Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
MoonHunter's comment on 2008-02-25 12:23 PM
Do you have access to MS Word, or similar word processor? I would like you to cut and paste the submission into the word processor and run both a spelling and gramar check. Fix things. Then cut and paste it back into the submission.

You have a habit of making run on sentences. You forget basic punctuation. (Thought this is better than most of your submissions.) If we could clean up the langauge aspect of your submission, it has real potential. (It does need some additional details to flesh out the basic questions people have about things.) Right now, it is still too much work to read. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-05-26 11:31 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-05-24 10:56 AM
5/5? I know I sometimes overvote but 5/5 is silly. 1/5 is more like it. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-05-24 08:59 AM
Ok... You get one freebie from me. I won't vote on this yet.

Looking at the size of this submission I could tell I was going to have issues with it.

You said this sentence three times...
this is the first of the four elemental weapons made by the high elves of Verasialles.
...This was said two times to many. This is a fine statement ot have in the summary box, but explain it a little more to us. Interesting name, it intrigues me.

Morthile - Ok a elven silvery metal... ok sounds like a number of different ideas but the name intrigues me as well, however explain why it is so special in the description. Why is it special, any special abilities, is it just extremely rare or is it divine metal? Something to explain to us why there are only four of these swords made of this metal. Or if there are more, why was this metal chosen over other more conventional metals.

The history section, since you are giving us specific names to deal with here, give us some more info on this. When in history, who made them or had them made, why were they made for these four champions, what was so special about giving them these four blades, etc. (Couldn't think of a what.)

Magical Properties - As with your swordmaster submisison, the abilities of this item are a bit over powered. At least the paralyzation for I assume sixy three (or 6D3 perhaps) hours is a bit much. A few minutes perhaps, but hours? Depending on the world your on that corelates into days... thats a long time. That pretty much menas one sole person can almost take on an entire army themself as long as they just nick their opponent they are down for a few days, nick move on to the next enemy, nick and repeat... That is way over powered. If it was a divine weapon I can see it lasting a little longer but not that long.

The cold fear sounds cool, not pun intended. But does it have a duration, a number of times it can be used in a single day? Does this weapon have any adverse affects if used poorly? Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-05-24 10:38 AM
Morthile is an extremely hard to make which makes it very valuable. Why? Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-05-26 12:36 PM
I still fail to see the updates to this sub. And while it could be a diamond in the rough its lack of updating to a comprehensible level turns me off to it.

Please read our comments a little more closely to see a way to update it to a the great standard it could be. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-08-31 05:21 PM
That sounds pretty good manfred. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2006-10-20 12:57 PM
chilled. With all of your replies that you have given here I do not see why you have not worked any on repairing this submission. We all have given you plenty of helpful hints and ideas to get this into a wonderful submission but I am curious to know why you haven't taken the initiative to fix it. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-05-24 10:25 AM
Updated: updating it by request Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-05-25 04:53 AM
i'll upgrade it as well as i can. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-05-25 05:05 AM
Updated: uprading this for my fellows. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-05-25 05:13 AM
cheers for the good comments Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-08-07 05:50 AM
Updated: i have up[dated this post as i saw that it contained a few errors which i have now rectified Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-08-09 10:39 AM
i'll work on it. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-08-25 05:41 AM
Updated: wasn't supposed to be in work. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-08-30 05:29 AM
i'll do my best, its goin to take quite some time though. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-10-13 09:00 AM
cheers for the help manfred, will try to use some of your help. Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-10-15 09:18 AM
why?, how come? ... Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-10-20 11:41 AM
it's only a name i'll try to think of another... Go to Comment
The Blade of Chill
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
chilled's comment on 2006-10-25 07:15 AM
i get the point, it's just that i've benn pretty busy as of late and haven't had the time, will update it. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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Mere tree

       By: celticring

at a place were magic gathers, for what ever reason, the trees of this place produce fruit that is filled with magic energies . these fruits when eaten cause different effects. much like the potion a wizard makes.

Encounter  ( Forest/ Jungle ) | February 28, 2010 | View | UpVote 5xp