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Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-08-23 02:38 AM
A good read, held my attention from beginning to end, which unfortunately came a bit abruptly. There are a few typos, and a few loose ends that could be tied up. The Cultists make for a great chase, but their end, jumping out, yelling boo and unleashing cosmic horrors seemed a bit cliche for cultists of a demon god of torture. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-08-22 09:23 PM
I love this but can't give in an HOH yet as I was busted down to Level 1 for some reason. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Chaosmark's comment on 2007-08-23 11:27 AM
Indeed. I find it to be interesting, but perhaps more could be done with it. The ending seems abrupt, and I'm sure that while the subject matter does lead itself to an ending, why not make that ending better by expounding upon it? Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Murometz's comment on 2007-09-04 11:40 AM
Wow, this is a long one, but what I like to call the "pure materials", appear in the text in droves. "Pure materials" refers to the countless juicy details, peoples, and places that are featured in the plot. A trove of ideas wrapped in a wicked tale. A distressed ship, depraved villains, an immortal city, wizard sanctums... All of the the necessary elements for hours upon hours of campaign fun are present.

My only nit-pick would be, it is rather long. But then again, the details and minutae is what makes this a great sub, so...like val, I'm torn.

I love the terra-cotta gibbon, and The Tombs of the Five Fools!! Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Murometz's comment on 2011-03-18 10:54 PM


Bump. This is quite amazing really! (upon my long-overdue second read). Still love the terra-cotta gibbon and the Tomb of Five Fools :)

And the Sword of the Simple! Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-23 08:52 AM
Well, with the linked subs, the ending does suggest itself. I think that a bit more time would have addressed Scrasamax's concerns.

That said, it is an excellent sub and well written, but does not quite have the same zap as many of your other subs...

I'll HOH this once this power is returned to me... :) Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-23 09:05 AM
HOH As promised! Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-24 06:52 PM
I think the additions have improved it still further, so am updating my vote.

My only concern is the length, so while it is a better post, it seems a little long for the quest...

However, I would not want to see any of this trimmed either! I'm torn! Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-23 09:43 AM
I given the sub a few revisions and fixed some of the typos, but I suspect that there is more work to be done. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-24 04:35 PM
UPDATED: I added a lot of detail to the interior of the tower and gave descriptions for the cultists that may be the climactic encounter of the scenario. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-28 04:49 PM
It's only 6,000 words long... It needed those words!

Except for that second use of "blasphemous". I could have skipped that one. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-09-04 12:37 AM
The comments about the end had motivated me to beef it up. As originally written, the end was just sketched in, without detail to the the tower interior or the final villains. Go to Comment
Beyond the Sea of Serpents
Plots  (Crisis)   (Single-Storyline)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-17 10:28 PM
It is quite long but very good write-up. The itallic sections are simply amazing.
*Commented on for the Commenting Challenge Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
manfred's comment on 2007-08-02 02:01 PM
He's an okay shopkeeper (and darn right, somebody ought to use that magiq thingy for selling stuff). The connection to other subs makes him grow, plus I like that he's willing to flee at the first hint of trouble. Gotta love those principles! :)

Not dramatically special, he is still pretty good. Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-08-02 02:46 PM
And then the mayor of the town placed an order for 1,000 iron spikes, planned to fix the old bridge with 'em, and shore up the creaky water wheel, even planned to use them to make special darts for a game. Ran him broke, it did. Now all he has is a broken down house filled with iron spikes... Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-02 07:35 PM
I like this dude.

More Iron spike Madness!

Iron man, eh. That song has me thinking! Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-08-02 01:50 AM
Of course, neither Cuspi nor Dreckler realize that the magical paste he used was made from a stolen recipe. If an additional complication is needed, ruthless assassins could pick up his trail, eager to eliminate anyone who has learned of their secret...

(See Unguent of Desire for more information.) Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
epsilon's comment on 2007-08-02 07:52 PM
If only Steptoe could have procured such goop :)
Nice one Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
Kuseru Satsujin's comment on 2008-03-11 06:12 PM
Oddly enough, I like this idea, especially when I think about all the inadvertent uses the current buyers could come up with which actually hamper Cuspi's plans to skip town. Especially, if using Scramasax's idea, the mayor purchases a bunch of iron spikes to fix up the old bridge, thus denying Cuspi with an easy exit across the bridge while it is being repaired. Go to Comment
Cuspi the Ironmonger
NPCs  (Minor)   (Mercantile)
RGTraynor's comment on 2011-04-01 03:35 PM


Heh, this is pretty cool.  I can just see a wildeyed fellow dashing through the streets, loudly imploring his friends to get their iron spikes before THEY'RE ALL GONE!!!!


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