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Arin 'Windfall' Halfleaf
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
EchoMirage's comment on 2005-04-19 05:01 PM
Aaaaaand... whatis his personality like? What did he want from life before getting the cute long ears?

Slightly amusing. Go to Comment
Arin 'Windfall' Halfleaf
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-04-19 11:32 AM
This is just sometihng that I came up with, kind of a fighter with a selfconflict of sorts. Anyway hope you like it.
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Arin 'Windfall' Halfleaf
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-04-20 04:53 PM
before he attained the long ears, he was rather mischievious. he would toss behives in to open windows and cut part of ropes you know typically teenage pranks. but after words he still had the mischief but to a lessor extent, because now a strong wind will knock him off balance.
as a fighter he is fairly chivalrus he always looks after the little guy, especially those picked on because of diformities, and is now very vengfull, and depending on what is said will snap on must people about his ears.
he will also never strike on anyone that doesn't first strike on him.
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Arin 'Windfall' Halfleaf
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-29 10:39 AM
An okay character - little more than an idea, but it could still be used. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2005-03-30 08:40 PM
Way, way, waaaaaaaaaaay overpowered.
I'm not sure if I'm feelin' the story either. But, y'know, whatever.
It isn't totally far gone, and the author has shown interest in improving it, so I'll give it a...

2/5. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-03-30 04:19 PM
I would give it a 2/5, it has many redeeming qualities.

Okay lets try the constructive criticism route.

1)Format: Put an extra return between paragraphs as it is a huge boost in readability.

2)The story is huge and mythic... great for a story, but awful for an rpg.

2b)Inserting this as a background piece in the world, as the world is waiting for "the choosen one". So as just a piece of color in the world, that will have no bearing upon the campaign then it is merely okay. Maybe you might enter the temple looking for something else.

2c)Inserting this into a game would require one person to be "the choosen one", who would then overshadow everyone else because he has the uber weapon. Lets do an example... Elric and Stormbringer. Name anyone else along for the ride besides MoonGlum (and kudos if you remember him). You can't. Why? Because they are the two epic powers. Remember that you won't have just one player, and most players do not like to be continuously second or third bannana.

2d) If you give this to an NPC, you have just made the PCs extras in their own campaign... as the wielder and the sword become the important parts of this world.

3) So the weapon can auto kill, resurect, and can judge people? If that is not uberpowerful, then either we are all reading it wrong or perhaps the way you have presented it is not clear.

3b) Actually the powers and the use of the weapon are ill defined. Except when judging, it is a normal sword. When it is not judging. More details and explanations please. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2005-03-31 12:49 AM
First of all, i'd like to say Congrats on yer first post, and welcome to the citadel, Knight. Now! On to the item.

In terms of spelling and grammar, not too bad - perhaps you should read over some of the things you write to make sure it fits, but all in all, it's not bad.

I agree completely with Moonhunters no.2 point - I enjoyed reading of the battle between the two great powers, and seeing Corus's own sword turn against him. This is a great historical item with a mythological background - I could see drunken 'heros' talking about it in taverns. But this is never the weapon that could ever be wielded by a player, or their enemies. The sword should always be there, but there should never be a chosen one. It's nice as a physical aid to a religion, perhaps.

Now, there IS an interesting 'curse' to the weapon that you could play on: Judgement doesn't care who is wielding it - it judges both sides of the party. If in the first two instances a 'hero' uses that sword and is found on the 'innocent' side, he might start getting a bit cocky. If he then is so arrogant as to think that he could mow through a third enemy when he could easily spare that creatures life and go around it without it knowing, the judgement might find the hero as a sinner. And since it is so powerful, there is no 'second chances' in this. You make the wrong choice, you die. The end.

So anyway, definitely too powerful, but it shows some promise, nonetheless.

2/5 Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2005-03-30 12:59 PM
Oooooh... who rated this a 5? Naughty, naughty. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
EchoMirage's comment on 2005-03-31 03:10 AM
When I first saw it, it had three lines... anyway, now - well, an artifact of great power, not useable in most settings as but a background item... and that should have more juice. 2/5 Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Cheka Man's comment on 2005-03-30 03:23 PM
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2005-03-30 01:05 PM
"Whoever" voted this as a 5: I cannot agree with you.
From me: A glorius 1/5.

Reason: Pure munchkin. It has no story except that it was made for a God to judge sinners. Other than that it does nothing except slaying.

Take a look at other posts to learn how to make proper items. Shadoweagle is an adept tutor, and his style would probably be to your liking. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2005-03-30 05:15 PM
As for the reasons why I gave 1/5: The post had 3 lines when I first read it. He has obviously edited it. Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-03-30 12:43 PM
I hope you like this idea for a weapon. just wanting to say that it doesn't have to always be a bastard sword but can also work well as a katana, but large or short swords draw away to much speed and that is exactly what Judgment needs to function right, because fate strikes fast if you cross it the wrong way. ~~ Go to Comment
Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-03-30 01:45 PM
Ancient Gamer explain to me what else I can add to it. but until then I will have to disagree with the 1/5 remark. but critizism is accepted I will work on it.
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Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-03-31 12:44 PM
I took in mind some of your thoughts and redid the item some I hope it works for you this time.
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Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
knightsceam's comment on 2005-03-31 02:00 PM
ShadowEagle help me out. tell me things I can do to improve this.
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Judgment
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-29 10:27 AM
Another submission that is better as fiction or background myths. Moonhunter and Shadoweagle have covered off all of the important points. Go to Comment
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