This is a good post that is just a few touches away from being a great post. Just a few more pieces of depth in terms of motivation and history (explanation about the vauge hooded ones on the top of what I would like to see), and this will be a perfect five star NPC. Go to Comment
Vague, to a point, is good. But, for example, a general idea who the hooded ones are (Cthulu-esk cultists, Illuminati, A cabal of necromancers, the local Pro-Human/ anti-non-human league, or is it a litch) would be helpful. We don't needed pointed details, just a direction to go. Go to Comment
That is your opinion. I personally think that editing the entry is a good thing. After you edit, you leave a comment saying you edited. Then people reading all this will know to look at everything after the edit.
If they don't edit it, we just have either crap or something have to delete. If they do edit it, we might have something to keep. Go to Comment
krichaiushii...that's an interesting name. Never seen you before on this site, so if you're new, welcome.
Anyway, your NPC intrigues me to no end. I love the realism of Johann, his age, his wounds, his past, everything. I would advise that you add more depth to your NPC and his history.What are his goals? Motivations? Dreams? Desires?
Also, who are these "hooded ones"? How can your character be of use to other NPC's passing through the area? Just a few topics you might want to hit on should you revise this NPC.
This NPC has the potential to become something great, and with just a little more polish, it will be.
4/5 Go to Comment