llamaenterhear
Username: Password:

Author Topic: Dragons Honour: How not to start a game  (Read 2034 times)

0 Members and 1 Lonely Barbarian are spying on this topic.

Offline Tidus

  • Apprentice
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« on: November 28, 2004, 09:11:47 PM »
PROLOUGE: The Hucnar alliance had taken control of Sutherland with their conquest which took 239 years.

The Sutherland Conquest had just been completed, and with the help of the Legion of Darkness, the Hucnar alliences had provailed. The lands of Sutherland were now theirs, except one large continent, owned by the Winder. This continent, was protected with the orb of the Gods: Shi, Fure and Juiliki protect the lands and have done so for the past 60 thousand years. No one could enter the lands. The officials of the Hucnar alliance were becoming furious with the slow, but harmful recaptures of land by the Winders Imperial Guards, Chaos Legion.

(It's a START)

Characters:
               Syriean: The King of Winder, brother of the rouge knight of Guhay.
               Darn: Father of the infamous queen of Soraa.
               Writh: Queen of Soraa.
               Joesiph: High Commander of the Legion of Darkness.
               Jewas: Dragon King of Kandabar.
               Berail: Draogn King of High Land Provience.
               Deio: Dragon Queen of Secca.

(It's a START)
out of the ashes of war, heros have risin, only to renew the flames.

Offline Tidus

  • Apprentice
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2004, 09:40:39 PM »
(More Characters)

Guhay: Rouge Knight of Thundalas.
Huyart: King of Rambadon, brother of Woi.
Woi: King of Wase.

(It's a START)
out of the ashes of war, heros have risin, only to renew the flames.

Offline MoonHunter

  • Waunderer
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3517
  • Awards Questor Article Guild Systems Guild Society Guild Locations Guild Item Guild
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2004, 08:13:07 AM »
Well, this is better than your old thread, but only by a touch.  An encyclepedia of names does little to expand the information presented.  How about some background history, a feel for the world, some relationships between these people.  This is as useful as

Lord of the Rings
Its about some Heroes and an Evil Lord. The Heroes work together, than have to break apart. All to bring the Evil Lord to an end.

Gandalf: Wizard
Aragorn: Ranger, ex prince
Frodo: Hobbit, Ring carrier
Sam: His valet
Sauron: Evil Bad guy
Saruman: Wizard and evil bad guy lackey
Legolas: Elf Companion
Gimli: Dwarf Companion

Do you see how well this explains things?  You need to give us more before we can do much with this....

If you has specific questions you need help on, or things you need us to work on, you need to give us enough information so we can do it, then direct us as to what you are looking for.  Without this, the thread will just die.
MoonHunter
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
Authentic Strolenite ®©

Offline Tidus

  • Apprentice
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2004, 05:53:53 PM »
i did it at school and didnt really know what i wrote at home, ill post it again and try to explain what the whole concept is about...
out of the ashes of war, heros have risin, only to renew the flames.

Offline MoonHunter

  • Waunderer
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3517
  • Awards Questor Article Guild Systems Guild Society Guild Locations Guild Item Guild
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2004, 09:27:00 AM »
Tidas: One more thing. You don't have to add a new thread, just put the new information in this one. That way, people will have an idea of what you are talking about. So rather than ignoring your new thread, they might pay attention.

Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought. Just a thought.
MoonHunter
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
Authentic Strolenite ®©

Offline Tidus

  • Apprentice
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2004, 05:38:36 PM »
your not very nice are you. okay, i may repeat myself, and i am not a good story writer, but be nice, friendly and caring, dont accuse. thats what life is really about. death is a sure comming and it will crep out from the shadows and take you. so enjoy life to the fullest, dont destroy others......
out of the ashes of war, heros have risin, only to renew the flames.

Offline CaptainPenguin

  • Bastardo!
  • Squirrel Strolenati
  • Emperor
  • *
  • Posts: 5869
  • Awards Questor Hall of Heroes 10
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2004, 09:27:13 PM »
We aren't accusing.
We're trying to get you to write something instead of listing characters that we know nothing about.
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Currently Listening To: "Piece Of Time" by Atheist

Offline Ancient Gamer

  • Hammer of the Citadel
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3900
  • Enough about you, let's talk about me!
  • Awards 2013 Best Play By Post Game Elite Systems Guild Elite Plot Guild Golden Creator Elite Item Guild Hall of Heroes 10
    • Coldforged Home
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #7 on: December 01, 2004, 09:43:11 PM »
Quote from: "Tidus"
your not very nice are you. okay, i may repeat myself, and i am not a good story writer, but be nice, friendly and caring, dont accuse. thats what life is really about. death is a sure comming and it will crep out from the shadows and take you. so enjoy life to the fullest, dont destroy others......


Errr... That bit about death. You might want to delete that.

After half a year on this site (and 1-2 years as anonymous before that), I have read hundreds of MoonHunter's feedback. If there is one certainty, it is this: MoonHunter is never rude and always tries to be helpful.

He might be hard in his criticism, but never to hurt. And there are far sharper tongues on this site! (Most often rightfully so, too)

MoonHunter is trying to help you Tidus, and help from MoonHunter is about as professional as RPG help gets. I really expected a "thank you" from you and was really surprised by your reaction! I suggest that you put a "NO HELP, PLEASE" text in your signature if you don't want feedback.

I'll even help you too:

Currently your plot reminds me of the way an anchorman presents the evening news:
"The conquest of Iraq is now over! The United States and their staunch allies Great Britain won the 239 days long war, now sports!"

Try to make it read like a novel instead. Make it flow and easy on the eyes. Play with words until you discover a phrase, a sentence or a paragraph you like.

We all understand that you have to begin somewhere, but we are trying to make that beginning even better.
Authentic Strolenite™©®

"Secretly a Squirrel"
Guild Master of the Squirrelati
Scourge of Nutanuns!
Harbinger of Acorns!


Offline MoonHunter

  • Waunderer
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3517
  • Awards Questor Article Guild Systems Guild Society Guild Locations Guild Item Guild
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2004, 08:56:00 AM »
If you have having issues writing, or doing the story telling aspect of gaming, then I have some links for you that might be useful.  Gamers tell stories (of all sorts). GMs create settings, like writers. GMs plot adventures/stories, like writers. Gamers use great turns of phrases, like writers. Gamers use descriptive language, like writers. Much of the original "gaming advice" generated in our hobby was based upon what writers did, as they were doing it first and for much longer. Now there are writers that are gamers, and gamers that are writers.

Even if you never put word to paper, learning some of the tricks of the writer's trade can VASTLY improve your gaming style.

http://www.writing.com/
http://www.fanfiction.net/
http://www.writecraftweb.com/
http://www.abctales.com
http://www.ewritersplace.com/
http://www.fictionfactor.com/
http://writersdigest.com
http://www.fictionette.com/
http://www.ralan.com/ Specialized in scifi/fantasy
http://www.spicygreeniguana.com Sci-Fi, Horror, Fantasy
http://sfwa.org

Now, if you are a GM, you should look into script writing, as script writers are used to telling stories in a mode much closer to gaming that a novelist.

http://wordplayer.com
http://writemovies.com

The Book: Story: Substance, Structure, Style and The Principles of Screenwriting by Robert McKee is a real eye opener.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060391685/002-1908185-9172859?vi=glance

And remember, in the words of HARLAN ELLISON, "Put everything down on paper, you can edit the crap out later."

_________________
MoonHunter
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
Authentic Strolenite ®©

Offline Tidus

  • Apprentice
  • *
  • Posts: 16
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2004, 05:45:09 PM »
sorry. i was in a bad mood and didnt want any (****) i dont wanna swear because i am not a bad person. as i said, i did it at school and didnt know what i was on about... its all at home and im gonna write it up on the weekend...thankfully school is now nearing its end...... till then, seya....
out of the ashes of war, heros have risin, only to renew the flames.

Offline MoonHunter

  • Waunderer
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3517
  • Awards Questor Article Guild Systems Guild Society Guild Locations Guild Item Guild
    • Awards
Tidus
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2004, 11:08:03 AM »
It is okay.  I am putting some more information here, not because you specifically need it, but it goes with my previous post here.

Here is a great list of books on writing:

Story by Robert McKee.
How to Tell a Story, by Peter Rubie & Gary Provost.
Characters & Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card.
Plot by Anson Dibell.
Beginnings, Middles & Ends, by Nancy Kress.
Scene & Structure by Jack M. Bickham.
Conflict, Action & Suspense, by William Noble.
Description by Monica Wood.
Setting by Jack M. Bickham.
The Writers Journey, by Christopher Vogler.
The Craft of Writing Science Fiction That Sells, by Ben Bova.
The Screenwriters Bible, by David Trottier.

These books are all in your local bookstore and are very cheap.
They are also a fast read.

Don't fall into the trap of "I will never read a book that tells you how to write because I don't believe in formulas."
This sentiment is very common among amateur writers that never sell anything.

If you don't learn the tools of the trade, you will fail.

You need to decide just what you want.
Do you just want to have fun writing, or do you want to sell a story?
If you want to sell a story, you need to learn how to tell a story that sells.

I saw Ray Bradbury at the San Diego Comic Con and he said, "Don't write about politics if you want anyone to read your books. No one remembers any political writers from 100 years ago." He also said to write in metaphors.

Here is a link on writing in metaphors:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/hando...l_metaphor.html

If you only want to read a few books, then I'd recommend these from the list above:
1. Story.
2. How to Tell a Story.
3. Conflict, Action & Suspense.
4. The Writer's Journey.
5. The Craft of Writing Science Fiction that Sells.

Here is anther online resource:
http://www.writingclasses.com/

Jimmy Diggs, one of the independent writers for Star Trek, was a parking attendant for Paramount. He met one of the ppl on the show, and he had a few good ideas. The person told him to "go write a script and we'll see." He went to the bookstore and bought the book, "The Screenwriters Bible." He wrote the script, showed it to the guy and they bought it.
Here is more info on Jimmy Diggs:
http://www.photo-synthesis.com/dire.../graphic/jimmy/


So it may not take too much time to learn writing.

Interesting forum.
http://fantasyimperium.com/phpBB2/
MoonHunter
Sage, Gamer, Mystic, Wit
"The road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"The world needs dreamers to give it a soul."
"And it needs realists to keep it alive."
Authentic Strolenite ®©

Offline Ancient Gamer

  • Hammer of the Citadel
  • Emperor
  • ****
  • Posts: 3900
  • Enough about you, let's talk about me!
  • Awards 2013 Best Play By Post Game Elite Systems Guild Elite Plot Guild Golden Creator Elite Item Guild Hall of Heroes 10
    • Coldforged Home
    • Awards
Dragons Honour: How not to start a game
« Reply #11 on: December 07, 2004, 05:40:48 AM »
Quote
I saw Ray Bradbury at the San Diego Comic Con and he said, "Don't write about politics if you want anyone to read your books. No one remembers any political writers from 100 years ago." He also said to write in metaphors.

I am not sure that I agree with Ray about that. Some of the most successful fantasy authors of our day do indeed include a vast amount of politics in their fiction.

Of course it is the more dramatic aspects of politics like assassinations, fragile alliances and treacherous oath-breaking that is most often depicted. I haven't read many fantasy books where politics is a minor issue.

Tolkien himself wrote about politics and the second world war. Of course it was all disguised as the war of the ring so no one really noticed.

Raymond Feist had more direct references to politics in his collaboration project about the Tsuranuanni Empire and in the Riftwar books. But he also centers on the more deadly aspects of politics. (Feist has been reported to be the second best selling fantasy author ever, after Tolkien himself)

If Ray was refering to writing exclusively about politics and the mechanics of, for instance, the senate, then I can appreciate his advice.
Authentic Strolenite™©®

"Secretly a Squirrel"
Guild Master of the Squirrelati
Scourge of Nutanuns!
Harbinger of Acorns!