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Author Topic: The world of Lorrad  (Read 1266 times)

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Offline Maggot

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The world of Lorrad
« on: August 12, 2004, 12:46:58 AM »
In the begining there was the Great Father...

In the begining, the  Great Father created the world of Lorrad and with it, his children, the Ancient ones. It is said in legends that he  was the sole survivor of a race of once mighty divine beings that was wiped out by a mystical plauge,unleashed by their enemies,the Shunned Ones. Fleeing his dead world,he travelled through the cosmos,searching for a refuge,until he came upon a planet entirely covered with water.Though ravaged by the deadly plauge, he realized that with what remained of his power,he could create a world that was as beautiful as the one he had left behind,the one murded by the foul Sunned Ones  who hated life in all it's forms. Out of his flesh he shaped the Ancient Ones, and imparted his divine knowlege. Then,with the life left in his dying body,he plunged toward the planet. His bones and body shattered with the impact and were strewn all over the surface of the planet,becoming the various islands and continents of Lorrad.

   The Ancient Ones mourned the death of their father.Then they begun to create life to populate this empty world. Drawing on the strength given to them by the Great  Father,they shaped the various life forms to inhabit the oceans and the land. The mortal races were created next,each race with their patron god or godess from among the Ancient Ones. And finally,the Elementals were brought into eixstence,to govern the life energy of the land[/U].

  That's all for now.  Stuff I'll be covering soon: The Ancient Ones, the Elementals, and the fall of the Ice. Honest opinins and suggestions are welcome
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Offline CaptainPenguin

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The world of Lorrad
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2004, 01:28:09 AM »
Who was your English teacher? Commas go only at natural pauses in conversation. For instance, there was a comma back there, there, and there. See how I place the comma right at the end of the word, and then I put a space?
Just so you know.

Fairly good, but I would change the names "Terra" and "Dread Lords of Sith". C'mon! You can do better than that, and I know it.
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Offline Maggot

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The world of Lorrad
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2004, 04:51:14 AM »
Point taken,Captain on both counts. The atrocious grammar is probally a sighn that I've been out of school for far too long. And yeah, Dread Lords of Sith and Terra,do sound lame. I'll rename them the Shunned Ones and call my world Lorall. As ever,your suggestions are always welcome.
“I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet, raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak.” -Bill Watterson

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Offline CaptainPenguin

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The world of Lorrad
« Reply #3 on: August 12, 2004, 08:17:03 PM »
Good then. Post more!
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Offline Maggot

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The Phanteon of the Ancient Ones
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2004, 10:16:21 PM »
Ialin, Greatest of the Ancient Ones

 The great god Ialin was the first to be brought into existence by the Great Father. As such,he is regarded as  being the most important and migthiest of the Ancient Ones,by mortal and immortals alike.  He is also venerated for defeating the Dread Serpent Aped ,the hideous fiend of the depths.

 According to the  great epics, the first thing the Ancient Ones did, after they finished mourning for the Great Father ,was to decide to descend to the primitive planet bequethed to them by their creator. Realizing that their combined presence might intimidate any sentinent beings living on this primitive world,they decided to send the least overwhelming of their party,the beautiful Makk, to show the denizens of this world that they meant to help and not harm them. Unbeknownst to them however,the only sentinent being inhabiting the waters,was the monstrous serpent Aped. For millenia, the vain and foolish monster had believed himself the only thinking thing in all the cosmos and his watery relam,the only living world.  

 Thus, it was with great shock  that he saw the Great Father bore down upon his world,and upon dying, transform into islands and continents. Shock soon gave way to awe and he vowed to slay any who decided to follow the Great Father's example and invade his domain.Thus,it was that upon seeing the fair Makk descend,he siezed in his vicious jaws and devoured her. When Mak did not return the other gods grew annoyed,and another ones of the gods was sent to search for her.When he too did not return,the others went to look for them,one by one,until in the end Ialin was the only one left. Realizing that something terrible had befallen his brorthers and sisters he soared down and hovering over what is now called the Dread Sea,he called out in a booming voice'' Oh,guardian of this world,why has thoust ambushed my kin who came in peace? A sinister hiss answered his challenge,and Aped finally revealed himself,his monstrous head rising from the surface, like a mountain  springing from the earth. ''I am Aped'',he hissed,''and by tresspassing on my domain and devouring my waters,they  aroused my wrath. Leave if you have no wish to share their fate''.Ialin knew that for all his great power,this thing coould not be defeated even by him. Thaen,an idea struck him. To the utter astonishment of the monster,instead of fleeing,he swooped into Aped's mouth,travelling all the way down,until he reached it's stomach.There he revived his brothers and sisters,and together they begun to attack the inside of the serpent's belly. Unable to bear the agony,Aped screamed ''Stop!Cease and I will do anyhing you command!'. Hearing this Ialin and the other Ancient Ones flew out through Aped's mouth. Turning to the giant serpent,who now hung his head in defeat,Ialin commanded'' From henceforth,you shall guard the gateway to the netherworld. The souls of the righteous will pass through,but the souls of dead you may devour.''

 Thus it was,that Ialin freed Lorrad from the tyrant serpent Aped. To this day,celebrations are held by every race,commemorating Ialin's victory over the serpent.His priests often re-enact the battle,much to the awe of the spectators. He is othen depicted as a regal man,dressed in rich,jeweled robes,right foot raised over the head of a fallen serpent. It is widely believed that anyone in deep trouble who turns to him for solace,will have their prayers answered.
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Offline Maggot

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Ideas for a sea godess wanted!
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2004, 01:13:20 AM »
What kind of attributes do you think a godedss of oceans would have,everyone?
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Offline CaptainPenguin

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The world of Lorrad
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2004, 02:30:32 PM »
Mercurial, prone to bouts of great anger but also to periods of tranquil benevolence.
Currently Reading: "Kafka On The Shore" by Haruki Murakami

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