Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-05 09:56 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-05 10:41 PM
I liked this. I read this on a phone in bed, and I still can't believe I made it to the end (quick funny story, came to what I thought was "the end" but then saw it was only Part I lol). This has a lot of human nature true-isms in it, and explores free will, self-loathing, faith and pride, ably. Had some powerful emotional tugs as well, with the children and all that.

Memorable takeaways were:

1. the way this society and world is slowly but surely painted
2. rescuing Diures from the fire, with a feeling of "superiority" over him.

Not much for rpg-ness here, aside from the window onto this particular world, but a well written expose of one man's roiling thoughts and doubts!

I'm also amazed your usual assortment of typos are mostly missing. Kudos. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Scrasamax's comment on 2014-03-05 07:57 AM
In my mind, I could see a heavy bureaucratic hand writing out the instructions and procedures for the recolonization program, what steps would happen in what order, and the minimums and maximums of what the system was going to do, leaving the appearance of choice, but in reality everything is running a course with no deviation.

Why else would the system keep making the same set of mistakes with each iteration, other than the fact it is following a preplanned program that missed something. Why do the fish keep dying? Because the engineers and programmers who set it up thought having fish was a good idea, but never owned fish themselves so the care instructions are completely wrong. The fish are doomed to die. The mistake will repeat itself 20 times and then quit.

I do like the part about the advanced computers 'counting to infinity' and then shutting down completely. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-04 07:30 AM
It does have a nice flow to it, and it's interesting to hear the historical perspective, as it were.

I'm with Silver on the ending. I'm sure it's purposefully ambiguous and the reader is supposed to read between the lines, but it is a bit abrupt. A little more to it would help wrap things up. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Dozus's comment on 2014-03-04 10:32 AM
Bro, I feel like you're picking a quarrel where there ain't one. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-04 11:42 AM
Echo? Are there missing comments in this post? Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-04 04:44 PM


Well, i enjoyed this greatly! It's funny, pseudo-deep, and a little disturbing. Create and Destroy! Abrupt end seemed perfect to me.



I can see why Sil and knowman want to know more though...the ending begs for more!



And yet, that's my takeaway. The reader decides why everything is clear to it now. The computer doesn't know jack shit.

Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-04 08:10 AM
Ah Dozus, you have too sharp a mind for me, and I am certain you are playing a verbal game of 4 dimensional chess with me here. I see the door you have lead me too, but I can't guess what is on the other side. So I will ask you the obvious question.

Do not ambiguous statements promote "interactivity"? Should I not as you say "anticipate Strolenites to... adapt".

Do you think strolenties want everything drawn out as Strolen says "with crayons" or do they prefer a more ambiguous frame work to which they may tack their own ideas?



Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-04 10:55 AM
alright Dozus, I will push back from the table. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-04 03:14 PM


I like Silveressa's deduction better than any idea I had. I did have a clear idea of what going in the computers mind, and what I was trying to say. But I thought it was better to leave it open

Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-03-04 04:19 AM
I really liked this one, it had a nice archival feel to the tale although the ending did feel somewhat abrupt.

Still it was a fun read, and running into this computer centuries later (with or without a struggling/prospering colony under it's wing) could make for an interesting adventure in an ongoing Traveller or other space faring sci-fi campaign. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-03-04 08:14 AM
Now you've got my curiosity Echo, what is your deduction for the computers "everything was clear to me now?"

My conclusion was the computer understood humans need the illusion of control over their own destiny to create, (I.E the pregnant woman) or destroy (I.E the weapons) as they see fit in order to feel "free" and thus "happy/content" with their existence. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
sverigesson's comment on 2014-03-12 07:25 AM
Another potential take on the ending: "Everything was clear to me then." Sounds like the computer may have reached transcendence, and so it killed itself directly thereafter (after the appropriate number of flops, which wouldn't take long for an advanced future computer). Maybe that explains the sudden end? Anyways, this was a cool read. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
knowman's comment on 2014-03-04 09:25 AM
I liked the concept, liked the story overall. I would also say it was an abrupt ending. The leaving readers hanging bit I could take or leave - the primary argument for more clarity is that I'm curious what the author who put the rest of the well-written story together thinks should be the ending. But it just seems to wrap-up very quickly, is all. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Kate Hammerhill's comment on 2014-03-04 11:41 AM
Can you pm me your deduction for the A.I please Echo if you don;t want to post it here? I'm still curious ;) Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-06-10 08:08 AM
I like it, a staple magic item, a good backstory, hubris, and a pair of characters who would be mythic or historical figures. Well done. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2013-06-09 10:08 PM
I originally intended to skim over this and read it later if it caught my attention. A fact I had to alter once I began reading it. It sits akin to an item or two I have written up previously, the effects anyway, but the unique idea of the pommel stones themselves are interesting enough for me to read it.

The fate that befell Francis is tragic as it seemed he died in a way he was sick of, the killing no longer held its meaning yet he died in a slaughter house of sorts numb to its affects.

I enjoyed this... Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2013-06-11 06:47 AM
Forgot to vote Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
Murometz's comment on 2013-06-10 09:42 AM
The name of the sub is great! Very evocative. Like some long-lost short story title by Clark Ashton Smith or Dunsany. Good myth, interesting info (pommel stones).

This passage is quite juicy..." If a warrior was captured they could use their pommel stone as ransom. It is also possible that these served as a type "dog tag", the returning of the pommel stone to a family served as proof that the warrior had died." Opens up a slew of rp possibilities.

Nicely done. Go to Comment
Pommel Stones Of Vohu Manah And The Breath-takers Mace
Items  (Mystical)   (Single-Storyline)
axlerowes's comment on 2013-06-11 08:15 AM
It because of your catherine spell that I wrote this up, as I worked on a plot using the catherine spell and derivates of the Catherine spell I needed a system by which a spell generated person could carry memory-at least some memory-between summonings. Go to Comment
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