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Offline Ancient Gamer

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« on: December 16, 2004, 09:50:27 AM »
I am wondering how you guys handle the pressure concerning recruitment and group membership.

For a long time now, I have been trying to please everyone and have run 2 different groups as a result. I have not any more time to spare, so I am not prepared to open yet another group.

Problems arise when I have to let someone go, or when someone isn't allowed membership within my groups. It seems that people view participation on my sessions as a God-given right and subsequently go ballistic when I say no or cancel their membership.

I am tired of getting hostile reactions because people get hurt, and thought I could ask the good crowd at the citadel:
Do you have any advice or methods concerning this? Are there efficient ways of saying no or goodbye, that people will acknowledge without throwing a tantrum?
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Offline Cheka Man

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« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2004, 05:03:02 PM »
I would say, only invite those who you know,like and trust.Keep your games semi-secret.

Offline Strolen

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« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2004, 05:19:39 PM »
It is like firing somebody from a job that they love. Adverse reactions to that will vary depending on the maturity of the player. Nobody likes being told they can't play a favorite game.

You are only one person though so perhaps just give them the opportunity of being a back-up in case somebody else can't make it.

Or, if you like these people and it pains you as much as them, have a rotating game that changes every couple months.

The semi-secret, while sounding good initially, will only cause more trouble in the future *when* the other rejected players find out about it...and they will. Then you have to explain everything on top of the sense of betrayal.

The situation sucks and, while I am not currently playing but had this problem before, would be nice if somebody had a fix all solution that could be used in the future...But I doubt there is one.

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Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2004, 06:18:23 PM »
I have never had this problem before. I have the misfortune of having only friends as players, and thus, I can't, in good conscience, reject any of them, nor would it be good practice, because I would then be without players!
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Offline Ancient Gamer

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« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2004, 12:00:36 AM »
Oh, I play with friends too. But often these friends introduce less than desirable elements as players, friends of my friends who does not really make great roleplayers. And then what do you do? If you tell the newcomers to leave, you insult BOTH the newcomer AND your long time friend. If you let them stay, they wreck you GMing efforts.

And when friends want to introduce new players, or friends want to return to your gaming group after a 10 year absence. They always get mad when they hear that 'no, I have too many players already'.

I already rotate groups, and quite frankly I think my current players get too little playing time already.

One last tip:
If a player approach you with his new found love, and he wants to include her with the group, think VERY carefully:
1. Chances are that she does not at all care about roleplaying and just want to control what her boyfriend does. (been there, done that).
2. Chances are that her ideas concerning roleplaying does not match yours. When she suddenly demands to have a Dungeons and Dragons character in the middle of a Call of Cthulhu adventure, don't be surprised. (been there, done that).

Oh I have a dragons hoard of absurd examples, suffice to say that it is going to be near impossible to get rid of such a player, without causing severe strains on your friendship with her boyfriend.
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Offline Strolen

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« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2004, 12:20:25 AM »
LOL....newfound loves. We had one of those but then they got married so everything was well justified in our eyes. She was great and tried her best but then we had to play with another psycho because the precedent was set and she was a terror.

Have you ever known somebody with such rage at what happen to their character that they took the character sheet into the bathroom sink and burned it?  This isn't to be funny, this was pure hatred. That was scary!

So I think, overall, I will agree with that tip!

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Offline Strolen

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« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2004, 12:30:13 AM »
Brought back a wave of memories. I was a novice player and I wanted to run a midlevel game with lots of magical weapons just to have a fun time and try some of the weapons I had been creating. Well, I was expecting 5 and I think 8 or 9 showed up. I am a pushover so I tried it and while some of the game was fun and everybody gave me nice feedback, I KNOW that most of them were bored for most of the night. I wasn't ready or able to handle that many people.

There is a sweet spot for each DM and moving out of that is never good, especially if you have no want to do it. It is suppose to be fun on both sides of the table, if the DM isn't having fun then it will greatly hinder the rest and nobody will be happy with that I doubt.

Wonder if you could inspire one of your players to create their own campaign and give it a try with all those that don't fit into your game? I doubt anybody would want to leave your game though, but if they did it on a different night or something....

We had two seperate groups, each group had multiple DMs that would just take turns and a few players went back and forth. Wonder if another group that does not involve you could sprout with a player that has DM aspirations and the time to do it.

They could still get their gaming fix, just not with you. Rambling? yes. STOP

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Authentic Strolenite™©® | Llama is as Llama does.