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The Glenbeard Tunnels
Locations  (Country/ State)   (Underground)
Tusserk's comment on 2014-10-18 03:17 AM
Loved it... Never trust a dwarf, sneaky little bastard midgets Go to Comment
Ghost Ship
Dungeons  (Water)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Cheka Man's comment on 2012-11-21 11:56 PM
Very well done and interesting. Go to Comment
Ghost Ship
Dungeons  (Water)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Murometz's comment on 2012-11-23 12:36 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Ghost Ship
Dungeons  (Water)   (Rooms/ Halls)
DrTurtlesse's comment on 2015-02-28 02:14 PM
Cool! I agree with some of Forganthus' criticisms, but I like the basic idea that a personified object can also be subject to lycantrhopy/undeath. Go to Comment
Ghost Ship
Dungeons  (Water)   (Rooms/ Halls)
Forganthus's comment on 2012-11-22 06:36 PM
I really like the ships in the bottles. The image of tiny sailors boarding the PCs is an especially nice touch. The thing I liked the least was the "find-the-three-doors" puzzle, which reminds me of all the stupid, time-wasting puzzles that DMs have thrown at me. It could be made fun, or it might serve as a way to explore the ship, but the idea of adding keys makes me sad. What's worse is that the third word ("all") can be figured out pretty easily.

And how can a ship turn into a werewolf? What if a werewolf bites a bridge, or a bank, or a peninsula, or a fjord? It's almost cool, but not quite. I also don't like that the two main combats are both against wolves. Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
Strolen's comment on 2012-11-24 08:22 PM
It got loose at the end, but I loved it. Rise and fall of a Dwarven Empire. I think the end just needs to be more clear. I didn't get that nobody can go through it till one of the last lines. I just thought the place was haunted by ghosts and zombies. The place is too important to the world you created to just let lie. I see it being held still by humans. They have figured out ways to keep the undead at bay and/or lock themselves in certain safe areas after dark and can come out in the daytime. Besides the undead, I think there have to be some dwarves around (even coming in from another clan deeper in the mountains or something) that continue to have some kind of insurgency against the past with the hope of one day regaining it.

I like it a lot, the end just needs to be tightened a bit more to bring it all together in a solid understanding of the current state. I agree a solid 4 as is, but it could be upgraded with that fix and some better plot ideas.

Awesome, LOVE IT!! Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
Murometz's comment on 2012-11-16 11:17 AM
Well, it has dwarven feel for sure. I agree with axle for the most part, it is a good legend and history for a world, if a bit disjointed and mish-mashed together. Undead dwarves are fun. I particularly enjoyed the beginning, where you discuss the clans, geography, and societal notes. Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-12 07:33 PM
A mistake I have made often and still make is to be taken in by interesting narratives or attractive descriptions whenever judging a talk, proposal, paper or article. My first response to this was, aside from a banal enumeration of deaths, heavy recycling of the 300, and a ridiculously small area to have an epic battle, I loved it. There is so much here, religious dwarves, farming dwarves, dwarven politics, I wanted to write fan fiction about this half way through. Yet the content here in is about the pass, the dwarves that owned the pass and the battle that took the pass from the dwarves. This piece is only marginally about a dangerous ice filled valley run by mad dwarven demi-god and populated by vengeful spirits. It is even less about Hrothen, we learn more about his Axe then we do about him before the maddness.
 
I think you need to decide what this about, what you want to communicate to your audience. Does the fact that half the alliance humans died breaking down the east gate matter? Does the storm kill all the humans in the end? Does the hand ax to the head which took out the Bruetheron KIng matter? Perhaps a GM could use these details to make our undead a little more juicy, a crossbow slain undead would look different than a frozen undead. But that is the case why not write up that part yourself?

There is alot of good stuff here and great ideas, but it is not put together as cohesive or complete narrative or gaming resource.
Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-12 09:37 PM
I like the story, I think you have a great story. Is it the story you want to tell? Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-16 06:52 PM
I was torn as to how to vote on this, as dungeon write up it is weak sauce. As detailed write up of "historical event" it is fun, you get a bunch of stuff like this in your fictional world and you can start making in world literary allusions. And I actually muttered "Jerks!" when the Brutheron's charged though. So thanks I enjoyed it.

Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
caesar193's comment on 2012-11-12 08:51 PM
Yeah, I was thinking about how it fit together as a dungeon at the end. It was too sparse in the dungeon area to really be considered one. So what I think I'm going to do is just make it so the humans kill off the dwarven army, betray Brutheron (who can trust a turncoat like that?), and let the dwarves rebuild. Which would provide meaning to the description of the city. Maybe I can add a section about the war memorial where King Halfburth died... Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
caesar193's comment on 2012-11-24 08:43 PM
That is true. The Short Valley Pass is an important pass for travel and trade. I will go add a bit for that purpose. Perhaps the Holdarks provide a place of safe refuge during the times Hrothen's minions come out...?

Anyway, good ideas. I will go edit it presently. Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
caesar193's comment on 2012-11-24 09:10 PM
Update: Took up Stro Go to Comment
Hrothen's Gate
Dungeons  (Mountains)   (Doors)
HeroSword's comment on 2013-07-15 12:35 PM
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Strolen's comment on 2012-11-04 01:35 AM
Will be cool once you get a bigger list of stuff from round the Citadel. Added one of my old ones. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2012-11-03 09:02 AM

Wand of Stump Removal

A plain wooden wand with a gnarled head, much like an old tree root, the wand of stump removal will briefly animate a tree stump to uncoil it's roots and drag itself out of the ground. This only works on stumps that are still alive, and not dead half rotten things, and the animation only lasts for a few minutes. 


Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2012-11-03 05:25 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Murometz's comment on 2012-11-09 11:29 AM
Hmm, not what I was expecting from the title, but good idea nonetheless! Will endeavor to add an entry or two. Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-03 09:27 AM

Being that you are not seeking to tell a story with this, I take it you are looking at this as an academic exercise. I think before you continue on this path you need to define magic.

In Paul Radin's Book "Primitive Religion" Dover Publishing 1937 New York. He asserts that essence of magic is "coercion in the interests of our imperative organic needs-the satisfaction of hunger and the gratification of the sex instinct." He then points to the evidence that much of the religious material found in tribal hunter gather cultures or cultures with isolated and minimalist agricultural were focused on these areas. I assert that many of the cave paintings and stone age totems were attempt to appeal to supernatural force. The fertility goddess totems, the cave paints of hunts, may not have been records but reflected a desired outcome. Radin goes on to state that magic was "the only method predicated by man for establishing relationship between himself and the outside world."

So here are my question to you, where will your peasants in this imaginary world draw the line between magic and nature? When you cough is it because a spirit passed into your lungs? If you get a muscle cramp or indigestion, is it a curse? Will the sun rise if I don't sacrifice the heart of a warrior to it? Is magic an undirected force or does it possess a personality? Would you make a distinction between religious magic and secular magic? Why? Go to Comment
The Commoner's Tools
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-11-04 08:36 AM
I like how you re-worked the discussion section. I think this is a great idea for adding flavor and depth to a setting. Go to Comment
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