"D'ARR!"
A giant sloshing barrel casts its shadow over the courtyard, and explodes in mid-air, showering the gathering with a foamy downpour of grog. Coming down with the alcoholic deluge is a penguin, dressed in a preposterous pirate outfit. He wears a tattered seaman's jacket, a floppy, wide-brimmed hat with enourmous feather plume, rose-lensed goggles, and a wooden-toy sword painted gold.
He hands Iain a frosty mug of foamy, salty, green grog.
"Yarr! Welcome, welcome, welcome! Dip yer' donuts in grog, it makes 'em taste better!"