Short, but the comments make up for it. :)

Now, what would happen in this town full of working undead, if someone were to cut the rope... Go to Comment

This seems a little rushed. Short can be sweet, but it needs to "Say it all" as well. So you do not have to write ten more pages, just enough to make sense and be usable! Go to Comment

Welcome to the Citadel, Ryanator!

I see this interesting little item abused by Mr. Gardener or perhaps by other lawmen. Short on farmers for this year's harvest? Black Jack's execution date just got bumped up. Need to finish building the new manor before his Majesty arrives? Some convenient evidence connects Scarface Jones to a recent murder.

That's to say, it's a great idea. I'd love to see it fleshed out more. How was it created? Who's this Solomon guy? All of Muro's questions could use some exploring as well.

I thus hold off my vote until you're able to hammer it out some more. But, as I said, a great start. Hope to see more from you! Go to Comment

Interesting idea, but somewhat confusing. I kinda like the idea of criminals "further" punished after death, but then again, the zombie doesn't know its a zombie, does it? In other words, how is that further punishment necessarily for the criminal? Also, what happens to all these criminal zombies? Servitude of some kind?

Oh and welcome to Strolens! :) Go to Comment

Not offended at all! No worries.

mea culpa, I may have missed that line, which would mean that I'm an idiot since this is only 7 lines long. (i crack myself up). However, if that line was added after an update, I'm in the clear ;)

Giving this a second read, I'll go with, "What Dozus said." I'd also happily re-vote if some more info is added, fleshing this out a bit. Go to Comment

This could also be a bit more with a bit more time, but it is a good idea for a magic item. Go to Comment

Also will hold off vote. Basically agreed with comments on more details. However, differing quite a bit on my interpretations from Muro. I thought the part about "These zombies are mentally aware" means that these zombies are aware of what happens to them (I mean they might not work out they are zombies at first but they are capable of working it out). Also, the part about servitude is pretty clear to me though not in great details. But then, I agree with Muro that the why of it needs to be worked out further.

P.S. Muro, hope I haven't offended you. I'm simply telling of my interpretations on the issues raised, which just happens to be different from yours. I've noted, however, that you commented before the post was last updated. Possibly that's where the discrepany came in. Go to Comment

This is what I'm talking about. Dozus, you are the kinna person I love writing for. The one who takes someone elses babies, and the ever so gently adds to them, kinda making them your own. The concept is great ryanator. A++ Go to Comment

This has such potential. The idea of lawmen abusing the item, a society that is entirely accepting of the dead wandering around, moral issues of whether this is inhumane since their free will is stripped. And my personal favorite:

*cleric walks into a town full of zombies* 

"AAAAHHH!" *Greater Turn Undead*

"Noooo! without those laborers we're going to starve this winter! You fool you've killed us all!"

Go to Comment

It's a nice start, but Mike did cover the missing parts quite well. It should be more than a ring of invisibility with a modifier. Go to Comment

What happens if a man tries to wear it? Glowing how? Is there actual light eminating from this precious stone? Who made it and why? Some questions that need answering.

There is a spark of something that can be quite good here. Short pieces are not a bad thing, but they still need to cover some basic information.

Welcome to the Citadel!

P.S Will hold my vote on this one in case you decide to add more to it. Go to Comment

First - Welcome to the Citadel!

I have to agree with both Mike and Manfred. This really needs a lot more to it. Go to Comment

Good start. A++ Go to Comment

Ok, but I think it needs a little more to set it apart from the typical ring of invisibility. Forged by a witch for use by witches, would it make sense to have the ring behave differently in the hands of a true witch as opposed to any female?

What about warlocks (or whatever name you care to use for male witches)? What is it about being female that sparks the magic of the ring? Is it that all females are supposedly witches at heart? ;) Go to Comment