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A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-09 10:58 AM
Oekaki explains it and I have a new respect for it. It is a little rough in parts and some of the flow is confusing but all is forgiven in the context of Oekaki.

I was really getting pissed off at this guy through the story and I am very happy you saved the explanation to the end. That brought the main theme together and allowed me to rethink the tale yet again!
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A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-04-03 08:12 PM
This is really cool. Also, your oekaki subs are impressively long and detailed considering the 30 minute limit, Axle. The story drew me in and though it was a little rough at times (easily forgivable in Oekaki). I liked that I had to read the story through to understand why brait seemed so inactive and even lazy, even at the cost of his brothers life.

Now that you've finished the Oekali portion you should definitely look into expanding it. I would love to read more about Josslander and the why behind his want for Titanic deeds, plus detail into the abilities he bestows on his subjects. Nice stuff Axle! And good storytelling, too - very gripping. Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Cheka Man's comment on 2013-04-04 10:49 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-03 10:57 AM
that was a close one
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A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-03 11:06 AM

This idea is only half baked, I am quarantined today, so I have some time.  Anyway as required by the Oekaki challenge I sat down to write a religion cold. This is not in some setting I have in mind and I only spent about 5 minutes thinking about it and 30 minutes writing about it.   I used 'stumbleupon' for inspiration, I found a picture of waterfall in iceland and picto-tree describing how different philosophies of moral behavior overlap. 

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A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-03 11:47 AM
Brief edit, also i just noticed I switch perspective from third person to first person. Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-03 10:24 PM
I don't have answers to Shadoweagle's question, cause I really didn't consider why the god was doing all this stuff. But as to ceasar's question those I set up specifically. One could say that I should let the work speak for itself and to say ..."well this is what it means" is crass but I will be crass.  I was trying to say that Brait had it all wrong and even if he got the theology all right I was suggesting that Brait's world view was crap.


Also this is really painful to reread, having a 30 minute time limit just means I ramble it seems. 

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A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-04 12:11 PM
Thankyou, but perhaps you didn't understand theme of the story. Always a problem when you write something, you have an idea and you "try" to communicate it. Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-04-09 07:43 PM
Wait were you being serious when you said you didn't get how the title connects.  Because it is a line from the story, when the uncle recruits Brait into the cult, he suggests that to be a follower of Josslander you must seek to become a God on earth.   I am calling you out as not having read this story.  Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
Dossta's comment on 2013-04-11 02:25 PM
The abrupt switch from third to first person in the last section threw me for a few moments, but the story is still compelling. I'm still angry at Brait, and at Josslander too, if Brait can be considered a true and devoted follower of that religion.

Perhaps Brait has been grossly misled about what it means to be a Josslander, or perhaps he's intentionally using his religion as an excuse to be phenomenally lazy. Either way, the man comes across as an unfeeling sociopath. I hate him, but I believe that is what you intended. Well done? Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (World Wide)
caesar193's comment on 2013-04-03 09:14 PM
I was drawn by the title like a heroin addict drawn by a large pile of heroin. And then you tell me that its all about glory and fame? Sigh.

Question the First: why couldn't Brait help his sister in the beginning? I get the whole premise that he can only do great things in Josslander's name, but helping your sis with the water doesn't really require invoking Josslander.

Question the Second: why couldn't/didn't Brait wipe out the Viking party? Well, raiders. Same thing. Killing off six raiders single handedly is no small feat. Unless you use magic or a bow or something that can kill from far away.

Question the Third: the chap that's a waterfall now. Is he enjoying being continuously dashed on the riverbed? It would seem kind of painful to continuously fall and splatter, over and over and over... Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
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Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-04 11:33 AM
Not really sure how the title connects with this origin story. Other than that, nice. Go to Comment
A Cult for those that want to be Gods on Earth
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Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-04 12:34 PM
Hahaha, sounds familiar. ;) Go to Comment
Lwausf's Intra Continental Sling Shot
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-03-25 06:16 PM
An island fortress of undead gumbearkins which can be shot to neighbouring continents. That. Is. Awesome.

yes, there are spelling and grammatical errors. But considering you did this in 30 minutes they can be overlooked. I couldn't write half as much in 30 minutes, so cudos there. The backstory of how the island and sling shot came to be is amusing and light-hearted and the island will give any adventurers trying to invade a good challenge as well as a few guffaws.

I can just see the party, sailing towards the island whilst undead bear creatures glide above them, some dropping into the water around them, others missing the mark by miles and flying off onto the horizon. Go to Comment
Lwausf's Intra Continental Sling Shot
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
Drackler's comment on 2013-03-26 12:10 PM
This is an entire campaign. The character start in a tiny village, approximately 200 miles away from the dwarven or goblin lands. A stray bearachute lands in their town hall, causing havoc. Investigating what happened leads them on a course of political intrigue, vampire-lycan parley, sailing, fighting, and (mostly) bears. Go to Comment
Lwausf's Intra Continental Sling Shot
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-03-23 07:45 PM
I meant this to be one of scras 30 minutes writing challenges. In that you are supposed to write up something original in 30 minutes. To be original it couldn't be a write up of some aspect of my standing settings or write up of some game material I have lying around. So sat down to write with a timer I used -stumbleupon-to get some inspiration and then I cranked out 7 paragraphs in 30 minutes. But when I was done it didn't fit any of the topic criteria, other than it was quickly written. So I broke up one paragraph, added an 8th and tossed it up here.

Don't know burrito bison, the bear flying craft were a gag used by stand up comedian working out of Ashville NC and the submarine was inspired CSS Hunley. Go to Comment
Lwausf's Intra Continental Sling Shot
Plots  (Crisis)   (Side-Quest)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-03-23 06:37 AM
Was this inspired by Burrito Bison? It was a somewhat compelling read, but it could do with some proof reading and finishing touches. So I won't vote on it just yet. Go to Comment
The Nurendrian Truth Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-10 02:52 AM
I think it might have scrambled my brain and I feel like my memory was sacrificed by the end. :)

I agree with caesar, I would very much prefer a wrap-up to pull these threads together so I understand what you think I should understand. Maybe put a separator to show what is written post challenge if you don't want to tweak the main submission to keep it pure.

One part that did confuse me. He writes the storm because it will return whereas the murder will not. Which infers that they use the historical "truths" to help with the future? But then the "I have no child" would go counter to previously written "truths" of her having a daughter so I am not sure how that balances. Seems to me that the cultists, once their "truths" are filed would mean nothing to them since they are in the moment so the use of the storm wouldn't be useful at all, they are just recorders. And wouldn't other recorders want to document the loss of a child as their interest? How many are there? Just caught me as confusing. Crayons, I like some things written in small words and crayons.

Also, as val mentioned, it is more of a fiction piece as it doesn't really give us anything to use as a society, while it definitely entertains. Go to Comment
The Nurendrian Truth Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Local)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-10 02:55 AM
I don't think it needs the nitty-gritty, just a little more to make it cohesive and self-sustaining. Right now it leaves more questions than it answers. I would prefer a single, well-defined unanswered question about the heredity cycle or how they became civilized vs. trying to figure out all the rest as well.

I do like it, it is just complex in its current state. Go to Comment
The Nurendrian Truth Cult
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Local)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-03-13 08:47 PM
Thanks for the comments guys, you brought up a lot possiblities I hadn't thought of. I wrote this in 30 minutes as dictated by scars's writing challenge, (full disclosure...somebody proof read it, though not very well and I added the title and summary after 30 minutes). Looking over it know the thought process is pretty evident, the first character is writing but has run out of time. I added a bunch details to stall while I came up with a "plot" The next character is getting impatient and the story ends without a resolution. So I really don't have answers to your questions, the bird men were born in the first paragraph. I could make some up, but should I? If the literal message of the story is about perspective, and personal versus societal truth..should I add a nitty-gritty?

Anyway I can add stuff to the idea section. Thanks again for the notes! Go to Comment
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