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The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-04 08:36 AM
I like how you re-worked the discussion section. I think this is a great idea for adding flavor and depth to a setting. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-24 12:38 AM
An interesting concept for a scroll. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
chaoticwaffle's comment on 2012-11-04 06:36 PM

It's pretty simple and probably stupid. I assume others have easily thought of this. But if we're talking about peasants and magic I think that indestructable tools would be almost a must have. The hoe that never breaks no matter how many fields you sow, the hammer that can forge as long as it has someone to use it. And conisdering most set-ups say that magically enchanted weapons are auto-indestructable to standard means(i.e. rust, wear and tear) indestructability doesn't seem like it'd be so hard to put on a tool.

Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
dustyjohnson's comment on 2013-06-19 11:08 AM
Wonder Pump

Designed for farmers needing irrigation in high lands, the concept of this pump is simple: a small box with a tube on either side and inside a small chip of loadstone. The increased gravity on one side of the box causes a mild sucking power. If a farmer hooks a hose up to the tube correctly, water will be sucked up through it and pumped out.

A party of adventurers might need to enlist the help of a farmer who has one of these to pump the water out of a dungeon for exploration purposes. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
dustyjohnson's comment on 2013-06-19 11:21 AM
Hunger Rations

Hunger rations are only mildly magical, a recipe passed down over generation for times of extreme hunger. By following the recipe, anyone - magical or not - can concoct a thin, hard-tack like bread out of water, dried grass or straw, tree bark, and a single drop of blood from the person making it. One batch makes 30 full meals of the rations. They have nearly no taste, are very dry, and do not fully satisfy the hunger in a belly no matter how much you eat, but they give all of the nutrition a body needs. Additionally, they can be fed to animals as well (if you can get them to eat the stuff) feeding them for the meal as well. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
dustyjohnson's comment on 2013-06-19 11:28 AM
Binding Wax

Whenever two people enter into a contract that is written down, a glob of binding wax may be placed upon the document and all parties involved press their seal or thumb print into the soft wax. If at any point after this any party breaks the terms written down in the contract, the wax will crack and turn a blackish color in the place where that person's mark is. When any party member fulfills the terms of the contract completely, their mark will turn a reddish color.

This type of seal can be used quite often in an adventure as characters contract to do a certain task for payment. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
Dozus's comment on 2012-10-30 02:36 PM
It's not a new idea per se, but it's well-written. I like it. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-30 12:37 AM
This is great, I like your style of presenting a story and not just facts. In fact the "Use" section could be seen as condescending. My opinions of this have changes for the years and I think if you are going list facts, you may as well toss in game states. I like that the sword bonds with people, and I would like to read more. What did the sword feel like when it hit the dragon for the first time?

The lost and found, lost and found cycle gets a little repetitive. I think that is more a matter of writing style and you could maybe get those encounters to pop a little more than they do. But the pay off is worth it. However would suggest adding some stuff about the kids, make the reader bound with them some.

Perhaps the kids get the sword down to play with it one day when dad is away. Then the sword has to make choice, get all fun and bloody or protect the kids by blunting his blows and shifting his balance. The fact that the sword would choose the kids well being over his own desires would add some weight to story.

Two questions:

Who is the sword talking to?

And how come the dragon gets a name and Hubert's kids do not? They seem more important to the sword's growth. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-30 10:09 AM
I get the repititiveness may be accurate for the story you are trying to tell, but perhaps a slight tweek of the language might make it a little more engaging. You start two paragraphs in a row with "XXXX picked me up next". This is a minor point, but it is one little thing you could polish up. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-10-30 05:38 PM
Damn that goes down smooth. Well done sir. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
valadaar's comment on 2013-11-08 11:37 AM
A good take on the intelligent sword, though perhaps a touch too powerful. The sword's morality seems to be quite varied.


Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
Ted's comment on 2012-10-30 06:43 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-30 07:56 AM
I think the protect the kids thing would be an excellent addition. And the kids should get names (latin, like the name of the sword and furis), too. Along with the wife. And your first question: if you're asking who the sword is talking to throughout the piece, then i would say itself. Or, if you're asking what, in the RPG that the sword is living in, the sword is talking to, as in how it manipulates its wielders, then I'd say it doesn't use such crass methods as actual speech, but more of a telepathic urging, making it easier to think this, harder to think that, and before you know it you're orc huntin'.

And the lost/found cycle thing- it gets a bit repititive to the sword, too. As it no doubt would to any magc item in your PCs pack. Go to Comment
Opprimere
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-30 04:16 PM
Update: Used axelerowe's suggestion and added a sword v self scene, as well as the names of the kids. Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Dossta's comment on 2012-10-16 01:03 PM
Hmmmm. The biggest piece of advice I can give at this point is to try reading your piece out loud to yourself. I find that reading my work aloud helps point out things like stilted dialogue, choppy sentence structure, and even some typos or spelling errors I missed the first time through. I wonder who killed off the goblins in the trees? Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Dossta's comment on 2012-10-16 04:05 PM
Actually it was an honest question :P The mayor just seemed too damn honest when he said he didn't know who killed them.  I probably failed a "Sense Motive" roll there, somewhere.
Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-16 03:13 PM
First: the last question. Just to make it sure to myself, is it sarcastic? as in, "Well, duh, its the mayor who killed the goblins." Or is it a legit, "Please, oh wise and merciful caesar193, tell us who killed the goblins! We shall give you a great many gifts in return for servicing our curiosity."

Second, thanks for the advice. I will go read it a loud right now. Perhaps it will help. Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-16 09:54 PM
So what you're saying is that a guy with an empty scabbard, with a sword left at the scene, can just say that he's innocent and of course he is? I mean, if that worked in the real world, lets go on a killing spree! Now, by this, I am neither saying nor denying whether or not he is innocent of these murders. But if you are wondering if he's guilty... I need to ramp up the suspicion. Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-16 10:12 PM
Update: Reworked the initial mayor-Luke conversation. Hopefully, the mayor looks... shadier. Especially since this is in a forest. or forst clearing, if you want to quote obscure line in the above piece at me. Go to Comment
The Mines
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
caesar193's comment on 2012-10-18 08:46 PM
I have not added to this for a while. I need to get into the bit with the goblins, but lack the time right now. Tommorrow you will get to see a bit of the goblin way of life. At least, i pray to Othamm that this is so. Go to Comment
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