition

Captain's personal log, September 2nd, 2261. Enough is enough.
Sheridan, No Surrender, No Retreat

"So from now on I guess the operational phrase is 'Trust no-one.'"
"No. Trust Ivanova, trust yourself, anybody else: shoot them."
Corwin and Ivanova, No Surrender, No Retreat

"You may not believe this, G'Kar, but all I ever wanted is what is right for my world. I'm a patriot, as you are. I have made some .. very poor choices in the last two years. Because I did not think, those choices almost destroyed my world, and yours. That is a humbling realization, G'Kar. If for the single wrong word I can become the enemy, do I any longer really understand who the enemy is?"
Londo, No Surrender, No Retreat

"Because while I do not know who the enemy is any longer, I do know who my friends are, and that I have not done as well by them as I should. I hope to change that. I hope to do better."
Londo, No Surrender, No Retreat

"Mars. I can't believe I'm back on Mars. Three times before this place almost killed me. I swore I'd never give it another chance to finish the job. Humans have got no business being here. No business at all."
Garibaldi's Log, The Exercise of Vital Powers

"Mars. Three times before this place almost killed me. And now I have finally finished the job. I can't feel anything anymore. I don't know what I care about anymore, except Lise. I screwed up both our lives pretty good. Now I get to make up for it. Assuming any of us can ever make up for anything we have done in the past. Maybe we can't, maybe we just have to live with it and get on with it, and do what we have to, never what we want to. It has to be done. I hope you can see that one day."
Garibaldi, The Exercise of Vital Powers

"By nature Mr. Garibaldi is rebellious, stubborn, and suspicious. He has an innate distrust to the authority figures. And he is very good at figuring out when conspiracies are taking place and tracking it back to its source. We need that part of him, so I don't wanna risk tampering with him."
Bester, The Face of the Enemy

"There is nothing to be gained by trying to harm me, I am not the enemy. To be the enemy, I must have some personal stake in what happens to you. I am not interested in that at all. I'm here to do a job, nothing more. You are a name, a file, and a case number, that's all."
Interrogator to Sheridan, Intersections in Real Time

"It does prove though how everything is a matter of perspective. You see what you think is daylight, and you assume it's morning. Take it away, you think it's night. Offer you a sandwich, if it's convenient, you'll think it's mid-day. The truth is fluid, the truth is subjective."
Interrogator to Sheridan, Intersections in Real Time

"This is the White Star Fleet. Negative on surrender...we will not stand down."
"Who is this? Identify yourself."
"Who am I? I am Susan Ivanova, Commander, daughter of Andrei and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance, and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth ... I am Death incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
White Star opens fire on Earthforce fleet
Ivanova and Earthforce Advanced Destroyer Captain James, Between the Darkness and the Light

"Engineering, this is General Lefcourt. In case you didn't notice, the enemy just pulled our shorts up over our head and tied them into a knot. You will get the ship under control ASAP, or I will come down there and skin the hide off every last one of you."
General Lefcourt, Endgame

"You're late!"
"No, no, no, you're early."
"I'm never premature."
"Oh, well, that is a surprise, given what I've heard. I'm sure it's a matter of perspective, really. But for a Narn, two minutes must be a long time, so if you go the duration, it's an accomplishment. But for the Centauri, hours can go by before you even get to the good parts."
G'Kar and Londo, Rising Star

"The &^%$@ of it is that you probably did the right thing. But you did it in the wrong way. In the inconvenient way. Now you have to pay the penalty for that. I know it stinks, but that's the way it is."
President Susanna Luchenko to Sheridan, Rising Star

"So, how does it feel to make history?"
"You do not make history. You can only hope to survive it."
Londo and G'Kar, Rising Star

"It was the end of the Earth year 2261 and it was the dawn of a new age for all of us. It was the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. The next 20 years would see great changes, great joy and great sorrow. The telepath war. The Drakh war. The New Alliance would waver and crack, but in the end it will hold, because what is built endures, and what is loved endures. And Babylon 5, ... Babylon 5 endures."
Delenn, Season 4 Epilogue, Rising Star

"So, Doctor, who died?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Among my people this is how we celebrate state funerals. Our marriage ceremonies are solemn, sober, moments of reflection, also regret, disagreement, argument and mutual recrimination. Once you know it can't get any worse you can relax and enjoy the marriage. But to start with something like this.. No, it is a very bad sign for the future."
Londo and Franklin, The Deconstruction of Falling Stars

"Faith sustains us in the hour when reason tells us that we can not continue, that the whole of our whole lives is without meaning."
Brother Alwyn Macomber, The Deconstruction of Falling Stars

"Dedicated to all the people who predicted that the Babylon Project would fail in its mission. Faith manages."
Dedication in, The Deconstruction of Falling Stars

"It is said that the future is always born in pain. The history of war is the history of pain. If we are wise, what is born of that pain matures into the promise of a better world, because we learn that we can no longer afford the mistakes of the past."
G'Kar, In the Beginning

"And so it begins."
"There is a hole in your mind."
"What do you want?"
"No one here is exactly what he appears."
"Nothing's the same anymore."
"Commander Sinclair .. is being reassigned."
"Why don't you eliminate the entire Narn homeworld while you're at it?"
"I see a great hand reaching out of the stars."
"Who are you?"
"President Clark has signed a decree today declaring martial law."
"These orders have forced us to declare independence."
"Weapons supplies."
"Unless your people get off their encounter-suited butts and do something."
"You're the one who was."
"If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die."
"Why are you here?"
"Do you have anything worth living for?"
"I think of my beautiful city in flames."
"Like giants in a playground."
"Get the hell out of our galaxy!"
"We are here to place president Clark under arrest."
Babylon 5 Main Cast, Season 5 Opening in, No Compromises

"I'm sorry, but I'm--"
"Working. Yes, I can see. Books, manuals, directives, regulations, the geometries that circumscribe your awaken life, drawn narrower and narrower until nothing fits inside them anymore. My name is Byron."
Captain Elizabeth Lochley and Byron, No Compromises

"Well, Mr. Garibaldi says it's very well written."
"Well, I .. I'm sorry, there's just the one copy for now, and well .. when I loaned it to Mr. Garibaldi, it came back with coffee stains. I can't--"
Sheridan and G'Kar, No Compromises

"On my world, we have learned that an inauguration is simply a signal to assassins that a new target has been set up on the firing range."
Londo, No Compromises

"Whoever speaks for the Alliance speaks with one voice for many. Consequently, this contains the first page of every holy book of every race that has joined the new Alliance. Whoever speaks for the Alliance does so with the understanding that it is the inalienable right of every sentient being to live free, to pursue their dreams, to address wrongs within their own society without fear of retribution, to believe as their conscience requires in matters of faith, but also to respect the rights of others to believe differently, or not at all. Do you, John J. Sheridan--"
G'Kar, No Compromises

"I don't believe this. What is it with this place? I mean, last week someone tries to assassinate Sheridan, and now someone tries to poison Londo. My God! What is wrong with you p
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
Authentic Strolenite ®©

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Babylon 5 Part II
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2005, 07:23:53 PM »
All thanks to J. Michael Straczynski, creator/writer/producer of the television show Babylon 5 and writer of almost all of these quotations. Additional thanks to aarondf@bu.edu for compiling them.

Part I

"We create the meaning in our lives. It does not exist independently. Being Anla-shok does not mean worrying about what others will think about us. It does not mean deciding what to do based upon whether or not it serves our sense of ego or destiny. It means living each moment as if it were your last one. It means doing each right thing because it is the right thing. The scale doesn't matter. The where, the when, the how, or in what cause .. none of those things matter. In my life, I've discovered very few truths. Here is the greatest truth I know: Your death, Rastenn, will have a meaning if it comes while you're in fullest pursuit of your heart."
Sech Turval, Learning Curve

"As Anla-shok, we choose to do that which frightens us, knowing that there are no guarantees. He may lose. We cannot help him."
"Then he will stand alone."
"At the end, Captain, .. we all stand alone."
Delenn and Lochley, Learning Curve

"The willow is deceptively strong. It bends, but it does not break. Its roots are deep and can withstand the worst storm. It promises rest, and shade, and cool breezes to those who would find rest beneath it. You have become my willow. and we have all found shelter in your kindness."
Byron to Lyta, Strange Relations

"Not bad. Tell me, is that really telekinesis, or are you just pushing the nerve endings, making them feel as if they've been slapped? Either way, it's taken a lot out of you, Lyta. You're sweating, flushed. How many times can you do that, Lyta? Can you do just one at a time? Maybe two? How about three? How about a half dozen of us?"
"I don't know. Like you said, I'm new at this. I could even make a mistake. Maybe even pop a blood vessel in someone's head by accident by pushing too hard. Feel like playing the odds, Mr. Bester?"
Bester and Lyta, Strange Relations

"I could hide you."
"I believe you could. I believe you would protect me until the stars themselves went cold and dead, but my people need me, and I must go to them."
Lyta and Byron, Strange Relations

"I want the aisle seat."
"Oh, no, no, no. You sit on the inside. I want the aisle."
"If you sit on the aisle, I cannot protect you."
"But .. I don't like the inside. It's too cramped. I become nauseous."
"I'll make sure they have a supply of space sickness bags."
G'Kar and Londo, Strange Relations

"And we will all come together in a better place, a better place than this"
"My love will guide you, my love will hold you,"
"And my love will show you the way."
"There will come a tomorrow where we're free from our sorrows,"
"And our love will show us the way."
"We are strong in each other, we're sister and brother,"
"And we will all come together in a better place, a better place than this."
"My love will guide you, my love will hold you,"
"And my love will show you the way."
"There will come a tomorrow where we're free from our sorrows,"
"And our love will show us the way."

Song sung by Byron's Telepaths, Strange Relations

"I care what happens to you, Lyta."
"Yeah, well, maybe that's true. But talk is cheap, Zack. Byron is putting his life on the line to create something for his people. And I'm one of them. He's given us back a sense of dignity and community. I'm proud of that, and I'm proud of him."
Zack and Lyta, Secrets of the Soul

"Byron, the Vorlons changed me. More than you could possibly know. I don't know what it'll do once you get past my barriers and I get past yours. It could burn you."
"Then let it burn."
Lyta and Byron, Secrets of the Soul

"He's hosting a cocktail party for, uh .. Rebo and Zooty. Now, later tonight, we are having dinner with them."
"Rebo and Zooty are here? Zoot zoot? This is truly a day of wonders."
Delenn and Lennier, Day of the Dead

"G'Kar, as you can see, I'm rather busy, but I believe you know Ambassador Kullenbrak. He's here to--"
"I know! That is why I came. I strongly advise you against this transaction. It is dangerous and foolish and unwise."
"Religious toleration is foolish?"
"This is not a matter of toleration. You do not know what you are doing."
"The declaration of principles of the alliance .. You are familiar with it, I trust?"
"I wrote it!"
"It states that religious belief shall be sacrosanct."
Lochley and G'Kar, Day of the Dead

"So .. When you were emperor, it meant something. Subduer of the Xon and the Shoggren. .. Now .. Ptttp! Anyone can be emperor. I can be emperor. Vir can be emperor. If Vir can be emperor, a small earth cat can be emperor. .. Come on. Talk to me. It's the day of the dead."
Londo, Day of the Dead

"I thought you'd be pleased to see me."
"But I .. I thought you were dead."
"Ah. You know, the reports of my death, they weren't even exaggerated a little bit. Yeah, I'm .. I'm dead. But, you know, I missed you, and how often do dead people get second chances?"
Dodger and Garibaldi, Day of the Dead

"No. We say serious things in a funny way, but when the joke comes, people stop listening. The real comedy all happens in the senate. They do .. they do one idiotic thing after another, but people listen because they say it seriously. I don't know whether we're leaving comedy to go into clown school, but all I do know is that, uh .. comedians don't matter."
"Well, if you don't matter, nothing matters. I mean, the only reason politics exist is to ensure that people have the freedom to laugh."
Rebo and Sheridan, Day of the Dead

"It's bad luck to die on empty stomach."
G'Kar to Londo, In the Kingdom of the Blind

"How do we avoid being noticed?"
"We don't. We do everything we can to be noticed. And thus become invisible."
"I do not understand."
"The royal court has been trained not to see what is inappropriate."
Na'Toth and Londo, A Tragedy of Telepaths

"We should expect some losses on their side, but let's try to keep it within acceptable limits. The Corps is mother, the Corps is father -- in that way these are our children that've gone astray. We have to at least try to bring them in alive so that we can correct their thinking."
Bester, Phoenix Rising

"Didn't have to end like this."
"It still doesn't."
"Yes it does. We can't go back now. There's too much blood. We are no longer who we were. We are what we have become, what you [Bester] made us!"
Byron and Sheridan, Phoenix Rising

"Where is my book? It is my only copy!"
"Yes, that is precisely the point. The Kha'Ri felt that if anything happened to you, the book of G'Kar would never see the light of day, so they .. liberated it."
"Liberated it?"
"We took it home. Those that read it were very moved by it and they made some copies."
"Just a few, .. for their friends. A few more, .. later few more copies."
"How many?!"
"That's hard to say, exactly. There was some confusion when it went to the printers."
"Printers?! I've only been gone for a month, Ta'Lon, there can't be that many copies floating around this quickly. How many?"
"Five or six .. hundred .. thousand."
"I've been told that it will out-sold the book of G'Quan. .. Congratulations, citizen G'Kar. You are now a religious icon."
G'Kar and Ta'Lon, The Ragged Edge

"All my life .. I have been responsible only for myself. When I risk, I risked alone to avoid making others pay the price for my mistakes. They want me to chose them another way. What if I show then the wrong way? What if they come to me not because of the lesson but because of the teacher? I worry, Ta'Lon, that my shadow may become greater than the message."
"If that happens, I give you my word that I will personally kill you."
"This is supposed to put my mind at ease?"
"I'm a warrior. It's what I have to give. You and I both have our burdens to bear, G'Kar. I will carry mine, .. if you will carry yours."

G'Kar and Ta'Lon, The Ragged Edge

"In the past we had little to do with other races. Evolution teaches us that we must fight that which is different in order secure land, food, and mates for ourselves, but we must reach a point when the nobility of intellect asserts itself and says: No. We need not be afraid of those we are different, we can embrace that difference and learn from it."
G'Kar, The Ragged Edge

"Besides, we don't often see a sense of humor in Psi-Cops."
"Reports of our depression are vastly exaggerated."
Lauren Ashley and Bester, The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father

"Do you get used to it?"
"When it's one of ours, no. With mundanes it's easier. They hate it when you say that, but it's true. They kill and slave and abuse each other with efficiency and enthusiasm. Why should we value their lives when they don't? It's a little harder with rogues and blibs. Being a telepath means you're special, and rare, and valuable."
Lauren Ashley and Bester, The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father

"Don't you ever go away? Haven't you caused enough trouble for one lifetime?"
"It's a pleasure to see you too, Mr. Allan. Where can I find captain Lochley? I should check in with her."
"She's busy, you can check in with me. Card. So what is it this time, Mr. Bester? Hunting out freedom-fighters, pulling wings off flies, annexing Sudetenland."
Zack and Bester, The Corps is Mother, the Corps is Father

"As a friend he would need to protect you. As my husband he would need to protect me from anything that might happen to you."
"I think, in that respect, he does not know you as well as he should."
"He knows me, but he also loves me. And sometimes the one gets in the way of the other."
"Yes, I .. imagine it could do that."
Delenn and Lennier, Meditations on the Aby

"I've been told each world's internal affairs are considered private. And this is as internal an affair I can think of."
"Oh, and you mentioned wondering what my pleasure threshold is. I just recently found out. .. I don't have one. Have a very, very nice day, G'Kar."
Lyta to G'Kar, Darkness Ascending

"What does the candle represent?"
"Whose life?"
"All life, every life. We're all born as molecules in the hearts of a billion stars, molecules that do not understand politics, policies and differences. In a billion years we, foolish molecules forget who we are and where we came from. Desperate acts of ego. We give ourselves names, fight over lines on maps. And pretend our light is better than everyone else's. The flame reminds us of the piece of those stars that live inside us. A spark that tells us: you should know better. The flame also reminds us that life is precious, as each flame is unique. When it goes out, it's gone forever. And there will never be another quite like it. So many candles will go out tonight. I wonder some days if we can see anything at all."
Sheridan and Delenn, And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder

"Something's bothering you. What is it?"
"I need to ask you to do something I don't want to ask you to do."
"If it's about me wearing those little-- I appreciate the gift and I didn't say I wouldn't wear them, I just said that .. for me, from a Minbari perspective, I thought that it looked silly."
"No, it's not anything to do with that."
"[Sigh] Business then?"
Delenn and Sheridan, Movements of Fire and Shadow

"I have been many things in my life, Mollari. I have been silly. I have been quiet when I should have spoken. I have been foolish. And I have wasted far too much time. But I am still Centauri .. and I am not afraid."
Regent to Londo, The Fall of Centauri Prime

"Mollari .. understand .. that I can never forgive your people for what they did to my world. My people can never forgive your people. But I .. can forgive .. you."
G'Kar to Londo, The Fall of Centauri Prime

"What .. part of my message did you get? We've been having trouble with the com system, see, and--"
"The most important part. The part that said: 'I need you.'"
"And you came here just on that?"
"What more is there?"
Garibaldi and Lise, The Wheel of Fire

Well, then you may as well give up, because nobody gets it 100% right."
"I just want to give you a normal life."
"There is no 'normal life', Michael. There's just life."
Lise and Garibaldi, The Wheel of Fire

"It's ironic. Heh. You have to leave because everybody wants you. They're fighting over you. And I have to leave because nobody wants me."
"And yet we are the same in many ways. We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile, and nothing can grow there. Too much, the best of us is washed away. My rains have come and gone .. for now. Yours are just beginning."
Lyta and G'Kar, Objects in Motion

"I believe that when we leave a place, part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Go anywhere in the station, when it is quiet, and just listen. After a while, you will hear the echoes of all our conversations, every thought and word we've exchanged. Long after we are gone .. our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains. But I will admit .. that the part of me that is going .. will very much miss the part of you that is staying."
G'Kar to Sheridan, Objects in Motion

"Greetings, Ta'Lon. I'm leaving this message for you because it appears I must leave Babylon 5 sooner than I had intended. I would have preferred to say this in person, but since I cannot, let me say it here. Now that I am gone, someone else must speak for our people. I would like for that person .. to be you. Knowing you as I do, Ta'Lon, I'm sure you're wondering, why you?"
"To say the least.
"Why should you be asked to take on the responsibility of speaking for our people? Why you might accept it is for you to decide. I can only tell you why I've offered it. I believe there is a time for enlightenment and a time for things to get done. I have become a distraction for our people. They require patience, direction, determination, and strength. I have provided a little of the first two. Now, you must provide the rest. You have always been sensible and level-headed. A rock that will never shift or break beneath the demands of our people. And you have been my friend. In my absence, we will need someone to focus on helping our world rebuild and strengthening ties with the Alliance. In order to serve our people here and at home, one must be both priest and warrior in equal measure. In recent months, I have become more priest than warrior. Perhaps, now it is time for someone who is more warrior than priest. You may believe you are not ready, but you are as ready as I was when I first came to Babylon 5. Check the records, I think you'll be amused. When this message has finished, a copy will automatically be sent to Sheridan and the others. They will receive you as they would receive me. Good luck, Ta'Lon. Serve our people .. reasonably, fairly, and with honor. The rest will attend to itself."
G'Kar, recorded for Ta'Lon, Objects at Rest

Singing? They can sing?"
"There's nothing about that in the literature."
"Apparently it's something they only do certain times of the year as part of their religious ceremonies. You may not believe this, but .. it was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew it was full of sadness and .. hope and wonder and .. terrible .. sense of loss. I looked at Londo and -- this is the amazing part -- there was a .. tear running down his face. I said: 'Londo, we should leave.' And 'This is upsetting you.' He just stood there and .. listened. And when it was over he turned to me and he said: 'There are 49 gods in our pantheon, Vir. To tell you the truth I never believed in any of them. But if only one of them exist, .. then god sings with that voice.' It's funny. After everything we've been through, all he did, .. I miss him."
Sheridan, Franklin and Vir, Sleeping in Light

"Babylon 5 was the last of the Babylon stations. There would never be another. It changed the future .. and it changed us. It taught us that we have to create the future .. or others will do it for us. It showed us that we have care for one another, because if we don't, who will? And that true strength sometimes comes from the most unlikely places. Mostly, though, I think it gave us hope .. that there can always be new beginnings .. even for people like us."
General Susan Ivanova, Sleeping in Light

ZAthras: G'day, ZaTHras.
ZaTHras: How are you, ZAthras?
ZAthras: Fine, ZaTHras. Where's ZathrAs?
ZaTHras: He's not here, ZAthras.
ZAthrAs: Wait. Here's the boss fellow now! ZathrAs! How are you doing?
ZathrAs: Fine. Mates, I've brought a new chap here from Pommieland. Michael, ZAthras, ZAthras, Michael.
Michael, ZaTHras, ZaTHras, Michael. Michael, ZAthrAs, ZAthrAs, Michael. Michael's going to be joining us here, working on the great machine. ZAthras, ZaTHras, and ZAthrAs: G'Day!
Michael: Hello.
ZAthras: Is your name not Zathras?
Michael: No, it's Michael.
ZAthrAs: That's going to cause a little confusion.
ZaTHras: Mind if we call you ZathraS to keep things clear?
Babylon 5/Monty Python parody
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
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Offline Andimia

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Spear and Magic Helmet!?
« Reply #24 on: February 09, 2006, 12:55:05 AM »
The best cartoon moment ever in history! dosen't have the same effect when it's typed out though.

Bugs Bunny - Oh mighty warrior of great fighting stock, might I enquire to ask, Eh, what's up doc
Elmer Fudd - I'm going to kill the wabbit!
Bugs Bunny - Oh mighty hunter 'twill be quite a task, How will you do it might I inquire to ask
Elmer Fudd - I will do it with my spear and magic helmet!
Bugs Bunny - Your spear and magic helmet?
Elmer Fudd - spear and magic helmet!
Bugs Bunny - Magic helmet?!
Elmer Fudd - MAGIC HELMET!
Bugs Bunny - magic helmet....
Elmer Fudd - Yess! ma-gic hel-met, and i'll give you a sam-ple!
*lightning strikes tree next to bugs*
Bugs BUnny - Byee

If a woman can do it better, then by all means let her