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Iron Spike Golem
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
young0ne2's comment on 2013-09-17 12:21 PM
very nice idea Go to Comment
Iron Spike Golem
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Longspeak's comment on 2013-09-17 05:16 PM
A really neat twist on a monster I've always found pretty boring. This is interesting, and looks like it'll be a lot of fun to throw at my players. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-10-04 12:55 PM
Those are characters are specifically attached to a specific game on the site. That is why they have mechanics. Other than that, most of this is pointless for most gamers... as most of us here DO NOT PLAY D20. I could post up Fantasy Hero or Ars Magica stats and specials and confuse the rest of you too. That is why everything needs to be described (IN WORDS) to make it adaptable.

A couple of things you can do:
If you have to list the mechanics (to which I would say, "try not to"), list everything as a description first. That way you have a thicker write up AND the character become equipment specific.

The format is uneven. You need to add more character returns at the end of paragraphs. You need to remove them from the middle of sentences and paragraphs. If you are going to line return at the end of each quote/ piece of dialog, you need to do it consistantly throughout the post.

Even if your character is new, you can have a lot more descriptive and motivational elements to his write up.

Nobody cares about generic equipment that most of us would assume he has. And we are going to adapt any standing orders to how we will use him as an NPC, so do not waste your time on them. Remember, you are posting up an NPC (even though it is your PC), so you need to make it useful to GMs. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2006-10-04 12:44 PM
For what it it's intended, this post is fine: A staple character to start a new, classical game. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-10-04 12:28 PM
Now I will say that even if this wasn't a Character Sheet for a forum RP, I wouldn't consider it a 1/5 submission. A 1/5 is so bad it has no hope, and is rife with glaring grammatical errors.

Perhaps requesting a new NPC sub-section for Forum Characters might not be a bad idea. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2006-10-04 07:53 AM
Ye gads – where do I start?

Backstory so thin as to be almost a cliché
Practically no motivations
And finally (the ultimate horror) game specific stats

A prime example of how NOT to write up a character for this site

Don’t often see a submission so bad that it deserves only 1/5 but I think this one qualifies Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
Murometz's comment on 2006-10-02 10:17 PM
welcome to the---does this party have a name? Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-02 07:18 PM
Name: Kadarin
Player: Valadaar
Class: Magic User(Mage) 5
Race: Human


Attributes

Str 10
Dex 15 (1 point bonus to AC)
Con 13
Int 16
Wis 9
Cha 12

Saving throws

Paralyz./Poison/Death Magic: 14
Petrif./Poly: 13
rod, staff, wand: 11
Breath Weapon: 15
Spell: 12



Weapon Skills:
(you're kidding, right?)
Sling

Other Skills:

Swimming
Diplomacy
Perception
Magecraft
Alchemy
Research
Prestigitation (non-magic)
Riding

Languages

Common (written and spoken)
K'tonian (written and spoken)
Ancient K'tonian (written)


HP - 7/7
AC 2 ( Base 5 (bracers), (-2) Ring Prot +2 1 Dex (AC 2),

THAC0 - 20
Current XP -
For Next level - Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-02 07:20 PM
Spells known:

Sleep
Read Magic
Identify
Armor (Unearthed arcana - AC 8 until damaged)
Comprehend Languages
Enlarge
Magic Missile,
Light,
Unseen Servant,
Burning Hands,
Read Languages,
Pyrotechnics,
Shocking Grasp,
Armor

-----
2nd

Invisibility
Web
Aganazzar’s Scorcher,
Wizard Lock,
Dimension Door,
Locate Object

3rd

Fireball, Feign Death, Slow

4th level -

Polymorph (Other), Evard’s Black Tentacles, Plant Growth Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-02 07:20 PM
Equipment:

Dull Grey Robes(worn)
Leather boots
Bright Blue robes (carried)
Leather pack
Bedroll & blanket
Spell book
Components pouch
Backup componets pouch(hidden in robe lining)
Paper & charcoal
Tinderbox
Number of small vials with stoppers

Metal-shod (both ends) oaken staff.(d6, but -5 due to non-prof)
Sling & 12 carefully selected stones (1d4 dmg)
2 Heavy lead bullets for sling(2d5 dmg)

Ring of Protection +2 (From Uncle)

Scroll with 4 spells, 2- 3rd, 2-4th 1-5th (fireball, protection from normal missiles, wall of ice, stone-skin)

Vambraces of Defense (AC 5), usable by anyone even mages(!)

---------------
1 scroll w/5 spells. Dimension Door x2, Locate Object x2, Plant Growth
Shrunken Spellbook (functional but shrunk to 1/12th size)
Thick, glass, Jar of ooze (instant demodand, just add water?)
Scroll of something (language not understood by anyone present) Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-02 07:20 PM
Standing Orders Table

Surprise Attack - Toss staff to attacker. Take cover, including using other persons
Basic Attack - Will take cover behind other persons/objects as available. Will fire sling stones when clear of immediate threat.
Attack of Opportunity - If at sling range, will fire, otherwise help others. Spells too precious to use without direct thought
Injured - Scream and run
Injury - Apply direct pressure and hope it wasn't the cleric who dropped.
Special - Will ALWAYS try and figure something out in the situation at hand before acting. Has too few hp, spells and weapons to ever act rashly Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-04 12:06 PM
Well, I can find worse. :) In any case, this is intended to be part of one of the ongoing RPGs - it was a quick effort. Backstory is thin because not much has happened to this guy yet - a starting character can't have too much, or they are not a starting character.

Also, if you look at the other submissions for the 'Back in the day' codex, they also have game stats. They have much better backstories to, so I'll not exuse that aspect.

Perhaps we need a new section for these type of submissions, as I agree this does not fit in with the normal NPC Submission. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-04 01:52 PM
Was following a similar format to the other NPC's in the Back in the Day codex.

Your point on the quaility is taken - this does need work and it will get better with a bit of time. Go to Comment
Kadarin
NPCs  (Character Sheet)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2006-10-13 11:14 AM
Also, truth be told, the basic career path and motivations are not far from my own early on, if you replace the Uncle with the "Government", and Computer Geek with Magecraft. Fortunately, I was able to clear my Debt before they named their price...

Though my slight of hand sucks!

Guess I would make a pretty boring NPC myself :) Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2006-09-25 04:43 PM
Pretty damn good. Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
Kassil's comment on 2008-11-07 07:35 AM
This is quite a good alternative to the usual Inexplicable Maelstrom that seems to crop up from time to time in fantasy worlds. It certainly, in my opinion, beats the 'giant beast in the ocean' origin of such storms.

The only thing that aggravates me is the Ku! thing. I understand why, more or less, but... It annoys me, regardless. A minor gripe on an otherwise quite interesting sub. Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
Kassil's comment on 2008-11-07 08:01 AM
The exclamation point. I get the reason, more or less, for it.

It's just an irrational dislike of exclamations in strange places. I've spent too many years on the internet, that's all. Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
Kassil's comment on 2008-11-07 04:24 PM
Aha. A glottal stop.
In light of that bit of information, while the symbol itself still nags the automatic English-teacher-tormented part of my mind, it becomes perfectly clear and logical.

I retract my objection. Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-09-29 12:27 PM
An intersting concept.

I found the historical explanation almost too long and in the end fairly pointless. Sure if gives some back story, but that means you need to incorporate those countries (and there is little to generate the analogs) and sky barges into your world. So what it comes down to: flying warships, evil wizardly country vs others, in a mass battle that ended. A quicker summation might of been more useful.

You can set this farther back in time, so the world has been living with this storm since time remembered. Thus there could be a long standing quest to find the last of the cursed items that caused it. Or the secret to destroying the thing could be "lost to time".

Of course all of this requires sky ships to be in your campaign. And that can make life difficult and change the entire complexion of the world. Well you can get around the Sky Barges:

The storms probably hunts them down. No more great ariel battles. Where once the world thrived via flying trade, all the air ships are now grounded. Thus the world begins to fall apart as cities that depended on trade (and were easily accessible by airship, but not so by the ground) are begining to falter and die off. Go to Comment
Nethernimbus
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Other)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-09-29 11:36 PM
I don't read any mention of these being flying ships of any sort. The line open-air gallies seems to indicate an open top ship rather akin to the Viking longship, as opposed to a closed in ship with a deck...rather than an actualy flying ship. Go to Comment
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