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Glider Bombs
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
Silveressa's comment on 2012-03-01 02:14 AM


A handy low beduget weapon that I can readily see employed by rebels fighting with minimal supplies. It would also fit well in the warzone/mutant chronicles sci-fi rpg setting due to the low tech level of the majority of weaponry there.


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Glider Bombs
Items  (Transports)   (Combat)
Nocontrivedname's comment on 2009-10-13 07:58 PM
Hey Axle,

Nice to see the sword of techno babble cuts both ways. Well done Valadaar. See it doesn't matter if you address his points or not, or if his points are valid. Gaming is done in an agreed upon reality. If everyone agree glider bombs work, then they work. One question, what do you mean by "Christmas package type effect"?

NCN Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
manfred's comment on 2009-08-16 03:48 PM
A nice little lifeform, full of color and (hard-to-use) potential, I do like it.

That was even before the Orcish bit about souls of cowards, that sealed it for me. Great bird, axlerowes! Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-08-24 03:26 PM
Useful in most games. Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2009-08-16 04:40 PM
::Stamp of Really Good:: Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Murometz's comment on 2009-09-22 01:37 PM
I recently had an idea about soul-carrying birds, and started writing, then ran into this. LOVE THEM TO DEATH!! No, really. *POOF* (they now populate most of my campaign worlds). Thank you. Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Murometz's comment on 2011-03-19 12:20 AM


I just absolutely love these birds.


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Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Murometz's comment on 2012-02-18 11:42 PM
the orcish bit about the souls of cowards rocked. Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2009-08-11 06:36 PM
This is really good Axle! This has enough realistic detail and as you have said, has good game use. Where they could possibly be very valuable is as a wizard's familiar.

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Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2011-03-19 06:57 PM


Damn good sub sir - this is excellent!


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Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
Moonlake's comment on 2012-06-19 01:57 AM
A well-detailed sub, presented in a scientific way. Go to Comment
Ghostchasers
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Plains)
slartibartfast's comment on 2009-08-19 05:48 PM
Until now I always thought ornithology and roleplaying games were mutually exclusive hobbies. This is really good! Well-written, a novel idea, and very realistic background. As I read this, I'm thinking of a dozen different uses for it in my own campaign. Excellent work, Axle! Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2009-04-25 12:32 AM
"Is it only not illegal amongst these people to murder strangers?"

Dude that question broke my brain. Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
manfred's comment on 2009-10-25 05:44 PM
I have read it now (after seeing Chapter 6) and must say there is indeed imagination and a lot of juicy content (sans those typos). The untrustworthy, well-groomed, proud Ivanvil would make for quite some encounters and tricky roleplaying. Good thing that.

Hope the other chapters will come too! (And hey, you can use a Codex to put them all together into a book, giving perhaps some more identity to the speaker.) Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-04-24 04:15 PM
Is it only not illegal amongst these people to murder strangers? Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-09-24 06:57 PM


I am preparing to put another chapter into this and I think you are right on with every observation except ditching the first person. We have to make a choice with regard to perspective and I reject this idea of non-biased or "factual" perspective. I am writing this for my game world, to make sure that I have the depth there if it comes up, if the players chose to explore it. I think it a great compliment to compare it to the Silmarillion, this is not the story, the players are the story: I will try more stories in the future. Also I think your advice is citadel geared, getting more responses from the citadel, and this is for my game. While you may be right about the Citadel, your advice is not helpful regarding gaming. But I am glad you read it and thanks for the feedback.

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Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2009-10-26 10:01 AM
Did you see Post# 5750? Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-02 07:53 PM


"I'm not clear how they fit into the rest of the world, though. What interactions do they have with the rest of the world besides robbing them? We get some idea with the merchants and the military aid."



I do mention that they will take part in the some of the church activities, they have been promoted to the peerage and that a member of their tribe acted as regeant for a while. But how the various tribes of Parna fit together was one of the over arching themes of the campaign (which is now over). Even the in game author of this write up asserts a view on this topic which he states is contentous. But at the game table we did a lot work on how the various tribes worked together or did not, it was a source of conflict. So good catch?

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Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2009-04-28 07:02 PM
I'm afraid the reason not to much commentary has been made is that is is a bit too long. A well detailed and complete description, but the narration does not really help it stand out or draw the reader.

I would look as this again and pare about 30% at least from it. There are also a fair number of typos.

Imagination and content is there! But keep in mind that while many people read the Lord of the Rings, few read the The_Silmarillion, a text your details called to mind.

So seriously, ditch the 1st person unless you can strengthen the narrative and bring it to life, and look at perhaps trimming the content to what is important and interesting about your world.

I've found from experience here overlong = overlooked. Go to Comment
Chapter 3: The Ivanvil
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Regional)
caesar193's comment on 2014-02-24 10:02 PM
You seem to use the first person more prevelantly in the later sections than in the begining ones. In fact, in the Dress section, the only use of the first person is with the phrase "I never saw..."- which, by the way, is to common, you should probably vary it. Still, I enjoyed the use of the first person, and how the dwarf speaking was talking as if informing one of his clanmembers about the Ivanvil. The use of the festival to describe two of the allavets was excellent.

The rest of it was great as well. All those little details about them truly gave me a feel for who they are as a people- deceitful, manipulative rash warriors. I could easily see one of them as some sort of noble playing political games in an attempt at control, or bandit leader plotting a clever ambush.

I'm not clear how they fit into the rest of the world, though. What interactions do they have with the rest of the world besides robbing them? We get some idea with the merchants and the military aid. Go to Comment
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