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silly Freetext

Cheka Man
December 28, 2008
Hits: 1434
Comments: 9
Ideas: 0
Votes: 7 / 3.714286
Spennymore's Skating Boots    Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)

Spennymore’s Skating Boots look normal to the untrained eye. It is difficult to mentally connect them to the legends that cling to them, of those who would attack the wearer suddenly ending up head over heels.

Cheka Man
December 20, 2008
Hits: 1753
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Votes: 6 / 3.416667
Sproggans    Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Swamp)

The muggers cornered the little goblin against the wall, when with a hissing noise he suddenly grew to double his size. Muscles bulged out from his body and they lokked at each other, then turned and ran. The Sproggan watched them go and grinned at the thought of how well he had fooled them, and when they were gone he deflated back to his normal size and went on his way.

Siren no Orakio
November 5, 2008
Hits: 1329
Comments: 10
Ideas: 0
Votes: 7 / 3.642857
Hyperdoily    Items  (Home/ Personal)   (Magical)

Its intricate knitting defining all description, the hyperdoily is the world’s best resting place for cookies.

Scrasamax
October 9, 2008
Hits: 1850
Comments: 9
Ideas: 0
Votes: 7 / 4.000000
Dandélion    Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Plains)

Fluffy headed plant things with an equally fluffy headed personality

Kinslayer
September 24, 2008
Hits: 3644
Comments: 6
Ideas: 0
Votes: 6 / 2.916667
Away From Table Chart    Plots  (Travel)   (Side-Quest)

This random-roll chart is designed for those times when a player unexpectedly misses a game session.  What is their character doing while everyone else is out on an adventure?

MoonHunter
September 15, 2008
Hits: 3976
Comments: 19
Ideas: 37
Votes: 7 / 4.285714
Items of Groan    Items  (Other)   (Magical)

While magic if full of odd associations, some are quite "pun-ish". By accident or on purpose, slips of the tongue are there.

Harvengure
August 20, 2008
Hits: 3044
Comments: 6
Ideas: 0
No votes
Trickster's Tankard (minor and major)    Items  (Other)   (Cursed)

Warning: Trickster’s Tankard may result in alcohol abuse, random bar fights and very angry dwarves, half orcs, orcs, giants and anyone else who enjoys their drink.

Use with caution

Harvengure
August 17, 2008
Hits: 1395
Comments: 6
Ideas: 0
Votes: 4 / 3.500000
Trickster's Charm    Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)

"Poor girl seems to be losing her mind.  She’s always losing that necklace it seems.  Makes me wonder why she takes it off at all." - Concerned Mother in regards to how absent minded her daughter has become

Harvengure
August 17, 2008
Hits: 1201
Comments: 6
Ideas: 0
Votes: 5 / 3.000000
Turning Fork    Items  (Other)   (Magical)

Zombies make horrible dinner guest. Trying to eat the brains of the host tends to ruin things. 

Well, now you can tell them to fork off with this handy little item.

Pieh
July 11, 2008
Hits: 1925
Comments: 5
Ideas: 0
Votes: 2 / 3.500000
Rune of Admini    Items  (Computers)   (Magical)

An old device used for giving the common folk a say in the Elder’s plans that has survived to the modern day.

Agar
April 1, 2008
Hits: 2010
Comments: 5
Ideas: 0
Votes: 4 / 3.125000
Quantum Sheen    Items  (Materials)   (Magical)

"What does this marveous ointment do you ask? It’s easily worth the 50 gold an ounce I’m selling it to you for my friend, I can promise you that. ... You still want to know what it does? Well, it ... it sorta ... and then it ... Here! Just try a sample here and see!"

Pieh
February 15, 2008
Hits: 2598
Comments: 8
Ideas: 0
Votes: 6 / 3.250000
Frosty's Silk Hat of Sentience    Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)

Frosty the Snowman. Is a fairytale they say. He was made of snow. But the children know. How he came to life one day…

There must have been some magic. In that old silk hat they found. For when they placed it on his head. He began to dance around…

Siren no Orakio
January 5, 2008
Hits: 2286
Comments: 9
Ideas: 0
Votes: 8 / 3.625000
The Cabal of Omnomnom    Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Area)

An odd little cult dedicated to the care and feeding of their ‘god’, the Cabal of Omnomnom is slowly depleting the region of…

Stephie
January 5, 2008
Hits: 5544
Comments: 18
Ideas: 9
Votes: 12 / 4.166667
Ways a DM Can Stall an Adventure    Articles  (Humor/ Editorial)   (Game Mastering)

Have you ever been in a position where you needed a quick break but your players were too ancy to break as well?

Siren no Orakio
January 4, 2008
Hits: 2857
Comments: 12
Ideas: 0
Votes: 8 / 4.250000
Spathi's Ring of Elusion    Items  (Jewelry)   (Magical)

A coward’s ring, Spathi’s Ring of Elusion allows the magi wearing it easy escape from battle, and a parting shot to be remembered by at the same time.

Kassil
December 29, 2007
Hits: 2188
Comments: 4
Ideas: 0
Votes: 3 / 3.500000
Clothing of Concealment    Items  (Clothes)   (Magical)

Sometimes, you just need to stash something away - some spare cash, a holdout weapon, your gender…

Drackler
November 10, 2007
Hits: 4184
Comments: 12
Ideas: 12
Votes: 8 / 3.375000
Harmless potions    Items  (Potion)   (Magical)

A list of harmless (if sometimes annoying) potions.

Siren no Orakio
October 30, 2007
Hits: 2010
Comments: 3
Ideas: 0
Votes: 3 / 3.333333
Captain Hwaln Fusionbelly    NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)

Just another Salvorathan captain, one of the surprisingly few, but entrenpenurial folks.

valadaar
October 25, 2007
Hits: 1831
Comments: 7
Ideas: 0
Votes: 6 / 4.166667
FMCs Vendo-Quiver(TM)    Items  (Other)   (Magical)

"Tired of lugging about heavy quivers full of arrows?"

manfred
October 17, 2007
Hits: 3240
Comments: 16
Ideas: 0
Votes: 7 / 4.214286
Translator of Political Corectness    Items  (Other)   (Magical)

Some items simply go wrong, that happens from time to time. But some are created by weird minds, even downright deranged ones, minds too sick to be healed. Guess where this one comes from.

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       By: Raptyr

Nine times out of ten, it’s the undead that do the running.

Not strictly animal or vegetable, the Corpse bud is a peculiar individual that shares characteristics from multiple kingdoms and species. In appearance, all corpse buds bear a shape of a large rounded top bud divided into four lateral segments, and a much longer, narrower bottom bud, also divided into four segments. Between the two halves are a set of four radial limbs, rounded on top and flat on the bottom, covered with tiny serrated hooks facing towards the body. In overall size, it’s limbs reach as wide as a spread hand, with the body being as thick as a fist. It is as long as a human hand from top to bottom.

Internally, the top bud of the corpse bud contains a bacteria filled membrane that produces the hydrogen that the corpse bud uses to stay aloft, and a series of fungal gills for the dispersal of spores for reproduction. The lower half of the bud contains a number of fine filaments, as well as a sharp barbed stinger containing a powerful local anaesthesia.

The Corpse Bud mobilizes by inflating its top bud, and steers by rotating its arms rapidly about its body. The corpse bud ordinarily drifts with the wind, orienting towards the scent of recent decay and death. It preys on the recently dead, burrowing the lower bud into the victim, using the anaesthesia in case the victim is dying, and not truly deceased. Once embedded, it releases its filaments into the body, replacing the current nervous system. This gives it full animation of the body, and allows the corpse bud to direct it.

Corpse buds are not a malevolent species, being primarily concerned with breaking down the host body for food, and infecting the reproductive cycle with spores in order to mate with other corpse-bud bodies. To preserve the corpse for this purpose, Corpse buds will seek out dry locations to prevent bacteria from destroying the corpses. This often causes a large number of corpse buds to gather in a single location.

In culture, Corpse buds are used to repair broken spines or degenerative diseases, as the sentient mind will easily overcome the mind of the non-sentient corpse bud. Once infected by a corpse bud, however, removal is usually fatal, and the infected individual cannot reproduce, or risk infecting another. Thus, it is a technique often reserved for the elderly, or a last resort.

Necromancers and other dark sorcerers will often preserve the corpses of their victims magically, and infect them with corpse buds, creating traditional undead as well, so as to seed their lairs with undead both offensive and non, in order to throw their enemies off balance. They will also enslave the rudimentary minds of the corpse buds, and transform the docile things into a plague. There have also been accounts of magically transformed corpse buds with stronger minds and a taste for living flesh, but thus far all accounts are unproven rumors.

Ideas  ( Lifeforms ) | October 12, 2011 | View | UpVote 3xp


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