An absolutely stunning story wrapped in a bad name. I liked the presentation format of an oral tradition that reveals a dichotomy of the perceived story, and the real story. Kudos to you Wildcorn for the dark version of Le Morte de Arthur
If the name didn't make me think of a shard of the storm laundry tool, I would rate this higher, but as it is, 4 is all I can grant. Go to Comment
I agree Nobdy, and having had conversations with you regarding other submissions for the quest I can understand your take on this.
I voted on the sole purpose of the item itself not the fact that it was a submission item. I suppose I should of course vote regarding the content of the quest but I was more excited about the submission as a whole not a quest item. But I still agree with you. Go to Comment
While what you say is a good solid poitn wildcorn, as I stated I voted on the submission as a whole not as a quest item. regardless whether this was for a quest or not. I put faith in the submission itself not in the fact it was a quest item.
Some names are bad, but I've always found making up a name on the spot, no matter how terrible, is preferable to having a template name (INSERT NAME HERE). Simply because template names are hard to follow, and they are worse still.
Maybe I should start providing alternate names for my items? It wouldn't be unreasonable for a powerful artifact to have many names. Go to Comment
I wouldn't say I've broken any rules, but I'll admit to having bent them.
To quote from "The Shards of the Storm" (http://www.strolen.com/content.php?node=411):
"Other combinations are possible, even likely. The shards may be fashioned as a part of any thing that contain their physical size, and each will grant the holder of that item a tiny fraction of divine power over the weather, as much dependant upon the holder as upon the fragment."
In my submissions I've tried to avoid the obvious items that directly embody storm elements. I've tried to pick out other more metaphysical aspects of storms. This ring represents renewal after a chaotic weather... The rainbow after the storm if you will.
In my defense, if I did not at least try to think of strange or unusual storm elements, then the competition would be without colour. The description of the shards screams: "sharp slab of metal, about sword size, that does lightning damage", so by banning weapon items outright (which I admittedly broke in my first submission) necessitates searching for more subtle effects.
Anyway, so you can judge for yourself whether this is a valid quest item, I've bent/broken these assumptions:
1) Assumption of descent: In my history I've said the shards didn't all fall at one time
2) Assumption of Purpose: In my history, I've said that earlier shards represented destructive aspects of the storm, constructive aspects fell in later shards
3) Assumption of singularity: This ring is composed of many tiny shards.
4) Assumption of aspect: This ring embodies the calm natural renewal after storms
However I think 1,2 and 3 are alright, you might have trouble accepting bend #4. Go to Comment
I'm glad to hear it, looking back on it though it hasn't seemed to have been as popular as some of my other items. Perhaps its too specific?
Some other things to do with it:
1. Protect your home/keep/dungeon with an aura of despair.
2. Lure do-gooders to your traps, bait them with this.
3. Con a city, use this to create the uneasy feeling, "solve" the problem, turn off the device and collect the reward.
4. Improve your reputation, have your bard sing songs of your achievements. During the battles parts of the story use the device to increase the peoples dread. They'll think the story is that much more scary.
5. Make a decoy - Remove the shard, put the mechanical device somewhere and run it, the splashing water will prevent anyone from seeing inside - a great decoy.
6. Drink the water (what would that do?). Go to Comment
That is a FUN item! Very creative too. Imagine the scene of somebody flying around amidst a lightning storm. I pictured something similiar to the person being the center of one of those lightning balls. I know players that would absolutely have a grand time with this puppy. Swooping through enemy ranks, wonder if how that would work out? Go to Comment
This was gearing toward a 3.5 from me but the added history of what possibly happened to Tolrus made me give this another .5
The thing about this is it is different. Not all magic items are made in a way to seem mundane and are, yet pull it off as being so abstract and ludadris to be interesting.
Who in their right mind woul set up a device to travel by lightning bolts? No one in their sane mind would. However it was done and in a somewhat believable manner.
Good job. I'm not sure how this fits into the shard quest though as this is a gem and not a piece of metal from the sword shards. Go to Comment
The shards are from the broken swords of the two gods, the Storm Queen and the Mad Lord of Avarice. They are shattered remnants of a divine weapon, a certain amount of power remains in these bits of celestial metal. If you could alter the description to fit the shards real concept it may suite very well with the Quest of the Shards of the Storm. Go to Comment
Items (Jewelry) (Campaign Defining)
If the name didn't make me think of a shard of the storm laundry tool, I would rate this higher, but as it is, 4 is all I can grant. Go to Comment