A massive sloshing barrel rockets over the top of the wall and smashes over a very large brown spot on the lawn. A foaming green liquid splashes out and expands the brown spot, killing all grass it touches. A whistling sound drifts from above, and a figure splashes down into the pond of grog.
The figure is a short penguin, dressed in a ridiculous pirate get-up. He wears a tattered seaman's jacket, a floppy black hat with a ridiculous purple feather plume, rose-lensed goggles, and a wooden toy sword painted gold.
"YARR! I be Cap'n Penguin, an' I be welcomin' yeh' to our Citadel!"
He then looks strangely confused.
"Err...Eh, usually I have somethin' witty teh' say, but, uh...."