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My Taalkastin Boatman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-31 11:46 PM


*Reduction: The event described here as reduction is approximate translation from the Kaanarite language. If translated directly the elven term means either to shrink or to reduce, but contextually it refers to censure or punishment of certain families buy other families. The exact details of these punishments was not clear to the author at the time of this writing.

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My Taalkastin Boatman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
Silveressa's comment on 2014-04-01 06:41 PM
Very nice the narrative tone sets the scene nicely, and the over all presentation felt fresh and well laid out, definitely one of my new favorites! Go to Comment
My Taalkastin Boatman
NPCs  (Minor)   (Natural)
Kassy's comment on 2014-04-02 12:03 PM
5.0/5 from moi aussi

As Sil mentioned, the presentation in this is neat. It makes for very pleasant reading. Well done :) Go to Comment
Scrasamax's comment on 2014-04-03 12:33 AM
An interesting character, and while he could be described as one dimensional, there are certainly people in real life who are one dimensional. I like the fact that Igor is a man of god out of fear, rather than any sort of real religious calling, and that many of his motivations, aside from divine fear, are based in real world materialism. Igor feels like a real person, with interests in caring for his family and his legacy, as well as having a level head about things like war.

This is a good character, and I could see using him not just in his given setting, but as a man of importance dealing with adventurers-upon-return, and doing the duties of the non-present King, such as making deal with mercenaries, settling disputes, endorsing or condemning actions such as hunting down people without any sort of oversight, or pardoning certain other people. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-21 02:57 AM
The appearance paragraph already has me 'hooked' to this character b/c I'm forever into past demons etc. This is my favourite Parnian noble so far (haven't yet read all of them though). Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2014-12-27 07:49 PM
Like the companion sub on his wife, I like the contrast between him being a good diplomatic and leader and his weakness in calvary and esp. his struggle with his cultural heritage. I like Ysra slightly more because she seems more interesting whereas Halldor still seems essentially a knight at heart but then I know not much could be done about that given that he's lawful good in alignment.

Typo alert- I thought the last line of the Appearance paragraph contained the typo "since" which should be "sense" or something similar. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2014-12-27 07:55 PM
I could see Karim as a character just awaiting misfortune to befall him. Still, I quite like the way he's presented here. Go to Comment
Scrasamax's comment on 2014-05-06 12:35 AM
It's beautiful, the integration is everything I would want, the strange, the mercenary, the malign, the corporate...

Thank you. Go to Comment
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-03-28 11:31 PM
I confess I have a hard time commenting on this one - this kind of sci-fi is not so much my thing. There's something to be said for a psychic martial artist war mech, though, I suppose. And it could make a good looming destruction sort of enemy, I think. You recommend not fighting it, but it seems a little odd to create such a menace and then not involve it in combat.

The locusts are pretty horrifying - enough so that I almost feel that they would be better off as their own submission, with perhaps a link between the two. Go to Comment
Murometz's comment on 2014-12-17 03:55 PM
Really cool character here! A ballet dancer...and then bam! The locusts are creepy good too! Enjoyed reading this. Go to Comment
Aramax's comment on 2014-12-16 08:47 AM
Very few Ideas here,I would use without modification. Id always change some little parts here or there.(Not counting the setting ,of course). This over looked master piece is PERFECT in that I would use it WITHOUT modifacation! Not to mention thr Griffon is one of the shapest looking Mechs. I have a quibble or two but I'm going to keep them to myself,in that I don't want you to change a single word. Go to Comment
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-13 01:09 PM
HoHed again cause this needs luv Go to Comment
The Nightmare Demons of Sorrow
Plots  (Mystical)   (Mini-Campaign)
Dragonlordmax's comment on 2014-03-14 05:43 PM
The idea of demons which torment people in their sleep is a somewhat familiar one, but these guys have a more philosophical bent to them which is interesting. The demons themselves are certainly interesting.

I do think I would be inclined to extend the exorcism a bit more than in your example. That is, rather than calling out the demon so explicitly, I might prefer to make that bit into more of a mystery/clue hunt kind of thing. Go to Comment
Parna's Cradle and the Golden Stamp
Locations  (Neighborhoods)   (Plains)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-27 09:49 AM
Good catch thanks: fIxed that sentence and broke up some of the paragraphs. Go to Comment
Parna's Cradle and the Golden Stamp
Locations  (Neighborhoods)   (Plains)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-27 09:16 AM
A cool location though I think it could benefit from a little more going over.

Some of the paragraphs suffer from being a bit too large, and the same could be said for a few sentences.

Others are a bit odd - I can't quite follow this one:

"Pasha is atypical physical specimen an Ator."




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Parna's Cradle and the Golden Stamp
Locations  (Neighborhoods)   (Plains)
Stork's comment on 2014-03-08 11:05 AM
This would be an interesting place to visit. I can imagine the party arriving just as the 'Court' is about to leave after a few days of shenanigans. The party could dig up all the dirt on the nobles and use it to there advantage.

I like it. Go to Comment
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-05 10:56 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Murometz's comment on 2014-03-05 11:41 PM
I liked this. I read this on a phone in bed, and I still can't believe I made it to the end (quick funny story, came to what I thought was "the end" but then saw it was only Part I lol). This has a lot of human nature true-isms in it, and explores free will, self-loathing, faith and pride, ably. Had some powerful emotional tugs as well, with the children and all that.

Memorable takeaways were:

1. the way this society and world is slowly but surely painted
2. rescuing Diures from the fire, with a feeling of "superiority" over him.

Not much for rpg-ness here, aside from the window onto this particular world, but a well written expose of one man's roiling thoughts and doubts!

I'm also amazed your usual assortment of typos are mostly missing. Kudos. Go to Comment
Moonlake's comment on 2015-01-09 01:48 AM
I really like the ending. It took the story off in a totally different direction that I had expected. It was also at part 4 that the poignant themes of this story really started to sink in. Overall, good work. Go to Comment
My Last Crop of Humans
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Domestic/ Craft)
Scrasamax's comment on 2014-03-05 08:57 AM
In my mind, I could see a heavy bureaucratic hand writing out the instructions and procedures for the recolonization program, what steps would happen in what order, and the minimums and maximums of what the system was going to do, leaving the appearance of choice, but in reality everything is running a course with no deviation.

Why else would the system keep making the same set of mistakes with each iteration, other than the fact it is following a preplanned program that missed something. Why do the fish keep dying? Because the engineers and programmers who set it up thought having fish was a good idea, but never owned fish themselves so the care instructions are completely wrong. The fish are doomed to die. The mistake will repeat itself 20 times and then quit.

I do like the part about the advanced computers 'counting to infinity' and then shutting down completely. Go to Comment
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