Give your magic item a quick history. Then use the history to tie a whole bunch of things together that will make you look like a genius.
"All the guests were thoroughly checked before they entered the manse, my Prince. There was no sword on him...yet, he pulled the blade from his belt! But how..."
A gun made by the God of the Dwarves
Busy GMs need help prepping for games faster. And you can create fantastic magic items in just three minutes using my stat block.
"Contingent of Imperial Knights spotted at Osthill, my prince. Lord Marshall Oswald's tank contingent is dug in there, and the fortifications are solid. All you need to do is give me the order, and I'll tell his lordship to make it rain."
-Miles Secundi, Man-at-Arms of Prince Kastame
"Sure, it’s chilly to wear in the winter, boiling in the summer, and yeah, it chafes a little after a day or two of marching. But when you do what we do, you learn to eat, sleep and s**t in it - pardon my language your highness.”
-Miles Secundi, Man at Arms of Prince Kastame
"Some call it 'the Realm of the Builders' - the Ark refers to it as 'Dius Factorsitius Terravae' or 'The Forge of Worlds.' My opinion? Well, I think it's more of a garden, to be honest."
-Author Dreu, van Heinhelm Household Cleric
Madness lingers there, in the broken corners of his mind.
"Such a curious candle... it burns...with no wick?"
Out of all lifeforms on this planet, none is more feared than the insidious Moadi-Bird.
Seek Not the Moadi-Bird
"The Circus is in town, Dicurion. Make a donation to the good priests of the Laughing God. See if he won't smile down upon us, and wish our little problem away."
-Olrich van Haarkrom
Made out of the tail-hairs of a Girsh. Enhances perception.
These relatively plain silver rings allow the wearer to go unseen, unheard, and un-smelled and render the wearer completely intangible - but only to others who wear a Ring of Mutual Exclusion.
Coins for those with friends who live far away.
A new take on hell that leaves you gasping on the edge of panic.
The sky is drab and gray, almost completely covered in rainclouds. What gaps there are open up to show yet more gray. Much like mortal demesnes, the weather is unpredictable, but every so often the clouds unleash their burden of water on the residents of this boring land.
Welcome to the Hell of Half-Nothings. Your stay will be boring, we guarantee it.
A soul that feels no remorse for the sins it has committed in life is unfit for paradise in the afterlife. Only those who fully grasp the weight of the harm they have visited upon others and repent are offered a chance at atonement. Only those who atone for their sins are allowed to move on.
-- The Book of Reprieve, 11:36:01
"Avaricious is a special sort of hell; it's the hell we created ourselves. It is the hell we deserve." - Smythe Voss, crewman of Siren's Laugh
A massive iron key - 2’ length, 20 lbs forged with demonic faces from the bones and horns of demon-lords. When used with a massive portal - carefully built according to documents found in powerful books of evil knowledge, it will open into the realm of demons and allow them to flood into the world. The applications of this item for villains are obvious. Mortals touching this item are subject to [Effects_of_Touching_Powerful_Evil_Artifacts]