I like it, a magical item that, while pretty damn attractive to use, has enough of a drawback to make people not want to use it. Also, it's got enough legend in it's background to fit in a low magic world.
What is the fail safe? Do they die if they wear it too long, see something so horrible that they go mad, does it just stop working, does it give them false information, or what?
Also, can they only wear it for thirty minutes total, or thirty minutes at a time?
Is this something that you could have on your person without being activated?
Does the penalty only kick in every time it's activated, or every time you take advantage of the benefit, or is it a steady drain type of thing (as in for every X minutes you have it activated, you age four years)?
What effect does this have on races/particularly powerful people who don't age like normal people (elves, sentient undead, high level monks in the D&D system...)? Go to Comment
Okay, do me a favor, will you? Will you hit edit submission, scroll down, then start reading what you wrote OUT LOUD. I want you to insert all the words that you missed, then I want you to correct all the wrong words you used. You should have to read it out loud about three times.
Oh I like this one!!! Can it show what number is coming up on the dice before you roll them????? LOL!!!! Does it allow enough time to place a bet on the ponies???? LOL!!!
This is a really great idea!! Go to Comment
It's definitely a good try, and its fairly creative, but it needs a lot of polish. You really need to spell out the effects more. What if you use it for 30 seconds? Does it still take 4 years, the same as if you used it for 30 minutes? Seems like it would be better as a gradual thing, as in you age a year for every 30 minutes, expressed as a rate instead of a flat number (which equals 48 days per minute, or .8 days per second - Of course you could adjust the rate to clean up these numbers, if you felt like it.) And yeah, it also seems like immortals (or those with really long lives) would get a lot of benefit from this item with little to no sacrifice. If this is not the case, specify that the rate depends on the creatures lifespan, or that it won't work for immortals. Thanks.
Edit: Plus, the grammar and writing style needs a lot of work, too. Go to Comment
The Akhal-Teke is a real horse breed that develops a metallic golden coat. A more fantastic version could have a coat the color of pure gold, or silver making the horse appear to be made of the precious metal.