“With how fast you go though bullets you should buy stock in an ammunition retailer.” -Renee’s advice to Jessy after realizing how fast he burned through over one hundred .9mm rounds.
“My chain of retail stores Hannaford’s actually sells a large selection of ammo, firearms, and firearm accessories.” –Jessy, his usual sarcastic self.
“Finally! Someone other then me gets covered in nasty crap!” –Jessy, relieved at avoiding being covered in dog puke.
“At least until you have to clean your nephew up anyway.” –Heather, reminding him of the unpleasantly obvious.
“I can’t imagine anything more disgusting then throwing up in a gas mask.” –Riley Setson, commenting on the fate of an unlucky pilot.
“Really? How about crapping yer drawers in a hazmat suit?” –Jessy Hannaford, proving yet again things can always be worse.
“What the hell’s wrong with that girl? She got some kinda death wish or somethin?”–Jessy Hannaford, commenting on Heather’s daring acrobatics.
“I think she’s trying to avoid the stench of your cigars uncle.” –Tommy Booths, repulsed by the smell of his uncles’ sewage dipped tobacco products.
In case you missed it, Session #6 may be found Here.
“Fly? Anyone can fly a plane, it’s easy. Landing it in one piece, now that’s a might bit trickier.” –Renee Black, clarifying her piloting skills.
“That reminds me why they tell you to put your head between your knees when assuming a crash position, it’s so you can kiss your ass goodbye.” –Jessy Hannaford, remembering basic flight safety.
“And to think this time last year, my biggest worry was keeping my bowels move’n on a regular schedule.” -Jessy Hannaford, reminiscing about the good o’l days.
“Hey, that’s one upside of a zombie apocalypse; you’re never constipated for very long.” -Riley Stetson, proving there’s a positive side to every situation.
"Don’t think for a minute just because you’re “go’in commando” it’s going to improve your gun skills or our chances of gettin out of this alive.” -Jessy Hannaford, commenting on Heather’s lack of undergarments.
“Cheap talk from the guy wearing *my* panties on his leg.” -Heather Wilks, pointing to her makeshift bandage adorning Jessy’s leg wound.
“On second thought I might just get ‘mself a preachers collar and a rabbi cap, jus in case.” -Jessy Hannaford discussing the “spray and pray” method of full auto fire with Riley.
“You’d better bring a bible for your last rites as well, and shovel, ’cause if your “friendly fire” comes within spitting distance of me or my pups again, I’ll bury your grizzled, dehydrated, jerky lov’n ass on boot hill!” -Heather Wilks, still fumed about Jessy’s last full auto experience almost killing her.
“I see why they call her a hound master now, that gals one right bitch most’a the time.”-Jessy Hannaford’s quiet observation spoken to Riley.
“Whooeee Uncle! you smell like the inside of a cows butt hole!” -Tommy Booths, commenting on his uncles new “cologne.”
“So does his breath.” -Renee Black, quietly stating the obvious.
Session #1 may be found Here.
“A road trip? In this mess that used to be America? Yer outta your minds, I’d rather sleep with a rabid porcupine!” -Phil McGuire Ranch Hand on the Happy Trails Horse Ranch when asked about coming with the group to find a safer haven up north.
A Dead Reign zombie apocalypse campaign synopsis, Session #1 of 32.
snagged from a tweet, what are seven things you've learned about writing in general, writing for gaming and gamers, or for the citadel?
After seeing the [My First Character] thread a while ago and it newly popping up in my inbox for some reason, I thought I'd add a scroll where players could share their introduction to roleplaying.
One thing holds consistent across the numerous worlds of science fiction and fantasy: everyone speaks the same language. Whether it's Lojban, English, Common, or the High Tongue of the Autumn Empire; there's one language that everyone knows, unless plot demands otherwise.
A hopefully amusing Strolen.com version of the Twelve Days of Christmas.
Give your magic item a quick history. Then use the history to tie a whole bunch of things together that will make you look like a genius.
Why is psuedo-Medieval Tolkien-esque fantasy the heart of the fantasy RPG genre?
Confiscated log entries concerning research, particle scanners, micromachines, and computer software on the subject of Teleportation.
There is a being we know as Manfred. His generators of randomness have aided the Citadel in times of need, but what of his career as a time-traveller? This is the first in a series uncovering the secret origins of famed Strolenati members. I fear I must type quickly, there are those who wouls not want you to read this. Will you crawl deeper into the rabbit hole?
Hell. A place of suffering and torment, a often used and cliche ridden place that every GM has to relate to.
New Submissions
“Hey uncle you know why the zombies were all over the airport? Because they wanted plaaaanes!” –Tommy Booths, making yet another zombie joke.
“I have enough trouble with airsickness kid without you giving me pundigestion.” -Riley, unamused at the endless string of lame zombie Jokes Tommy thought up.