I really liked this one, it had a nice archival feel to the tale although the ending did feel somewhat abrupt.
Still it was a fun read, and running into this computer centuries later (with or without a struggling/prospering colony under it's wing) could make for an interesting adventure in an ongoing Traveller or other space faring sci-fi campaign. Go to Comment
Now you've got my curiosity Echo, what is your deduction for the computers "everything was clear to me now?"
My conclusion was the computer understood humans need the illusion of control over their own destiny to create, (I.E the pregnant woman) or destroy (I.E the weapons) as they see fit in order to feel "free" and thus "happy/content" with their existence. Go to Comment
Another potential take on the ending: "Everything was clear to me then." Sounds like the computer may have reached transcendence, and so it killed itself directly thereafter (after the appropriate number of flops, which wouldn't take long for an advanced future computer). Maybe that explains the sudden end? Anyways, this was a cool read. Go to Comment
I liked the concept, liked the story overall. I would also say it was an abrupt ending. The leaving readers hanging bit I could take or leave - the primary argument for more clarity is that I'm curious what the author who put the rest of the well-written story together thinks should be the ending. But it just seems to wrap-up very quickly, is all. Go to Comment
I originally intended to skim over this and read it later if it caught my attention. A fact I had to alter once I began reading it. It sits akin to an item or two I have written up previously, the effects anyway, but the unique idea of the pommel stones themselves are interesting enough for me to read it.
The fate that befell Francis is tragic as it seemed he died in a way he was sick of, the killing no longer held its meaning yet he died in a slaughter house of sorts numb to its affects.
The name of the sub is great! Very evocative. Like some long-lost short story title by Clark Ashton Smith or Dunsany. Good myth, interesting info (pommel stones).
This passage is quite juicy..." If a warrior was captured they could use their pommel stone as ransom. It is also possible that these served as a type "dog tag", the returning of the pommel stone to a family served as proof that the warrior had died." Opens up a slew of rp possibilities.
It because of your catherine spell that I wrote this up, as I worked on a plot using the catherine spell and derivates of the Catherine spell I needed a system by which a spell generated person could carry memory-at least some memory-between summonings. Go to Comment
The pommel stones walk a fine line between the mundane (functional sword bits) and the fantastic (freakin' memory recorders). It works, though. Do the priests of Zoratan make any other memory-recording devices? It seems too useful of an ability to use only for pommel stones. Go to Comment
An interesting take on the flowers. The most interesting part of this, I thought, was having prostitutes wear the flowers of innocence. That's just... wrong. I mean, if the flowers affect them, then what's the point where they become children? Go to Comment
I reject the idea of innocence=childhood or innocence=asexuality. Children are asexual, and children may be innocent but this does not mean that a sexually mature adult can not be innocent or loose innocence. You should agree with me.
It's great as a short story and a sub for the Oekaki challenge. I got slightly confused when the write-up switches from third-person perspective to first-person bu then I realise the whole thing is written from the killer's point of perspective. A great job! btw, you might want to link back to the original sub on Flowers of Innocence. Go to Comment
I like this! There are some really good bits of prose in here (buildings holding on like ticks, masons and whores needed to wet their business). There's about a dozen typos, though (and I know it's an Oekaki), and in a few places the story sort of becomes difficult to follow. Go to Comment