This one has potential. You are apparently using the Drow mistress as a character that the players would be suspicious of from the start, so any hated group could be an appropriate substitution for games where a Drow would not fit.
You could play against type: There could be good reasons that the lord avoids his wife's company and has cultivated a Drow mistress. The heroes could then decide not to break up the couple after all, or may be conflicted about doing so.
There are a lot of ways this set of plot elements could develop. Go to Comment
Bump! This adventure may not be as subtle or fully-developed as many of the others in the Citadel, but "it has what it takes". I'd like to see what my players make of such a situation. The Drow mistress is a puzzling enigma, a "wild card" that could send things in any of a dozen directions. Go to Comment
Hi I am new to this site, but this three year old post suggests that this community use to be more plot orientated rather than typo and prose orientated. But maybe I just haven't looked at the right posts. I will follow along some the campaign threads now.
Yet here is more what I was expecting. Somebody posts an idea, something they have obviously play tested, and the following posts improve on that idea with suggested variations and improvements to the plot.
I had missed the edits. Now that I know it happened.
Initially the submission did not feel "fully baked" or done. You made the changes I wanted to see to make it easier to read. You updated the text too, which is now much easier to read. I have liked all edits so far. Editing prose is much harder than writing, I do agree.
The myth has a strong structure. It has a good flow in ideas and text. The names are a little tough to follow (perhaps a piece on the gods of Parma then linked?) However, any mythology with more than 4 gods will have the same issue. There are no longer any glaring errors in the piece and I could not find any non glaring ones either. Now it is the really great piece it seemed like it would be.
I am still not thrilled with the title, it should be someting like "Creation Myth of (insert world/ culture)" or "Creation Myth of (insert Religion)". Those changes would make the piece more focused and identifiable. I should take my own advance and make 101+ Scenes in the City to 101+ Scenes in the Modern City, since nobody seems to want to add other city scenes. Perhaps when you have more Parma related submissions you will make the change.
Hmmm...this is certainly an interesting read. I like the weave and flow of the events, and of the strife between the gods despite being born from the same passion. I am curious to know how in once instance a god was able to completely destroy a self created race, such as the Wiz'guards, and Eminster (any relation to Elminster?) was completely destroyed by his demons. Go to Comment
Elminster, the clown as you call him ;), is the age old creation and in game incarnation of Ed Greenwood, creator of the Forgotten Realms (You know... Baldur's Gate, Neverwinter Night's, Icewind Dale).
Updated: Updated: People mentioned some changes that should be made. As for the term generic, I meant it was associated with no specific world. But I will never try and get into symantics agruement on a message board. So I changed the title.
As for this Eliminster clown, when did he enter print. Go to Comment
I figure I mostly upset people by voting, so I won't vote. But I like this, I can tell you have borrowed from a lot of "real" myths. What you wrote here explains a whole world and a panel of ethos very densely. I mean that as a complement. Your ending is a little weak, but you can fix that.
"My vote will be revised one you make some edits."
The whole thing is well though out, and a good explanation for why monsters are monstrous and the races are that way and why humans are "unpredicectable." And why the gods want followers. Solid job. Though it may not be the most usable submission in the Citadel, it is a good idea starter. Go to Comment