"Your wall is impenetrable, eh? Its so thick it can withstand 100s of direct hits from any siege engine? I have but one word for you: magic."
“What made you think all these naked dummies were zombies?” –Renee, still amazed at Jessy’s lack of control.
“Because normal people don’t stand around naked in the rain?" –Jessy, displaying his “common sense.”
“Do ya think we should offer any of these panties to Heather to replace her missing set?” –Riley, referencing the lingerie covering his windshield.
“And ruin the best form of entertainment around now pay per view is gone?” –Jessy, being a dirty old man like usual.
“Ya know, I never took Riley for the hearts & kisses boxer shorts type of mechanic.” –Heather, commenting on Riley’s choice of undergarments.
“Could be he was inspired by your short skirt and no undergarment approach to every day life?”-Renee, commenting on Heather’s choice of no undergarments.
“Fists of Fury? I wonder if these bandits ever realized their intimidatin’ name sounds more like the title of a gay porno?” –Jessy, pondering how much of a threat the prison gang truly poses..
“I’m going to do you a favor and not ask how you know so much about gay porno titles okay?”-Riley, not missing the opportunity to poke fun at the old man.
“Do yourself a favor and never visit one of those 24 hour video rental stores to make a phone call when your truck breaks down.” –Jessy, remembering the first and last time he frequented an adult video store.
A re-evaluation of the basic concept of Man vs. Nature
“Man I could really go for a burrito; do ya think Taco Bell still has anything edible in their freezers?” –Tommy, longing for fast food.
“I doubt it, the powers out across most of the country, and after a few months without juice their freezers are prolly pretty nasty.”-Renee, reminding him of the unpleasantness of reality.
“It’s Taco Bell, I doubt you’d notice any difference.” –Heather, remembering her last unpleasant visit to the food chain.
“At least with most of the industrial plants off line the air pollution level of the world will go down. Soon you’ll be able to smell a rose bush a few hundred yards away.”–Renee, noting one of the few bright points to the collapse of civilization.
“Yep, before long everyone will be able to enjoy the scent of rotten cadavers on the evening breeze for miles.”-Jessy, pointing out the unpleasantly obvious.
“Given their stench hides the reek of your cigars I can’t rightly complain.” –Heather, wishing Jessy would give up his nasty habit.
“I’d Kiss you Jessy, but after everything that’s wound up in your beard of the past few weeks I’d probably catch the plague and become a zombie.” -Heather Wilks, grateful for Jessy’s brilliant landing location.
“That might jus be an improvement to both yer looks and yer attitude.”-Jessy Hannaford, being his sarcastic self.
Nuclear war, zombie outbreaks, meteor strikes, economic collapse, alien invasion, no matter how it happens an apocalypse makes for a unique and engaging setting to run a campaign in, even for a jaded GM.
Here’s a few quick tips that can make a good zombie or other post apocalypse game a great one, and keep the group coming back (from the dead?) for more.
“Hey uncle you know why the zombies were all over the airport? Because they wanted plaaaanes!” –Tommy Booths, making yet another zombie joke.
“I have enough trouble with airsickness kid without you giving me pundigestion.” -Riley, unamused at the endless string of lame zombie Jokes Tommy thought up.
“With how fast you go though bullets you should buy stock in an ammunition retailer.” -Renee’s advice to Jessy after realizing how fast he burned through over one hundred .9mm rounds.
“My chain of retail stores Hannaford’s actually sells a large selection of ammo, firearms, and firearm accessories.” –Jessy, his usual sarcastic self.
“Finally! Someone other then me gets covered in nasty crap!” –Jessy, relieved at avoiding being covered in dog puke.
“At least until you have to clean your nephew up anyway.” –Heather, reminding him of the unpleasantly obvious.
“I can’t imagine anything more disgusting then throwing up in a gas mask.” –Riley Setson, commenting on the fate of an unlucky pilot.
“Really? How about crapping yer drawers in a hazmat suit?” –Jessy Hannaford, proving yet again things can always be worse.
“What the hell’s wrong with that girl? She got some kinda death wish or somethin?”–Jessy Hannaford, commenting on Heather’s daring acrobatics.
“I think she’s trying to avoid the stench of your cigars uncle.” –Tommy Booths, repulsed by the smell of his uncles’ sewage dipped tobacco products.
In case you missed it, Session #6 may be found Here.
“Fly? Anyone can fly a plane, it’s easy. Landing it in one piece, now that’s a might bit trickier.” –Renee Black, clarifying her piloting skills.
“That reminds me why they tell you to put your head between your knees when assuming a crash position, it’s so you can kiss your ass goodbye.” –Jessy Hannaford, remembering basic flight safety.
“And to think this time last year, my biggest worry was keeping my bowels move’n on a regular schedule.” -Jessy Hannaford, reminiscing about the good o’l days.
“Hey, that’s one upside of a zombie apocalypse; you’re never constipated for very long.” -Riley Stetson, proving there’s a positive side to every situation.
A repository of all the quest ideas that have been brainstormed and then lost through the cracks
Seven things I've learned about NPCs
Sometimes playing a major NPC that’s part of the party can be tough. After all, it’s hard not to have the NPC come up with a winning strategy, spot a piece of evidence or find a trap the PCs overlooked. However, if one does this too much, the NPC becomes the crutch the group leans on as soon a problem presents itself.
When done too little, the NPC is usually treated as a useless addition outside of menial labor and an extra weapon in combat. Here are a few techniques to keep them fun and useful , and become a party member the GM and players will like having around.
The Nomin gypsies have a fiddling competition every year, known as the Danse de Velose. Beaters hit out the rhythm on taut drums and the competitors start to play, slowly at first. Youngsters can compete, but are soon pulled away by worried mothers, before the competition becomes too dangerous. After two hours the haunting tune has become dazzlingly fast. You can resign at any time, but the moment you make a mistake you receive an arrow through the neck. Strings may snap, but the players must play on. The whole affair never lasts much longer than three hours, and the last fiddler playing is crowned king of the gypsies.