Everyone's got a story, and I'm tired of hearing them!
Many roleplays are set in a world where much of the land is held by barons and other nobles serving under the King or Queen. Sometimes the PCs may need to meet these nobles to ask for help in their Quest, at other times they may be caught for breaking the law and end up with their lives in his hands. Yet nobles are different;some may be good people who care for those underneath them and are loved in return, others may be unpleasent tyrantts hated and feared by their underlings, and still others a bit of both. With this in mind I present thirty nobles
The Cosmic Era setting operates on a number of different levels of engagement.
Looking for Dwarven proverbs, sayings, euphemisms, quotes, and anecdotes? We are too! Please help the fledgling Dwarven Guild in its infancy stages! Looking to make a list of 101+ with the help of our beardless brethren!
A recently re-discovered odd treatise
"So's ya want ta know about the maze and the labyrinth? There's a difference, ya know. The maze is more like a, a, puzzle, a puzzle where ya wander and gets lost. An' a labyrinth is more... straight, ai guess, straight with curves, if'n ya gets what I'm sayin'."
-Old Gerald, man in the pub.
“There’s another reason they call it the chain of command you know.” –Riley, recalling his military training.
“Because they tie you in chains if you don’t obey it?” –Renee, taking a wild guess.
“Because the lives of everyone under your command weighs like a ball and chain around your neck.” –Riley, remembering the troops who looked to him for leadership in the Gulf war.
“In light of this whole zombie plague I’m thinking they’re going to have to redefine R.I.P to Rise in Putrescence.” –Riley, recalling the usual gravestone markings.
“How about Rot In Pieces?” –Jessy, proving acronyms can mean whatever the reader intends.
“I can’t help but wonder if this whole undead business is restricted to humans or if it affects animals too.” –Riley, pondering the effects of The Wave.
“You do know humans are just another animal in the grand scheme of evolution right?" –Renee, showing off her intellect yet again.
“Ssh! Not so loud, you might tempt fate into having us find out!” -Heather, displaying an unusually superstitious fear of fate. (And of tempting the GM)
“Thomas Baker? An interesting name for a Bakery store owner.” –Heather, musing over their new acquaintances name.
“Back in the day it was common for people to have last names based on their profession. Smith would be a blacksmith, Carpenter a woodworker, and so forth." –Renee, showing off her intellect.
“If that’s true, then what about John Hancock?” Jessy, being a dirty old man, like usual.
The great Wall Mounts have been scaled, or your ship's technology has reached a level in which it is possible to cross the oceans. And when the PCs or NPCs find other people, unknown people, what happens? Carnage.
Armour should not just be for protection. It should tell a story, your story!
"Your wall is impenetrable, eh? Its so thick it can withstand 100s of direct hits from any siege engine? I have but one word for you: magic."
“Do ya think we should offer any of these panties to Heather to replace her missing set?” –Riley, referencing the lingerie covering his windshield.
“And ruin the best form of entertainment around now pay per view is gone?” –Jessy, being a dirty old man like usual.
“Ya know, I never took Riley for the hearts & kisses boxer shorts type of mechanic.” –Heather, commenting on Riley’s choice of undergarments.
“Could be he was inspired by your short skirt and no undergarment approach to every day life?”-Renee, commenting on Heather’s choice of no undergarments.
“Man I could really go for a burrito; do ya think Taco Bell still has anything edible in their freezers?” –Tommy, longing for fast food.
“I doubt it, the powers out across most of the country, and after a few months without juice their freezers are prolly pretty nasty.”-Renee, reminding him of the unpleasantness of reality.
“It’s Taco Bell, I doubt you’d notice any difference.” –Heather, remembering her last unpleasant visit to the food chain.
“At least with most of the industrial plants off line the air pollution level of the world will go down. Soon you’ll be able to smell a rose bush a few hundred yards away.”–Renee, noting one of the few bright points to the collapse of civilization.
“Yep, before long everyone will be able to enjoy the scent of rotten cadavers on the evening breeze for miles.”-Jessy, pointing out the unpleasantly obvious.
“Given their stench hides the reek of your cigars I can’t rightly complain.” –Heather, wishing Jessy would give up his nasty habit.
“Hey uncle you know why the zombies were all over the airport? Because they wanted plaaaanes!” –Tommy Booths, making yet another zombie joke.
“I have enough trouble with airsickness kid without you giving me pundigestion.” -Riley, unamused at the endless string of lame zombie Jokes Tommy thought up.
“With how fast you go though bullets you should buy stock in an ammunition retailer.” -Renee’s advice to Jessy after realizing how fast he burned through over one hundred .9mm rounds.
“My chain of retail stores Hannaford’s actually sells a large selection of ammo, firearms, and firearm accessories.” –Jessy, his usual sarcastic self.
“Finally! Someone other then me gets covered in nasty crap!” –Jessy, relieved at avoiding being covered in dog puke.
“At least until you have to clean your nephew up anyway.” –Heather, reminding him of the unpleasantly obvious.
These rare, fist-sized spiders do not make webs, but rather excrete secretions which harden upon contact with air. These "droppings" resemble barley-sized spider eggs, or even lustrous pearls, once the slime coating them, dries up. In fact, dried Pearl Spider "drops" are indistinguishable from the marine varieties produced by mollusks, and hence of identical value on the open market!
Several centuries ago, they were studied by naturalists, and several observations were made. Firstly, was that these spiders "lay" these pearls for no apparent or discernible "natural" reason, and secondly, the naturalists had discovered that the more these spiders ate or were fed--and they were true omnivores--the larger the spider pearls came out.
A cottage industry began. Enterprising merchants hunted and collected these creatures across the lands, erecting spider-farms for the manufacture of Spider Pearls. It wasn't long before someone got the idea to force-feed the spiders, ala foie gras geese, and soon, the fattened spiders began pooping out pearls of great size! (relatively speaking). The regular pearl market came to disarray, and prices and value fluctuated wildly.
[b]Plothook[/b] The Mermen Mercantile Alliance hires the party to eradicate all terrestrial Pearl Spider Farms!