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Offline kalabar

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Starting an rpg
« on: February 14, 2004, 01:16:23 PM »
I want to start and rpg but i want to make sure that it will be good enough for people to play in..

                             The dragon lands
OK here i go

There is a village by a mountain.In this village are people that are very conserend that dragons will attack...again.The drgons live in the montain, and people go up but never return.It has now been 2 years and the dragons are getting stronger, and changing into a black color.The village has been calling out for people but haven't got any messages returned....

Well can anyone tell me what i can do to help this rpg...I just came up with the idea..and im not sure if i ever heard of the name before.
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Offline Araith

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« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2004, 01:39:25 PM »
You might want to use a bit more detail...like describe the surroundings, type of village..like all sorts of creatures, or strictly humans, what? Also...it wouldn't hurt to spell check. Also, why would the village be concerned with the dragons if it's only people who go to THEM that never return, now maybe if there were some precious material in the mountains or some reason for the village to CARE about the dragons.
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Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2004, 04:46:00 PM »
It's good to see that you're looking for help. I'll try to drum up some tips...
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Offline sniperspy

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« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2004, 04:51:03 PM »
ok, Kally! let me see what I got!

1-DEFFINATLY take more time with spelling and grammar. Put it in word to spell-check then copy/paste if you need to, but too many mispelled or misplaced words and people get distracted, plus we don't know exactly what you are trying to say half of the time.

2-Again, expanding on Araith: detail, detail, detail. The more people know to start out with, the easier it is for them to create a well-versed character in the new world you are creating. Setting is huge, and also, explanations. (in your mental hospital RP, give more explanation as to how the demon became trapped in the hospital, why people need the information he carries!, etc.)

If I think of anything else Ill get back to you!
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Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2004, 05:07:09 PM »
Also, something I've noticed about some of your RPs:

A. No direction.
B. They just start. There is no set-up, really, nor any sort of guile or nice language.

Basically, you just say "He walks in and says 'Hello'." How does a player start off of that?
You need to have nice language, figuratives, descriptions.
Watch:
Before: "He walks in and says 'Hello'."
After: "The man, arrayed in beautiful noble's garments, swept into the room, filling it with his presence. 'Greetings,' he said, his voice a booming lion's call in the silence of the room."
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Offline Iain

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« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2004, 05:30:45 PM »
Definitely more detail, as people have said. For example, it is a village so it is presumably quite small. You could give some 1 line descriptions of the principal establishments and people in the village, e.g
"The blacksmith's shop is located on the eastern side of the village, two doors down from the tavern. The blacksmith is a middle-aged, thick-set man a little two fond of drink, who manages the shop with the help of his two sons, one of whom is still an apprentice."

It gives the players something to latch on to when they're playing, as well as making the place seem a bit more real. Of course, you might want to make more detailed notes about these places for yourself.

Have a few things for the players to start with so they can give themselves a reason for being there. For example, has the village asked for aid; has the situation become common knowledge or is it OK if your players take villagers themselves as characters?

Detail such as climate, time of year, relationship of this village to the rest of the world (e.g. part of a bigger country or totally isolated), more background on the situation and what it was like more than two years ago, etc. Also, a question: are dragons intelligent/capable of speech/etc. in your setting? Dragons vary a lot between settings so it would be good to explain them.

Last point (and I apologise if you have done this but you asked for general tips):
Have noted down somewhere (for only you to see) a variety of contingency plans for minor events and quirks that aren't directly related to the main plot you've scripted. In other words, if your players decide to go talk to the blacksmith, have some stuff about him you can play off. If they spend the evening in the tavern, maybe have an argument break out. Doesn't necessarily have to be to do with the plot (per se), but means the players will have something to do and their actions/choices will have more real significance.

Hope some of these help.
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Offline Strolen

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Re: Starting an rpg
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2004, 05:44:29 PM »
Quote from: "kalabar"

There is a village by a mountain.In this village are people that are very conserend that dragons will attack...again.The drgons live in the montain, and people go up but never return.It has now been 2 years and the dragons are getting stronger, and changing into a black color.The village has been calling out for people but haven't got any messages returned....


Just some questions to show the kind of small details that could add a lot.
What is the name of the village?
How many people are in it?
Is there any nearby villages that have the same problem?
Do the dragons fly and attack or are the villagers that are silly enough to climb into a dragon cave the only  ones that get eaten?
How do you know the dragons are getting stronger? What kind of signs are there?
Why are they changing black? What kind of significance does that hold?
Village has been calling out for people to do what? Aren't they part of a kingdom? Did they ask the king of their country? How did they ask?

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Offline Magus

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« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2004, 05:46:22 PM »
It would be good if each dragon had an elemental weakness, or a puzzle that the players would have to solve to beat. WAKKA! That way, you could make a relatively simple and unoriginal plot, unique and interesting. well there is my two cents worth.
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Offline kalabar

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Revised Copy
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2004, 08:30:29 PM »
There is a village on the eastern side of the world.This villages is surrounded by wilderness, with only one lake that the drgons gaurd. ((I still havn't got a name for it yet))This village is being attacked by dragons. Fors the past two years the dragons have taken people from the village, and ate them. As the dragons bit into the humans you hear the screams of agony. When they first started attacking the village, the dragons where of a whiteish green color. After a couple months of eating people, they started to grow a redish blue color. In the last year they have changed into a black color. The village has called out to neave by villages, and villages the are far away. Some people could not wait for the, others to get to the village, so they started to climb up to the mountain. All of the people that went up has not been seen yet. Rumors are going around that the dragons have been burning the people alive.

Time:It is now 1658.In the world of Clyeara

Discription of village. There used to be 300 people that lived there, but now there is only 100. More than half the people have either been eaten, or burned to death.

History of village: This small village was so peaceful, and calm that people would come from all over the world, to just be there for a day.

Name: Kalabar

Age: 650= demon 30= human

Descriptoion of Kalabar: 5 foot 7 inches.Has two swords, and one staff.He wears all black, but he has white boots.

Personality:He his nice, but if you mention something about his parents you will be killed instantly.He is a bodygard, currently out of job.

History of Kalabar: When he was young
_________________________________________________ _______________________

Kalabar hears about the trouble so he sets off from his village. He comes acroos many places and got into battle with, demons, deamon,Lizard men, and shapeshifters. As he approtched the village he saw a bar to his right, and an inn to his left. He walked in and got a room.He left the Inn and went to the bar, as he walked in many people eyed him.Kalabar annouced that he was here to help the in the war against the dragon, all the people started to cheer. The bar tender gave him a drink on the house, and any meal he wanted,When Kalabar was done the he went to the Weapons Shop ,that was 3 door down from the Inn.As he entered the store he noticed an sword that caught his eye, but he was not sure why it did.Kalabar left the shop without buying the sword.He headed out to the Mountain tht was exactly 20 knots to the north...
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Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2004, 09:04:58 PM »
Quote
Kalabar hears about the trouble so he sets off from his village. He comes acroos many places and got into battle with, demons, deamon,Lizard men, and shapeshifters. As he approtched the village he saw a bar to his right, and an inn to his left. He walked in and got a room.He left the Inn and went to the bar, as he walked in many people eyed him.Kalabar annouced that he was here to help the in the war against the dragon, all the people started to cheer. The bar tender gave him a drink on the house, and any meal he wanted,When Kalabar was done the he went to the Weapons Shop ,that was 3 door down from the Inn.As he entered the store he noticed an sword that caught his eye, but he was not sure why it did.Kalabar left the shop without buying the sword.He headed out to the Mountain tht was exactly 20 knots to the north...


Apparently, Kalabar has no emotions or thoughts, and neither do the people in the town. Never once do we see anything about any ambivalence or concern, nor sadness or any sort of reaction. Your character and the supporting characters are flat and pointless, serving only as a means to kill the dragons.
The whole deal with the sword in the "Weapon Shop" was entirely without point or consequence...
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Offline kalabar

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« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2004, 09:07:03 PM »
Hey the sword does have a reason and it will come up when i start the rpg. and i know i still have to work on the Intro and i will, later tonight
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Offline Strolen

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Re: Revised Copy
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2004, 01:06:24 AM »
Quote from: "kalabar"
Kalabar hears about the trouble so he sets off from his village. He comes acroos many places and got into battle with, demons, deamon,Lizard men, and shapeshifters. As he approtched the village he saw a bar to his right, and an inn to his left. He walked in and got a room.He left the Inn and went to the bar, as he walked in many people eyed him.Kalabar annouced that he was here to help the in the war against the dragon, all the people started to cheer. The bar tender gave him a drink on the house, and any meal he wanted,When Kalabar was done the he went to the Weapons Shop ,that was 3 door down from the Inn.As he entered the store he noticed an sword that caught his eye, but he was not sure why it did.Kalabar left the shop without buying the sword.He headed out to the Mountain tht was exactly 20 knots to the north...


Ok, we are getting somewhere now. I ask these questions to help you flesh out the idea.

How did Kalabar get the word to go to the village? Why? Money, fame, family?

Why would the village cheer for just another person to help? By now they are probably in full misery and they would see another 'hero' as just another death on their conscience. Kalabar needs a legend that make the people cheer. Then when he tells them his name they would cheer...not just the fact another person is going to walk up the mountain and dissappear.

The sword may have a point further in the story, but if Kalabar is a great warrior that can kill demons and all that, then a sword in a shop in a town with 100 people left in it is probably not going to catch his eye. If the sword had any magic/talent the village would have found that out years and years ago. Got to remember this town has been fighting dragons for a looooong time and they would have exhausted anything and everything they could. I am pretty sure they would not just leave an important sword in the shop all this time. And if they did...then we need a good reason for it.

And a knot is a measurement of speed. Kilometers, furlong, cubits, feet....any of those would do.

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Offline kalabar

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« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2004, 06:00:22 AM »
The type ok Knots im talking about is like in Military, you know half a mile
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Offline Strolen

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« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2004, 06:07:37 AM »
I think you might mean klick....which is simply short for kilometer.  Ya know  0.62 miles.

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Offline kalabar

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« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2004, 06:09:15 AM »
Yeah thats the one...not big on military but fine 20 klicks north.
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Offline sniperspy

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« Reply #15 on: February 15, 2004, 11:28:24 PM »
One other suggestion, but you seem to be treating these Rp's as if you were actually playing an RP video game! This is text based, a storyline, not a game. You can exxagerate details, play in a world that cannot exist in reality, that is the fun of an RP!


Oh ya, and one other thing, with the video game thing, stop posting player info like:

Name: ????
Age: ????
Location: ????
And Etc.

Give this information as part of the story, it livens things up a bit, and it doesnt halt the flow of your post!
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Offline kalabar

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« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2004, 07:18:28 AM »
Ummm you should stick that in a different area because, this is my rp....Make your own like that
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Offline Ria Hawk

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« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2004, 08:45:44 AM »
Dude, he was giving you a suggestion for yours.
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Offline kalabar

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« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2004, 08:47:20 AM »
Oh well i didn't notice...
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Offline Derry

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« Reply #19 on: March 06, 2004, 08:00:50 PM »
I wouldn't recommend using words like "klick". It's an up-to-date term (as far as I know) and it's slang. I know that the people I play with would question the use of such words in a game like that.
May I suggest sticking to words like kilometers, miles, furlongs etc. Both because most players knows these words (and the distances they each represents) and because it's something that you can trust was used in mideival (can't remember how to spell that) times... But it's only my humble oppinion.
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Offline Luke Lavin

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« Reply #20 on: March 06, 2004, 08:32:52 PM »
Quote
He his nice, but if you mention something about his parents you will be killed instantly.He is a bodygard, currently out of job.



Something to do for character is maybe take real world personalities such as if your character was dating some one and they asked about your parents you'd just blow their head off?

I mean come on man.  So you want a bad ass character thats cool but maybe if he was that badass maybe hes clinicaly depressed or psycho.

Offline CaptainPenguin

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« Reply #21 on: March 06, 2004, 09:23:49 PM »
Derry!
Thank you!
I've noticed something:
Kalabar and, unfortunately, Luke, too, frequently use real-world, modern terms in their games to describe things. For instance, in my RP "Doom Within the Mountain", Luke's character Maritann used the term "psycho". This term seems too modern for the setting. In a medieval setting, one would say "madman" or something like that.
Not to nit-pick, but it's just something to watch.
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Offline Luke Lavin

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« Reply #22 on: March 06, 2004, 11:56:08 PM »
Hey Cap'n thanks I'll be more careful of that.  :)