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Creations of the Lord
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
strom's comment on 2006-03-08 11:43 AM
Updated: I will clean this up and scroll it as soon as possible. Go to Comment
Creations of the Lord
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-03-08 10:30 AM
Okay a couple of things.

Confusing, yes a bit.

Unless you slog through all the free-text linked things, you have no idea about who The Lord is. Some introductory text about these three races would be nice.

These should of been three different posts linked by a codex, or at minimum a scroll (introduction being the king post), each race being its own scroll post.

Context and explantion is needed.

They seem to be minor races, yet you marked them as PC races... so we need more information about them and what their society (or their part in the larger society) is like.

While I am not against short postings by any stretch, this post is more a short hand listing for people who already know what is going on.


Vote to be updated post edits Go to Comment
Creations of the Lord
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-03-08 09:53 AM
It shows promise,I think. Go to Comment
Rise of the Fallen (1st campaign)
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
strom's comment on 2006-03-21 02:44 AM
Yeah. I didn't like leaving it that way, but I have not worked out the full direction I am going to finish that story with. So, for now, I am trying to find time to describe Ishtar and it's scenarios.

Also, I'm working alot lately, and really don't have as much time as I would like to write. I shall, however, nail this out; hopefully you will like it. Go to Comment
Rise of the Fallen (1st campaign)
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
Chaosmark's comment on 2006-03-10 09:19 PM
Well, I like this beginning. It definitely shows promise. And whilst I'm not sure if it was intended or if it'll be noticed if this isn't said, I can see some definite Biblical (Or rather, Torah-cal) influence in some of the stories. It shows some promise, but it seems unfinished. Part D is a small paragraph and just cuts out mid-thought. It's like you just up and left the keyboard.

Once 'tis modified further, the vote may or may not change. But don't be discouraged, I definitely think it shows potential. Go to Comment
genetic alchemy
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-03-11 10:17 AM
It is incomplete. It really needs to be moved into your work space to avoid unwanted attention.

What is here looks like an odd monster list. There seems no real linkage between these creatures. Go to Comment
Crystal Goblet of Maddening Storms
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
strom's comment on 2006-02-07 02:26 AM
I'm glad you liked it. I needed to add one more detail, though. Just forgot to put in the curse column why Ammoggon's power failed him in his final battle. Go to Comment
Crystal Goblet of Maddening Storms
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-02-06 08:35 AM
Good detail, and I especially liked the ongoing weather commentary throughout the history section of the item. Go to Comment
Crystal Goblet of Maddening Storms
Items  (Other)   (Cursed)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-02-06 12:41 PM
I like it too. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
strom's comment on 2006-01-30 03:11 AM
Updated: Been gone a while and figured I would clean-up this up as requested. My first attempt was just to get an idea on paper; so it was a little messy. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-12-09 08:58 AM
Guys, Strom has not been here in a really long time. You can vote now and hopefully edit your vote later (if Strolen has fixed that bug). Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-02-04 08:06 PM
A group of assassins with a good reason for existing. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2005-12-08 09:56 PM
I agree with sparK!, I will hold my vote. A nice basis for something bigger. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2005-12-17 04:58 PM
Perhaps we could have a small R.I.P note next too the names of those that has not logged on for a year or so? Anyway, I produce a 3.0 for a good solid idea.
Perhaps one day it may be expanded. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2006-02-04 06:13 PM
New vote for a splendidly updated post, I produce a 4.5. Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
KendraHeart's comment on 2005-12-27 06:19 PM
Blah Uberpsychics who are assassins. If they were Gods, they would need this assassin gig. Pointless Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Spark's comment on 2005-12-04 01:31 PM
A neat idea - they're very powerful, but their sometimes unwanted nature makes them balanced as well as seeding the ground for many potential quests. However, a little backstory would be nice, and I would like a way to combat them - for instance, If a PC wishes death upon a friend in heat, and refuses the offer, he should not become a lost cause. Also, is the society led by a person (with meetings and messages and such), or is it divinely controlled by the influence of a God (who organizes them subconsciously)?

I haven't voted yet, so if you want to elaborate I'll wait. A cool start, but (I) want to see more! Go to Comment
Gods will
Society/ Organizations  (Criminal/Espionage)   (World Wide)
Spark's comment on 2006-02-01 03:51 PM
Much better. An elaborate backstory and a reason for existance. Thanks for sticking to your word! Go to Comment
Barak 'The Beast' Gohern
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2006-01-10 08:37 AM
Barak "the Beast" Gohern.... I have read that name in some Forgotten Realms supplement somewhere, sometime! Go to Comment
Barak 'The Beast' Gohern
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
spartanfan's comment on 2005-01-05 01:35 AM
I liked the original version in the Myths section better. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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