Icky-poo! I don't like or play necromancers, but for those that do, this would be a useful spell. Sure, it needs to be updated for the magical and rule system being used, but that is true of any of the subs, which is one of the site's strengths.
Sorry, I just don't see MoonHunter's comments as vindictive, Axlerowes. MH was just pointing things out that, in her (or his, we need a gender-neutral pronoun, since we don't know the gender of the poster!) opinion, needed to be addressed. Likewise, in her opinion, the writing was stilted. That was her opinion, I didn't really notice it, but it is all grist for the writer's mill. If a significant number complain, perhaps you should try to do something about it. Remember, the writer's goal is to suck the reader into his world, not the reader's goal to be sucked in. If it isn't working, it is the writer's responsibility to fix it. You will never be able to catch all the readers, but a good writer tries to. (End of Creative Writing teacher's rant!)
Anyway, a useful sub. 3/5
A great post is detailed. A great post flows smoothly and is well-written. A great post is full of background, but easily lifted from its context and placed in a new setting. A great post has me crook-necked over my computer for the entire duration of my reading it, regardless of length. A great post gets a 5/5.
This is a great post.
The names immidiately made me think of Battletech, and then about half-way through, I realized I was reading a Battletech post. This is a great example of something that fits perfectly within a pre-existing setting.