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Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Pieh's comment on 2014-07-09 07:10 PM
Solid.

I don't really have anything to add onto everyone else's comments but good job. Thanks for the submission. Go to Comment
Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2014-06-26 02:58 PM
Solid character, good backstory and explanation for what could otherwise be an easily overlooked character. Instead of a fence, or a plot point, Derran can end up with his own agenda, especially when passing on jobs and information through the tavern.

Nicely done. Go to Comment
Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-06-27 09:38 PM
I think that this could make a nice character in a short adventure in a town - one of the characters in a murder mystery, for example.

I am not sure how useful I think he would be in a longer-running role, though I guess he could work as the resident fighter in a home base. A guy available to train PCs, or something similar.

This is a pretty sturdy character, I'd say. Go to Comment
Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Kassy's comment on 2014-06-23 11:20 AM
Copy/Pasta what knowman said. Hail Caesar. Go to Comment
Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
caesar193's comment on 2014-06-23 01:13 PM
These are good ideas, and I probably would have gone into them (for example, I was going to go into his PTSD), if I hadn't run out of time. It is an oekaki, after all. However, the typo shall now be exterminated. Go to Comment
Derran Thurswrat
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
knowman's comment on 2014-06-23 09:26 AM
I like the concept and the background story. I feel like there is somewhat limited usefulness for the character as most often PCs are "traveling" through places, but for a party that's based in the village he's in, or if there is a plot arc that has them staying there for some time, that could make a difference.

I wonder if it might be helpful to provide PCs with some additional clues to his past if they wanted to cultivate the relationship. Maybe Derran stiffens up when a patrol of soldiers comes into the tavern, or "has to go check on something in the kitchen/stable/rooms/etc." Or maybe there is a unit tattoo he normally keeps covered up they can get a glimpse of. Or a bandage he always has on his arm that covers one. Just some ideas.

Also, this sentence seems a bit odd, like there might be a typo in there - "Eventually, he found love in the village, and married into Angela Thurswrat."

Nice job overall! Go to Comment
Two Graves
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Kassy's comment on 2014-06-12 10:35 AM
Barringer, nice touch. Well done. Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-06-06 06:08 PM
I like it. It's descriptive but still leaves a lot of room for adaptation, and lends itself well to a wide variety of plots: Why is my granddaughter so weird? What happened to my traveling son? Your inn-owning uncle has passed away and you are the only relative that the state can find; congratulations on your new inn! Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-12-15 11:07 PM
you nailed it,

the tone of the narrative is perfect, I enjoyed it.

Well done and more please! Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2014-06-02 07:35 AM
Simple, well cited with lots of potential. This is good stuff Caesar.

Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2014-06-20 10:54 AM
Hey, hey. hey! Lovecraftian. I like it! Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
Kassy's comment on 2014-06-02 07:24 AM
Oh now this I like!

4.5/5 Go to Comment
The Demon's Grove
Locations  (Area)   (Any)
crucifiction's comment on 2014-10-14 07:19 AM
Absolutely worthy of a 5. I'm a Lovecraft fan, and this was written beautifully. The prose flowed well, and the explanation was clear and concise. You could package this as a location or as a plot. Personally, I'd have placed it in plots instead. Go to Comment
The Thing that Sat Alone in the Dark
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
Cheka Man's comment on 2014-07-24 12:17 PM
A very effective weapon but not one to use against a Water Elemental. Go to Comment
The Thing that Sat Alone in the Dark
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-05-29 04:20 PM


Interesting weapon, if grossly over powered for actual use as a PC owned weapon in most campaigns, it would be suitably nasty in the hands of a villain.



As a legendary weapon lost to the ages or the rumored weapon of a newly rising warlord it could serve to add nicely to the legend and myths of the setting, Or perhaps a campaign focused around a group of adventurers seeking to dispose of the axe once and for all, (Ala The One Ring) with numerous would be heroes and tyrants after the weapon for their own ends.



I am curious though if using the weapon in the rain or other wet environment would still invoke the wielder killing effect.



Edit: There is also the small logic fault of the weapon being immersed underwater in the lake bed so technically it should have automatically killed the man who grasped it for retrieval. :P (Yes I'm nitpicking in jest, but I'm sure we all know of at least one player that would be sure to challenge the bard/GMS tale about the weapon when it came to that bit.)

Go to Comment
The Thing that Sat Alone in the Dark
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
Kassy's comment on 2014-05-30 10:38 AM
4.0/5

OP. With a nasty downside. A good legendary item.

I did read this yesterday after it was posted, but forgot to vote and comment. Go to Comment
The Thing that Sat Alone in the Dark
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Sentient)
caesar193's comment on 2014-05-29 08:10 PM
The traveler wasn't the person who subjected the axe to the water, he was rescuing it from the liquid. The warrior had put it in the water, which subjected it to the horrors of getting wet, which meant that he had to die. The axe doesn't automatically fire off a deathray to whomever touches it when its wet, it chooses to kill the person, based on its emotions. It appreciated the traveler's taking it out of a watery situation, so it allowed him to live.

As for rain, I hadn't thought of that. It depends on its mood. Being insane, it may not care that its raining, and not kill its wielder, or it might hear just the steady drip drip of the rain on the leaves and get mad and angry and woe to he who brushes some dust of its handle. Go to Comment
Anthony and Adora
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
Cheka Man's comment on 2014-04-03 01:54 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Anthony and Adora
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-02 06:21 PM
Somebody had a bad day...

Solid story, I think the choices you made worked really well for the story. Go to Comment
Anthony and Adora
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - Genre)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-04-03 05:14 AM
missed voting Go to Comment
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