I like it! While it is detailed with things such as speed and special abilities, i would use this sub for a much simpler purpose: simply to give more detail than "some wings sprout from your back."
the demonic ones sound fun!
"With the wail of fallen souls and a sickening echo of flesh tearing apart, a gaping wound appears to open on your back. Akin to how you imagine a demonic chilbirth would appear, two leathery, batlike wings push forth from the crevasse, falling limply to brush on the ground before flicking taut, spraying excess blood and gore across the room." Go to Comment
How can I not love this! It takes on a single focused game aspect (Wings) and tells you everything you need to know about them for game purposes. This is the type of article I'd immediately throw into me' olde gm binder, if I was still doing that these days :)
I've had at least two flying dreams that I can remember, but in none of them did I ever need wings. I would never allow them for my campaign, except possibly in potion form.
For this to work in a campaign, it would probably be wise to introduce everyone in the party to some form of wings at the same time. Maybe in a floating world setting, they could start out with some simple wings with limited charges/range or something.
Isn't eagle a weird choice for fastest wings? I dunno if eagles are all that fast, Hawks on the other hand.
When I reached wings of the tinker, I had to doublecheck to see if your sub wasn't listed as silly. Pontoons and crossbows and rocket boosters, oh my! That's why I hate traditional gnomes. I'm imagining a godawful version of batman standing on pontoons.
You got some bad parsing in your first quote box.
"It does not grant any particular affinity with dark powers - the origin of the aura is plain them." Go to Comment
I like it! A quick read, but plenty of imagery to paint the location in my mind; also, the fact that it's lighter on detail makes it more adaptable to individual campaigns.
Personally, I think I would just use this as a somewhat random encounter in a cave system. The group has to travel through a cave system through a mountain. Nobody told them about this odd, crystal chamber... Odd shapes can be seen moving within the crystals, and halfway through a cacophony of screams and jeers break out... In come the undead horrors, and finally, someone gets possessed and is sent off to try and break the massive crystal in the middle.
No fore-warning about the area (except maybe a myth/story about it), and let them figure out the horrors for themselves! Go to Comment
Start with an interesting image and real-life phenomenon, add demons and cultists and weave in Clathrates to fantasize it, sprinkle in a die rolling table, pinch of spirit-trapping, and voila, we have a winner!
My favorite line is the one about cultists trapping themselves in the crystals to avoid a long and slow starvation. Go to Comment
I like Sveridan's Torch - it makes him seem a touch necromantic through demonic power; creating 'undead' thralls by enshrouding his victims to do his bidding.
Also, that they are manifestations of gluttony make sense - they live to consume everything.
A worthy, wily demonic lifeform - I am interested to hear of the demon which these creatures are spawned from. Go to Comment
Bits and pieces of this seem slightly unpolished compared to your normal work, but that doesn't detract significantly from the overall piece. I enjoy the idea, and can see a number of uses almost immediately for these.