In the interest of helping a newer member, I'm going to post and vote upon this. Hopefully my advice will be taken to heart.
1) Run the post through a spell checker. Yes, it takes an extra 30 seconds, however, it can make a post that much more readable.
2) Work on your grammar. Some of the tenses are mixed and jumbled, and that alone will take a full point off your rating.
3) While I think that he has potential as a character, at the moment he just seems...Lifeless. He's there, he has the big bad weapon, and he has the special abilities. What he doesn't really seem to have is anything more than a superficial background. What, for example, are the Lost Treasures of the Dragonwright? What is the Church of the Black Rose? What the heck is the Dragonwright anyway? These are things that you might know, but we have no clue who or what they are. Explain explain explain. Go to Comment
Just off the road a man lies dead, pierced through the heart from behind by an expertly thrown and ornate dagger which remains in the body. A long strip of cloth torn from the man's shirt has been tied around his neck; on the tag end an unknown hand has written a cryptic inscription: "For Djaygo."
When you get to the next town, everyone is talking about a mercenary woman found slain in exactly the same fashion in her room at the inn where she was staying.
Encounter ( Other ) | February 26, 2014 |