Strolen\s Citadel content. 
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Kate Hammerhill's comment on 2014-03-04 11:41 AM
Can you pm me your deduction for the A.I please Echo if you don;t want to post it here? I'm still curious ;) Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-06-10 08:08 AM
I like it, a staple magic item, a good backstory, hubris, and a pair of characters who would be mythic or historical figures. Well done. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2013-06-09 10:08 PM
I originally intended to skim over this and read it later if it caught my attention. A fact I had to alter once I began reading it. It sits akin to an item or two I have written up previously, the effects anyway, but the unique idea of the pommel stones themselves are interesting enough for me to read it.

The fate that befell Francis is tragic as it seemed he died in a way he was sick of, the killing no longer held its meaning yet he died in a slaughter house of sorts numb to its affects.

I enjoyed this... Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2013-06-11 06:47 AM
Forgot to vote Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Murometz's comment on 2013-06-10 09:42 AM
The name of the sub is great! Very evocative. Like some long-lost short story title by Clark Ashton Smith or Dunsany. Good myth, interesting info (pommel stones).

This passage is quite juicy..." If a warrior was captured they could use their pommel stone as ransom. It is also possible that these served as a type "dog tag", the returning of the pommel stone to a family served as proof that the warrior had died." Opens up a slew of rp possibilities.

Nicely done. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-06-11 08:15 AM
It because of your catherine spell that I wrote this up, as I worked on a plot using the catherine spell and derivates of the Catherine spell I needed a system by which a spell generated person could carry memory-at least some memory-between summonings. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Kassy's comment on 2013-06-11 05:35 AM
Good Idea. Well written. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-09 10:32 PM
I like the properties of these Pommel Stones being wrapped in the story of this mace. A quite likeable sub overall. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Forganthus's comment on 2013-06-10 09:53 AM
The pommel stones walk a fine line between the mundane (functional sword bits) and the fantastic (freakin' memory recorders). It works, though. Do the priests of Zoratan make any other memory-recording devices? It seems too useful of an ability to use only for pommel stones. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Forganthus's comment on 2013-06-11 12:00 PM
That. . . that's awesome! Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2013-05-10 08:26 PM
An interesting take on the flowers. The most interesting part of this, I thought, was having prostitutes wear the flowers of innocence. That's just... wrong. I mean, if the flowers affect them, then what's the point where they become children? Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-05-07 05:51 AM
fixed some typos, no new content Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-05-06 09:53 PM
It's great as a short story and a sub for the Oekaki challenge. I got slightly confused when the write-up switches from third-person perspective to first-person bu then I realise the whole thing is written from the killer's point of perspective. A great job! btw, you might want to link back to the original sub on Flowers of Innocence. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-07 02:44 AM
I like this! There are some really good bits of prose in here (buildings holding on like ticks, masons and whores needed to wet their business). There's about a dozen typos, though (and I know it's an Oekaki), and in a few places the story sort of becomes difficult to follow. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Forganthus's comment on 2013-05-07 05:26 PM
Revoted because of spelling corrections. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
caesar193's comment on 2013-05-07 08:07 AM
Nice take on the Flowers. I liked how they were used to help Kensu, and how the monsters in this case was a killer. Though I think you should mention how both Kensu and the little girl (and as many other people as you feel necessary) worship the great god caesar193, I won't detract points for this omission. But still, bonus points for twisting the Flowers into an escape aid. Go to Comment
Flowers Of Innocence And The Killer Of Undertown
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-05-07 01:19 PM

Interesting. Here are some typos and grammatical errors;



Kensu became used to feelings of guilt and shame

Kensu's handling of the dowry could not have come as a surprise.


his mind kept up a steady train of conversation


If Jua-awl was going to be so high and mighty about this he shouldn't have accepted the wager. If he cared so much about my fiance's family, why did he collect on the Wager,

what sort of a man, what sort of a bookkeeper takes a wager, collects it and then grows self conscious about how this bet will affect a family, and a wealthy family no less. I bet Jua-awl doesn't contact the brother-in-laws of the white washer men or stone masons he collects from.

row canyon between the two ridges held Undertown

An accomplished patron of vice like Kensu knew the glade

would force an innocence upon his pursuers, and hoped that this would spare his life. .

 

Sorry for taking a few creative liberties, some of it couldn't merely be corrected with a single word.



(Haven't checked the rest).

Go to Comment
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Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Strolen's comment on 2013-04-20 05:46 AM
Update: Updated formatting. Go to Comment
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Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-04-19 12:58 AM
Interesting group you have here, Some of them certainly have me itching to know more about them, especially Priest 2, some of the others seem a bit mundane, such as the Lifer or Sicko, whom I imagine as the head convict from Chronicles of Riddick and Comic Book Guy respectively.

I am curious to know what the intent is behind this group, because I assume it is something akin to M. Night Shamallamadingdong (or whatever his name is) movie Devil (drawn out, tedious in places, but overall good and interesting character study) Go to Comment
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Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Dozus's comment on 2013-04-19 07:50 AM
Sort of feels like the setup of one of those cerebral Twilight Zone episodes that stay in a single shot until the final scene when something crazy happens. I'm curious as to how they all ended up in jail, particularly the clergy (harboring criminals in sanctuary? religion persecuted?). Go to Comment
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