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Replacements for Hobbits
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Spark's comment on 2006-02-22 08:36 PM
This has some good potential, if only some more people would make some adds... Go to Comment
Replacements for Hobbits
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
necromancer's comment on 2006-03-21 03:25 PM
Updated: Ok i accept failure no need to rub it in. Go to Comment
Replacements for Hobbits
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-04 08:09 AM
The Gelflings in the Dark Crystal fill a similar role to Hobbits I think, and get up getting it far worse.

I think this idea is a good one as Moonhunter said, and could have benefited from some more 'marketing' :)
Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-02-02 02:06 PM
Someone watched Gladiator (or similar movie, as this is a stock plot in the gladiator genre) and made a fantasy copy.

All that history, and all he is is an invincible fighter with a small band of revolutionary that don't do much since their army was smashed. Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-02-04 01:24 PM
There is nothing wrong with your entry. There is nothing that right about it either. It is long, but uninspiring. You give us all that build up, and all he is, in the end, is just a nearly undefeatable warrior with a small rag tag band of rebels. The Undefeatable warrior is cliche. A small band of rebels is uninspiring. What is he doing now? Really?

Too much build up. It think we would of been more inclined towards the post had it not been so long and complete... detailing this epic figure. Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-02-04 01:13 PM
All those gladiator movies kind of blur together after a while. I was thinking Sparticus, but I had seen Gladiator recently... oh well. I never claimed to be perfect. Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-02-03 12:11 PM
I'm Spartacus!

No! I'm Spartacus! Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2006-02-03 05:14 PM
Nah. You did good, but our crew of experienced gamers had seen it before. Hardly your fault, you gave it a good go. Spartacus is awesome by the way. I used to read about him over and over when I was younger. Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
necromancer's comment on 2006-02-03 03:26 PM
Updated: Wrong its based on sparticus all the way. And every reference to battle is from David Gemmell. I take back what I said about you always being right. Anyway is that all? Is there nothing actually wrong with my submission? Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
necromancer's comment on 2006-02-08 02:14 PM
Updated: I suppose thats the closest to a complement i'm going to get from you. Still I guess that I can do something about the invincibility thing. Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-29 09:42 AM
Its well detailed and written, but the story is well travelled. The druidic influence is nice, but it really needed something to pull it away from its very strong inspiration.

Go to Comment
Calgrind
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
punkcasher's comment on 2009-03-14 12:26 PM
The general who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking story! But now, the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. And what could be more glorious than to challenge the Emperor himself in the great arena?

Good stuff !

:0 Go to Comment
Ivory armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-01-27 03:23 PM
A couple of things.
Ivory is bone, so this tiger like animal has bony protrusions? And they are long?

The first part of the description seems to be part of the history. The remaining part of the description is unclear.

The writing is unclear. This needs much more editing. Perhaps you should return this one to your working space, and bring it out when it is complete. Go to Comment
Ivory armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-27 07:12 PM
I don't like the 'you can't use this without permission or nasty people will come and beat you up' aspect of the armor. AS for the Kyters, I coudl see there being kind of a goldrush on their natural supply of ivory, millionares spending a thousand gold pieces for a dozen eggs sort of rush. Go to Comment
Ivory armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2006-02-21 06:28 PM
A good solid idea, but I must agree with Moon when he states that this is somewhat unclear.
I think I got the point, but you should make sure that I get the point in the post. Open ends are only attractive to create an air of mystery, not confusion.
Still a 3.0 though, if you update this I will update my vote accordingly. Go to Comment
Ivory armor
Items  (Armor)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-20 01:39 PM
Okay, armour created from Ivory is not too far-fetched - lacquered wood and boiled leather both make reasonable armours. I could see alchemists involved in the preparation of the substance but not in the actual construction of the armour.

Apart from Moons comment on Ivory being bone (its not, similar, but different) his comments are spot on.

Go to Comment
Oraburg
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-01-22 02:30 PM
I have to agree with Scrasamax. The religion should be a seperate post. The city itself is fairly bland, it needs some details (besides the theocracy) to make it interesting. Why don't you check out the City Image codex. While it has specific rules for its posts, it can give you a feel for some telling details that can be used on any city post. We also have some city posts (location, city, and see the list....) Go to Comment
Oraburg
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
MoonHunter's comment on 2007-02-01 11:50 PM
Theocracy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theocracy

Communism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism

I
think yours is more of a socialist system with the "people in power" being part of a religious group, rather than "a party". Go to Comment
Oraburg
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-22 02:02 PM
I think that the Society of Prophets should get it's own post, and delve into some of it's power players and history. The city itself is rather bland, and could benefit from some detailing that would set it apart from the average city. Go to Comment
Oraburg
Locations  (City)   (Plains)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-01-22 01:57 PM
Interesting. A theocracy. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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