This is a good start; I like the idea of a plains-driven culture of elves. You put this under advice requested, so is there anything in particular that you wanted us to comment on? In general, I would suggest that you consider a few of the following questions (to make this piece really pop):

On the plains themselves:
* Are there any unique flora/fauna that have developed here? If so, have the elves formed a special bond or relationship with any of them?
* Are there any special locations or natural resources which the elves can use?

On the elves:
* Are they the long-lived type of elves? If so, consider how their long lives would affect them while living on the plains. Forest-dwelling elves can take decades to grow a tree into the exact shape of a harp or bridge, for example. Do these plains elves have similar long-term goals, plans or works that they are a part of?
* Do they still use iron and do they have access to a steady source of it? If so, to what extent does this frame their culture now?
* How is their relationship now with the forest elves? Has their language diverged yet, or are they still culturally similar?
* Are there other races that live on the plains? If so, how do they interact with the elves? Go to Comment

I may not have made it 100% clear. They are nomadic. They do follow the herd animals. They also plant a farm during the spring, and let it be for the summer, then harvest during the fall. I'll go write that bit in now. Go to Comment

I have no idea. I didn't put them there, I didn't want them there, but there they are. I did delete them once, but they're back. Probably just some ad. Go to Comment

Good questions. I put this under the advice requested for that reason- I felt it needed something more, but wasn't sure what that thing was. I'll add some of those things now. Go to Comment

I would probably categorize it as fiction but it also definitely earns the location requirement of the guild as well.

I enjoyed it and thought it was a great location. As a GM, it would be cool to understand the mechanics of the beast, the illusion and the attacks but for what it is, a nice piece of fiction, I liked it! Go to Comment

This seems more like a simple story and should be in the forums... unless I am missing something. Go to Comment

I wasn't saying I didn't like it, I just saw it as fiction... but to each... Go to Comment

I like this. It reads like a Lovecraft story, with the slow descent into madness and horror, and yet it still provides all the detail one needs to take this place and run with it. Go to Comment

I think this is great, we get a story and a location, well done.  Thank you for writing this.  I wish more subs took this tact towards locations or character, rather than just listing "facts".  I feel inspired to do more in this tone, I hope you just raised the bar.  I feel bad that I don't have a lot to say about it, but I really wouldn't change much, the story sticks to a tone, we learn a lot about the main character (mostly by what he choses to say and not say), and we get a whole encounter.  These are the details you want in a setting.  Plus you could take this whole piece and use it as a hand out.  Go to Comment

Update: Finally, its done! Go to Comment

I was going to do that at the end, and write up some of th gritty details of how things work, but I got tired of seeing it in my "in work" folder. So here it is. I'll probably go back and put a couple of things at the end at some point. Go to Comment

Update: As promised, and long-overdue, the details. Go to Comment

Read it but don't really want to vote on it in the current state. More of a stub in its current form, even though there is a lot of information it doesn't tell us anything. Even if we were running a pirate campaign or something. Not like we could get water from the place and the pull of turtles is the only thing a ship might find useful, but could say any island has turtles in fewer words. I would say maybe a 2.5 in its current state because, honestly (and I am sorry) there really isn't much to use. Like Dossta said, even if you disagree, each island needs a hook of some sort to make it useful to us. Yes, they all need to be PC orientated, that is our purpose here. We aren't wikipedia, we want stuff to use in our games.

That is why I suggest a stub. If that is your thought process for these, for it to be an island in the distance with nothing worth mentioning on it, it should probably be a stub to save you some low votes. Go to Comment

Only voted Go to Comment

I'm torn. On one hand I agree with Dossta and Strolen's take (i even just up-voted the comment), yet I feel i have to add my 2 cents as well here, and stick up for caesar. This is a location in his world. He is describing a place, travel log style. It is geography with cultural, day-in-the-life bits, and it is as useful for gms perusing the site, as any other submission may be that features 68 plot hooks, and 900 ways to use a sub from a pc's perspective. I can actually prove my point by linking DOZENS of submissions here as examples of locations, tales, etc that feature NO plot hooks or any OVERT pc interest whatsoever, that strolenites loved and voted highly on. Why am I so sure? because *I* am a gm who peruses this site for locations (among other things) and find myself not caring at all whether or not a place has pc plot hooks or not. I can add those ,i mean, its my job to make up the evening's "adventure". But in the case of this sub, I can choose to use this geography and the cultural notes as a base, if for example, i don't feel like wracking my brains for a detailed location, where all the action happens. THEN, i can put whatever i want in these islands, and come up with 1 million different ways to hook pcs. I guess my point is i personally don't mind reading location subs that don't cry out to pcs. I can also steal the little things...like the "shit ships" coming in full of manure. Very flavorful tid-bit (seriously) Or the ghost rumors on Pravus, etc... Having said that, I do agree this place can use a bit more "oomph" :-)

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Ceasar I agree with your sentiment regarding this place completely, most writing for role-playing games doesn't have a narrative, but is piece of a narrative and the story of a character could certainly use a peaceful island. You we only have some many temples of doom. But you could add a few things that might focus on character interaction with setting a bit, for example what is the weather like. are their latent conflicts between the natives and the conquerors, who is the King and from who is he descended. If I visit the island what should I use for money, where should I stay, will I be able to stable a horse and then there are visuals. We don't have many. I am not saying you need all of this but I suggest you a pick a direct goal for what this piece is trying to communicate. Here some options to consider

Is this piece for strangers who have never visited the island, perhaps you could do it as a travel log entry, (steal the format from one the lonely planet books and go with that).

If this is a meta-piece for GMs then give the GMs a few sample scenes or something least they pull this location out their binder and watch the players eyes glaze over when you list off continuing fractions and imports. Obviously a GM will have to make up somethings, but you can fill a lot of gaps with suggestions of depth.

Is this piece designed to give you world some cultural vocabulary as you suggested, could this be where a character is from or place the characters have heard off. If that is the goal, what is the cultural baggage that they carry by being raised here. Obviously the will instinctively view water as more valuable then other players and they might in their heart the beach is always just right over that next rise, but that could be any island nation. What are Sanguisinites like how does their independant, stubborn, and resilient nature manifest in day to day life on the islands?

Overall I like the piece Go to Comment

Where to start with this one? The islands are believable enough, I suppose. It is obvious that you put some thought into each island's economy and resources. However, they are just a tad bit . . . dry. I can't think of any reason to send a party here, and that likely means that my players won't either.

You could mitigate this by adding plot hooks, perhaps, but I would honestly go over the islands again and look at them from a game perspective. What makes these islands unique? Why would anyone want to go here? Do they hold something of significance (prison colony, rebel base, prominent school, precious resource, etc), or are they host to an important event of some sort (major battle, site of prophecy being fulfilled)? What are some major problems for the locals that the PCs could potentially help solve?

If you take the time to inject a little more color here, this could become something great. Keep at it!

P.S. The paragraph on Potens Island continually references Poena instead. Go to Comment

I agree with you in sentiment, caesar, I really do. The entire world doesn't have to revolve around the PCs -- in fact it shouldn't, in order to preserve a certain versimilitude within the setting.

That said, I believe that most submissions on Strolen's are judged for their usefulness within a game. If there's no reason to send the PCs here, then the islands *might* make a footnote on a map somewhere, or might be mentioned in passing by a random NPC, grumbling about shipping costs. But that's it, really.

When it comes right down to it, as a GM we must cater to the party and to our players if we want to have a good game. No matter how detailed or realistic a place is, it will never see the time of day in someone's game otherwise. It's not that this location is *bad* -- your writing is rather good, and I like it's internal consistency -- it's just not very useful. Just my 2c, man. Go to Comment

The added plot hooks do help to increase the value for this location. I'm bumping my vote up to reflect this. Go to Comment

Yeah, when I wrote up potens, I had originally named it poena. I must have forgotten to change the name in the paragraph. I'll do that now. As for the use... I'll admit, I didn't write up Sanguis with a pack of PCs in mind. Sanguis Isles can be used as a hometown for the pcs, or as a place they gotshwrecked on while traveling by boat. You could use Pravus Isle as a way to get them there, but other than that, I wrote this with no intention of forcing pcs to it. If you want, send the pcs villain to a particularly storm cursed rock Sanguis, but it isn't necessary. Use Sanguis as a footnote, or a place the pcs sail by on some quest.

If you really feel that I need plot hooks I'll add them, but does every single country need to be pc-oriented? Can we not have one place that doesn't need a group of homicidal maniacs to fix there problems? Go to Comment