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Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Dossta's comment on 2013-05-21 08:25 PM
Not really my thing, but this is very well done. The quality of the write-up almost demands that it be used somewhere. I would guess that swamp residents are somewhat familiar with the flower and its effects (unless the flower is an invading species or other unnatural occurrence). They probably would have an antidote or some cautionary advice to give to the PCs. Then it's fair game to use against them. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Dossta's comment on 2013-05-21 08:27 PM
Actually, caesar has it right:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corps

If offering corrections, you should probably double-check yourself first -- I've almost made the same kind of mistake a dozen times, but Google usually saves me the embarrassment. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-20 10:02 AM
I was going to do that, but it would kind of be unfair to the PCs. They'd be trekking through some bog, and then suddenly they flee, raving about conspiracy theories and barbarians. And, naturally, there'd be a bunch of monsters in the swamp waiting to kill of lonely PCs. As well as Will o Wisps, that lure PCs to particularly dangerous areas because the PC thinks that light is his buddies' lantern. And all the other brilliant things a typical DM can do to make the PC's lives interesting.

Then again... I'll consider throwing in a mention of using either lethargy or fear. Maybe I'll change it to an increased interest in finding some Friar's Weed to spread the pollen around. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-20 10:06 AM
Yeah, there's is probably a tons of speling and gramer error in they're. I fixes up. Son.

;) did you enjoy that? Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-20 11:29 AM
Update: Fixed the errors that were described in the comments to me. I'll get around to the other errors. Eventually. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-21 11:25 AM
Update: There. I've edited it. Or should I say, for Gossamer's benefit, i've edeting its. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-20 09:24 AM
Shouldn't it be; "They're coming", rather than, they were coming?
I'll hold my vote till you clean it up a bit. Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-20 12:12 PM
Keep it up and you get a zero. :P Go to Comment
Friars Weed
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (Swamp)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-21 01:05 PM

Voted. Here are some more typos;


the barbaric races that trying to kill him.

(Besides the forgotten word, I would change, the barbaric races to just; barbarians).


result in the victim sitting down, lieing down


coating the tips of an archer's corps arrows.

(Not sure about this one, but I suppose you meant like a division of Archers? Meaning it should be, archer corp's).

Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-06 12:37 PM
I added the Oekaki graphic to help identify these subs a little better. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Strolen's comment on 2013-05-06 03:33 PM
I think it is a fun idea. The idea of it entrapping the victims and attracting the enemy to kill them is pretty darn neat. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-10 09:21 PM
The basic premise is solid, if a bit familiar. The specific mechanic by which this plant eats people is interesting, but I'm not sure I like the degree of perception required for "trap people, then call monsters." I might like to see a rework of that part if this were to be revisited.

That said, the drug use idea is great. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-05-06 10:26 PM
I like the opening line. People can deal with the facts, but there is a lot more to this...what is innocence, what is a monster, the flowers seem to have tapped into this oversoul of morality...and I am inspired by it. Wrote an Oekaki based on this Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-08 09:10 PM
Not bad - the only part that really jarred with me was the attraction of generic 'monsters' but I expect that is a result of the time limit. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-06 03:57 AM
What the score says. I think the underlying idea likeable and original but then there is one unanswered question that is nagging at me: You say that based on this flower's need for blood, it somehow "surely develop the capacity for innocence". I just find the logic of that too much of a jump. I mean, making ppl de-age (innocent) will make them less cautious and so more easily killed but surely that's not the only way to get blood.

Also, in general, I feel that this piece has somehow been rushed a little and could do with a proof-read. I normally don't deduct points for minor typos etc. but for this sub I sort of did because I felt some of the sentences relied on the readers to make the logical connections as well as having the typos. For example, when you discuss the downside of the flowers, instead of leaving things hanging, you could add in a sentence somewhere to say when ppl are not under the thrall of flower and are uneasy, they might move on and foil the flower's "scheme". Currently, it just trails off into a description of how ppl are trying to find a reason for the unease and I get a bit of a question mark on what this paragraph is trying to tell me. 

I don't mean to be somehow negative abt this sub as I think it a solid one but I just think that it would benefit from some editing.



Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-06 07:54 PM
Ah I see, I saw the freetext but I wasn't in the Citadel when Scras threw up his sub on Oekaki so I had no idea abt it being a challenge at all. But now that you've explained it, I think you have done very well given the context. Therefore, I will now be revising my vote accordingly. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-06 08:01 PM
A revote based on understanding of Oekaki, which was previously not accounted for. While I remain of the same opinion of the logic of the flower, I'm opting for a high score because I really appreciate the nature of the Oekaki challenge (and so I'm downgrading the point penalties on the logic part of the sub). Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
Dossta's comment on 2013-05-06 06:43 PM
I find the logic of the flowers a bit thin, but the concept is kinda cool. I'd like to know why they only grow around ruins and other abandoned places. Seems like they'd be a better weapon to be cultivated around the lairs and stomping grounds of the fey. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-05 12:36 PM
Another idea I had for these is their drug potential. If you want, it could be possible to chew or smoke or whatever these. It would give the person a massive high, while reverting them to more childish thoughts. Naturally, because they can only be found in dangerous, monster infested ruins, they would be quite expensive. A little reward for the PCs who survive they're experience with the Flowers of Innocence Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence
Lifeforms  (Flora)   (City/ Ruin)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-06 08:10 AM
May I direct your attention to the Oekaki free text? Oekaki is where you do a piece in 30 minutes. So, yes, you could say it was "rushed a little." If you follow the free text, you'll find the sub where Scrasamax explains Oekaki better than I could in a petty comment.

Anyways, if at some point in the future the idea of the flowers is proven to be good enough, I'll go through and exterminate typos and badly phrased sentences with extreme prejudice. Go to Comment
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