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Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-05-02 03:57 PM
Vague vague vague.
This character's backstory is very vague.
Vague pretty much describes it.
Flesh out the backstory, give him more depth. Add more personality, if you could.
Final verdict...

3/5. Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-05-03 08:56 PM
Hey, I understand perfectly krichi... I mean krachui... I mean...
Whatever your name is! Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-05-09 03:06 PM
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
MoonHunter's comment on 2004-05-01 02:12 AM
This is a good post that is just a few touches away from being a great post. Just a few more pieces of depth in terms of motivation and history (explanation about the vauge hooded ones on the top of what I would like to see), and this will be a perfect five star NPC. Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
MoonHunter's comment on 2004-05-03 11:57 PM
Vague, to a point, is good. But, for example, a general idea who the hooded ones are (Cthulu-esk cultists, Illuminati, A cabal of necromancers, the local Pro-Human/ anti-non-human league, or is it a litch) would be helpful. We don't needed pointed details, just a direction to go. Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
MoonHunter's comment on 2004-05-09 03:22 AM
That is your opinion. I personally think that editing the entry is a good thing. After you edit, you leave a comment saying you edited. Then people reading all this will know to look at everything after the edit.

If they don't edit it, we just have either crap or something have to delete. If they do edit it, we might have something to keep. Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
Obsidian Shadow's comment on 2004-05-01 01:15 AM
krichaiushii...that's an interesting name. Never seen you before on this site, so if you're new, welcome.

Anyway, your NPC intrigues me to no end. I love the realism of Johann, his age, his wounds, his past, everything. I would advise that you add more depth to your NPC and his history.What are his goals? Motivations? Dreams? Desires?
Also, who are these "hooded ones"? How can your character be of use to other NPC's passing through the area? Just a few topics you might want to hit on should you revise this NPC.

This NPC has the potential to become something great, and with just a little more polish, it will be.
4/5 Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
krichaiushii's comment on 2004-05-03 08:09 PM
I made it vague for easier usage by others.

If specifics is what you desire, I shall think on it... Go to Comment
Lord Johann Coldwater
NPCs  (Campaign)   (Political)
krichaiushii's comment on 2004-05-06 09:41 PM
I added what Coldwater and his companions know and fear.

My description fits at least two types of creature. Many more, if you add multiple levels in spellcaster class(es) of your choice. Go to Comment
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