I like this approach, a ghost but not a ghost. A neat aberration. Also something weird to toss in at the end of a magic battle (the lingering build up magic triggers it) that no player will be expecting :)
You could entwine this deeply into a plot based around an area or building. Every time magic is used here, something strange happens afterward, a battle scene suddenly appears, a glorious bride shuffles down the isle towards her marriage, past echoes of things that happened in that building, you recognize, from other echoes, the man she walks towards, her groom, is in league with dark shrouds of tales yet to be told.
Wow, that is a romp isn't it! Maybe a little too much detail for my addled brain, but it is an incredible journey. None of the included submissions seemed forced and it did flow well. I didn't have any major problems with the ending. Go to Comment
A good read, held my attention from beginning to end, which unfortunately came a bit abruptly. There are a few typos, and a few loose ends that could be tied up. The Cultists make for a great chase, but their end, jumping out, yelling boo and unleashing cosmic horrors seemed a bit cliche for cultists of a demon god of torture. Go to Comment
Indeed. I find it to be interesting, but perhaps more could be done with it. The ending seems abrupt, and I'm sure that while the subject matter does lead itself to an ending, why not make that ending better by expounding upon it? Go to Comment
Wow, this is a long one, but what I like to call the "pure materials", appear in the text in droves. "Pure materials" refers to the countless juicy details, peoples, and places that are featured in the plot. A trove of ideas wrapped in a wicked tale. A distressed ship, depraved villains, an immortal city, wizard sanctums... All of the the necessary elements for hours upon hours of campaign fun are present.
My only nit-pick would be, it is rather long. But then again, the details and minutae is what makes this a great sub, so...like val, I'm torn.
I love the terra-cotta gibbon, and The Tombs of the Five Fools!! Go to Comment
He's an okay shopkeeper (and darn right, somebody ought to use that magiq thingy for selling stuff). The connection to other subs makes him grow, plus I like that he's willing to flee at the first hint of trouble. Gotta love those principles! :)
And then the mayor of the town placed an order for 1,000 iron spikes, planned to fix the old bridge with 'em, and shore up the creaky water wheel, even planned to use them to make special darts for a game. Ran him broke, it did. Now all he has is a broken down house filled with iron spikes...Go to Comment
Of course, neither Cuspi nor Dreckler realize that the magical paste he used was made from a stolen recipe. If an additional complication is needed, ruthless assassins could pick up his trail, eager to eliminate anyone who has learned of their secret...
Orchound - A large canine with tusk like bottom teeth. Orcs bred these dogs to help them in battle by grappling with foes, and dragging them to the ground. Despite their fearsome appearance and loud bark, they are trained not to kill, this is the venue of the warrior, not his hound.