“Fists of Fury? I wonder if these bandits ever realized their intimidatin’ name sounds more like the title of a gay porno?” –Jessy, pondering how much of a threat the prison gang truly poses..
“I’m going to do you a favor and not ask how you know so much about gay porno titles okay?”-Riley, not missing the opportunity to poke fun at the old man.
“Do yourself a favor and never visit one of those 24 hour video rental stores to make a phone call when your truck breaks down.” –Jessy, remembering the first and last time he frequented an adult video store.
Other improvisational weapons/tools:
Icicles are useful as daggers,
Bag Of Holding filled with copper pieces used by chucking the contents at foes, (by strolen)
sleeves make useful garrotes. Ya can't cut anyone's neck, but you sure can choke 'em!
Flaming Logs make great clubs, (any Barbarians out there?)
and Bee hives are very effective when thrown at a mob of enemies. :-)