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Grordrim
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-11-06 11:23 PM
....Hmmmm. Go to Comment
Grordrim
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-07-28 11:34 PM
After long reflection and self-discussion, as well as a holy vision quest/crusade/geas, and letter from the Dalai Lhama himself, I've decided that I still don't like this character. Go to Comment
Grordrim
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Maggot's comment on 2004-07-30 09:13 AM
Ahh,but you have always been a man of high standards and expectations,Captain Go to Comment
Grordrim
NPCs  (Major)   (Political)
Maggot's comment on 2004-07-30 09:13 AM
Ahh,but you have always been a man of high standards and expectations,Captain Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Agar's comment on 2003-11-07 02:29 AM
I also want to learn more, assuming your done posting what story you had.

What where the swords used for before? What makes them heirlooms? How did Hathil prove his fighting skills? If he's the head ranger, why doesn't he have some rangers under his command? Do both swords do the same thing or do they have seperate powers? Are the swords good? How can you tell and evil sword from a good one? Do swords that are good or evil have to be intelligent, have a soul, concience or otherwise; or can inanimate objects be good or evil? Will these swords scorch evil rocks or twigs? Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Agar's comment on 2003-11-07 02:55 PM
I'm just happy these swords don't kill anything in one strike.

I just want to know more about the background of the item. Good submissions are thought out, they have stories surrounding them. They aren't something just smacked out on a keyboard in between classes. Take some time to develope ideas and the submissions will show how much better that time was spent. Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-11-08 10:30 PM
Woah! Elfkin! Chill, man, chill! (Here comes my blanket metaphor again)
Think of it like this:
These swords are a blanket that you are weaving. It's a nice blanket, but there are some places where, maybe, you slipped up a little bit and left a hole, allright? When we give you criticisms on the item, we're helping you to patch up your blanket to make it even better! Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ylorea's comment on 2003-11-06 01:20 AM
ehhrrr oke, so we have (sort of a story, but I can not wait to read the rest.....

Hope to see some info on the swords as well... Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ylorea's comment on 2003-11-07 02:07 AM
Great story, but my question about the swords remains....

Oke, two experiments at once.... (see if I can edit my comment now and be a bit more positive)

If I read the magical properties correctly, you mean to say that the magic only functions when you are of pure elvenblood?

And the magic is capable of destroying (I would say any) weapon wielded by a evil person.

Hmmm, I think that by rewriting the magical properties section just a tiny bit, you just might have created a very good item here. Go to Comment
elphiniar and delfinsel
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
elfkin's comment on 2003-11-07 12:35 PM
Look i said it fought the evil long ago. I'm fourteen dude, I just started writing, I may not Be J.R.R Tlokien but, geez, maybe you think that everyhing has to be as good as you. Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
Agar's comment on 2003-11-05 01:45 AM
How do the dragons and griffions react when the control ends? Just confused beasts that fly off puzzling over why they were leveling a town?

Internal, not "eternal", organs really aren't that sensitive. I mean, really, have you felt your kidneys flexing lately?

When the staff is "harful"??? as a dry stick and hit repeatedly, will it cause a slight bruise on the target, or will the staff get the bruise?

And please, spellcheck. I apologise if you're not a native english speaker, but your post is hard to read. Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
Agar's comment on 2003-11-07 02:19 AM
If your writing skills do in fact need no improvement, your time management does. Don't rush to put stuff up, either have the time to contribute, or do it when you do have the time.

No one has had a liver burn up inside their body. No one knows what it feels like. A case of gas is probally worse. Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2003-11-06 11:21 PM
"I'm beating you with my powerful magic stick when I could be using to kill you with dragons!"
"Why?"
"I'm not sure!" Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
Ylorea's comment on 2003-11-05 01:18 AM
I like this item very much.... Very powerfull, but very very dangerous to use.... Still even good characters might be tempted to use it, even when the consequenses are known... Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
elfkin's comment on 2003-11-06 12:37 PM
Look, my writing skills need no improving though I was in a rush, I apologise myself for my lack of details but I shall do my best to correct my faults.
The staff is harmful as a stick when hit repeatitely on the target. The target will get hurt.

Um, have you ever had your liver burnt to a crisp inside your own living body? I doubt it's pleasant. Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
elfkin's comment on 2003-11-06 12:50 PM
And the dragons and griffins are aware of their controle though they are like puppets and are helpless. They will be veangefull to the one who put controle over them when the controle reaches it's end. But most times, the wielder is running far away before the end of the enchantement. Go to Comment
Staff of Dragoonias
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Villanous)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-09 12:32 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Ranfral
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Natural)
Strolen's comment on 2003-11-05 02:14 AM
I love sending royalty out into the world!

I think the poisoning of the father line needs strengthening though.
What poison were the orcs using?
Where did they get it?
Stuff along that line.

Could develop into a good villian behind the scenes if set up well and ensure that it makes more sense why behing poisoned by orcs requires an epic quest. Might be a quest to find out what poison was used in the first place by capturing the person behind the orcs...etc. Go to Comment
Ranfral
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Natural)
Ria Hawk's comment on 2003-11-03 05:43 PM
This is an interesting plot hook. It can even be used in a game not using the specifics. (Who is that peasant who begged the adventurers to help him on this quest? A heck of a lot more than he seems.) And if the players don't join up with him, they might find that staff first, and he'll want to take it away.
And, of course, even if his father recovers, the prince might just disappear so he can marry his girlfriend. Naturally, his bodyguards/advisors/father will simply not understand. ... Or maybe someone he trusts does, and encourages him to elope. And then while he's gone, the close friend seizes power. Or something. Anyway. Me likes. Go to Comment
Ranfral
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Natural)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-07-24 12:31 AM
How did this ever get such a high rating? I think it is vague, needs more detail and more background, and is generally just not gonna cut it.

2/5. Go to Comment
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