Do you have access to MS Word, or similar word processor? I would like you to cut and paste the submission into the word processor and run both a spelling and gramar check. Fix things. Then cut and paste it back into the submission.
You have a habit of making run on sentences. You forget basic punctuation. (Thought this is better than most of your submissions.) If we could clean up the langauge aspect of your submission, it has real potential. (It does need some additional details to flesh out the basic questions people have about things.) Right now, it is still too much work to read. Go to Comment
Ok... You get one freebie from me. I won't vote on this yet.
Looking at the size of this submission I could tell I was going to have issues with it.
You said this sentence three times...
this is the first of the four elemental weapons made by the high elves of Verasialles.
...This was said two times to many. This is a fine statement ot have in the summary box, but explain it a little more to us. Interesting name, it intrigues me.
Morthile - Ok a elven silvery metal... ok sounds like a number of different ideas but the name intrigues me as well, however explain why it is so special in the description. Why is it special, any special abilities, is it just extremely rare or is it divine metal? Something to explain to us why there are only four of these swords made of this metal. Or if there are more, why was this metal chosen over other more conventional metals.
The history section, since you are giving us specific names to deal with here, give us some more info on this. When in history, who made them or had them made, why were they made for these four champions, what was so special about giving them these four blades, etc. (Couldn't think of a what.)
Magical Properties - As with your swordmaster submisison, the abilities of this item are a bit over powered. At least the paralyzation for I assume sixy three (or 6D3 perhaps) hours is a bit much. A few minutes perhaps, but hours? Depending on the world your on that corelates into days... thats a long time. That pretty much menas one sole person can almost take on an entire army themself as long as they just nick their opponent they are down for a few days, nick move on to the next enemy, nick and repeat... That is way over powered. If it was a divine weapon I can see it lasting a little longer but not that long.
The cold fear sounds cool, not pun intended. But does it have a duration, a number of times it can be used in a single day? Does this weapon have any adverse affects if used poorly? Go to Comment
chilled. With all of your replies that you have given here I do not see why you have not worked any on repairing this submission. We all have given you plenty of helpful hints and ideas to get this into a wonderful submission but I am curious to know why you haven't taken the initiative to fix it. Go to Comment
In Azur, the streets are crowded, and the PCs' poor grasp of Azuran makes it hard for them to find out why. Still, they shoulder their way through the crowds, trying to get to the house of the renowned wizard they seek, when suddenly they realise they are standing very much alone. The crowds have ceased their talking and their gazes are fixed on the PCs. The imperiously clothed man standing before them smiles and speaks in Azuran: "Ah! Volunteers! And so eager too!"