This submission has a decent overview of a culture, but I have one major problem with it - it doesn't really connect together. It seems like a bunch of disparate elements just kind of stuck together. If farming is so difficult on this plain, then wouldn't it make more sense to be nomadic and follow the herd animals? But seemingly, farming is important to these people. If it is, go with that; don't feel compelled to weaken "farmers in hostile land" by saying "but they're mostly hunter-gatherers." Also, there's nothing here that distinguishes them as elves as opposed to humans or dwarves or any other people.
I think that there's a lot of potential in this submission, but you need to develop it a bit more to make that potential shine through. Go to Comment
An interesting take on the elves. Having tried to grow stuff myself, the idea of having a farm I could walk away from for a season and it still be there afterwards is almost less believable to me then elves :).
I like this sub overall- it does delve into sth unique for these plain elves although not a lot. One question I have remaining is that why are they forcing all puberty elves to move in with a different tribe that their birth tribe? To prevent inbreeding or some other reason? Nothing major that detracts from the sub but just curious. Go to Comment
This is a good start; I like the idea of a plains-driven culture of elves. You put this under advice requested, so is there anything in particular that you wanted us to comment on? In general, I would suggest that you consider a few of the following questions (to make this piece really pop):
On the plains themselves:
* Are there any unique flora/fauna that have developed here? If so, have the elves formed a special bond or relationship with any of them?
* Are there any special locations or natural resources which the elves can use?
On the elves:
* Are they the long-lived type of elves? If so, consider how their long lives would affect them while living on the plains. Forest-dwelling elves can take decades to grow a tree into the exact shape of a harp or bridge, for example. Do these plains elves have similar long-term goals, plans or works that they are a part of?
* Do they still use iron and do they have access to a steady source of it? If so, to what extent does this frame their culture now?
* How is their relationship now with the forest elves? Has their language diverged yet, or are they still culturally similar?
* Are there other races that live on the plains? If so, how do they interact with the elves? Go to Comment
I may not have made it 100% clear. They are nomadic. They do follow the herd animals. They also plant a farm during the spring, and let it be for the summer, then harvest during the fall. I'll go write that bit in now. Go to Comment
I would probably categorize it as fiction but it also definitely earns the location requirement of the guild as well.
I enjoyed it and thought it was a great location. As a GM, it would be cool to understand the mechanics of the beast, the illusion and the attacks but for what it is, a nice piece of fiction, I liked it! Go to Comment
I think this is great, we get a story and a location, well done. Thank you for writing this. I wish more subs took this tact towards locations or character, rather than just listing "facts". I feel inspired to do more in this tone, I hope you just raised the bar. I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say about it, but I really wouldn't change much, the story sticks to a tone, we learn a lot about the main character (mostly by what he choses to say and not say), and we get a whole encounter. These are the details you want in a setting. Plus you could take this whole piece and use it as a hand out. Go to Comment
I was going to do that at the end, and write up some of th gritty details of how things work, but I got tired of seeing it in my "in work" folder. So here it is. I'll probably go back and put a couple of things at the end at some point. Go to Comment
Read it but don't really want to vote on it in the current state. More of a stub in its current form, even though there is a lot of information it doesn't tell us anything. Even if we were running a pirate campaign or something. Not like we could get water from the place and the pull of turtles is the only thing a ship might find useful, but could say any island has turtles in fewer words. I would say maybe a 2.5 in its current state because, honestly (and I am sorry) there really isn't much to use. Like Dossta said, even if you disagree, each island needs a hook of some sort to make it useful to us. Yes, they all need to be PC orientated, that is our purpose here. We aren't wikipedia, we want stuff to use in our games.
That is why I suggest a stub. If that is your thought process for these, for it to be an island in the distance with nothing worth mentioning on it, it should probably be a stub to save you some low votes. Go to Comment