The best of the trio, the gloves have some promise, though i think that each item granting regeneration is a bit much, a play could easily swath themselves in repellant troll bit magic items and end up with +3 or more regeneration a turn. Too stackable, and lacking in detail.
It is one thing to leave a submission open ended for adoption into anyone's home campaign, it is entirely another to take something from a video game and drop it in with the most minor of modification. Go to Comment
A definate improvement. The backstory gives the rest of a feel for the item, where it came from and the reason it was created. In accordance, I have increased my vote for this it from a 2 to a 3. Go to Comment
I agree, and you can see my explanation on this in further detail in the bone now submission. But this site is not set up for a quick two paragraph idea and the rest just fill in the blanks. We enjoy as much information as we can, and then choose to tailor what we need or don't like for our particular setting. Go to Comment
The reason I left the history is so open is because I prefer to tailor that to fit the party, campaign, and world. I find the players enjoy it much more when it actually relates to them, then some generic history that will not fit every world anyway.
In my game, the gloves were created by the mage in the party as a gift to the monk because he was having difficulty in battle. The Troll is an evil creature, so the monk had no issues using it's own weapons against it, and actually liked that he could use something that was once used by evil and turn it to the destruction of evil.
IMHO, the very best thing you can do as a GM is tailor everything to your PCs. I almost never use standard items in my campaign, and even when I use someone elses idea, I create a new histoy and description to fit the PC recieving it. I include thier name, god, where they got it, anything I can to make it special for them. Makes it hard for me to write a history that will apply to anyone, anywhere. :(
As far as the other ways of putting things, that I can do. Go to Comment
Feel free to play around with the formatting a bit, simply putting bold on the section headers will make it much better readable.
And as for the problem with sharing information: I would imagine that the hiring is done in 'secrecy' - so with only like twenty servants around. Of course, everybody in the palace will immediatelly know what the heroes are looking for, and will be doubly careful of what they say. The heroes could be suspected of wanting to lay blame on someone else than the princess. So if they ask too much in one direction... there will be quite some talk and intrigue on the court. Go to Comment
The names make the post a little hard to follow, but that is a minor detail, names can always be changed to protect the innocent. The plot seems solid enough, and with the best friend murderering the would-be groom out of love, this makes th eplot less than predictable. All in all the work is nice, I look forward to what else you might concoct for us. Go to Comment
This needs to be in a plot setting not a storyline setting.
Ok, it was good. I over all liked it. But I will explain why I liked it and my dislikes.
It is relatively detailed and thought out. A nice touch for a first submission.
It is a very classic tale of unknown love that can not happen. With three people involved indirectly to the plot this makes for a very confusing case for the players to determine who is at fault.
Why would all the servents hate Zaianna'athtria so much? It seems she is a very mean and vile eprson to have every one of her servents hate her and are glad she is found guilty for the murder of her husband to be. It says she is demanding of her servents, but what royal person isn't?
Why does Aza'athran love her so much? Have they had contact before of a personal nature? Does her servents know of this love? Is it a love that can not be and that is why it is so desired?
Why does Aza'athran have such a knowledge and desire to maintain that knowledge of poison craft. What of the other two people she had dealings with that came up sick or died? Why? This almost seems like it is about her and not the guilt of Zaianna'athtria.
It seems very hectic and spread out. A manhunt or bug hunt to find information either no one knows or is not willing to give out for any reason.
Why would the party be interested in finding out the truth? Her trial said she was guilty? Does her father hire the party to prove this innocence and would Aza'athran admit to her guilt should Zaianna'athtria be executed for this murder?
All of this needs ot be answer for me to give a higher rating.
Overall though I think it is very good. It just leaves too many questions for me. Go to Comment
It is meant to be difficult to determine who is at fault. If it were easy, there would not be much game. :)
The servents do not hate Zaianna'athtria, they just do not like her much. The only one that hates her is the Lady in Waiting, and I did say that was due to a past occurence. I did not say exactly what, as I think there needs to be room for the one to run it to add thier own flavor. The other servents do not have anything directly incriminating, only cercemstatial evidence. That is why they do not volunteer it.
I did state that Aza'athran is the best friend of Zaianna'athtria. So yes, I would think it would be safe to say that they have had a great deal of personal contact. I also stated that it was a secret love, so no, no one knows.
Her knowledge of poison is due to the first failed attempt at killing a lover of Zaianna'athtria. And it really is about Az'athran, not Zaianna'athtria. That is the point, to mislead and misdirect the players a bit, make it a challenge.
And I did miss the bit about the king hiring the party..my bad.
But it isn't that no one is willing to share the information, it is just that it is not easy to get it. I like to challenge my players to the max, but that is just me. It can easily be made a bit easier.
A tribe of barbarians appear wearing necklaces of bear claws and great cloaks of brown fur. They are physically much larger than normal humans, much stronger, and shrug of the most vicious of wounds. They call themselves the Aklak after their totem spirit.
- From the Inuit word for Grizzly Bear