Me, I'm not as much delighted by this location. Sure it is well written, and has some nice touches (nasty seamen legends followed by practical jokes are great), but something in there doesn't really suit me. Maybe it is legend of its creation featuring the baddest demon ever, or the 'bad place' image doesn't get to me, I'm not sure.
Interesting... I'm not sure I'm quite in love with the whole "big bad dude" idea, and it reminds me of Kadum and Kadum's sea of blood in the Shattered Lands setting (reddish tint, anybody?), but when he gets to the actual sea itself, I quite like it, especially the warlike "merremenne" (obviously merfolk) and whatever the "batrakhones" are... Intriguing. Go to Comment
This should really be "The Fall of Velsparge: A Legend of Ancient Days" rather than the ocean. We have this huge, fully realized little story, that in the end, has no real impact upon the 43 lines of location.
Now if this happened in "relatively recent times" and had an impact on the here and now, fine. But it didn't.
(And I really did like the story piece, and the other written elements.. it is just...)
Other than being a difficult sea, really the big demon bound to the sea has no impact. Unless there is always a miasmis of chaos and evil about the sea...
I would of liked to see more about the people who live in and around the sea. There are people living on some of these islands, a point you have to infer from the fact that there is trade with the mainland.
Sure I don't need every detail filled out, but a general brushing about the culture(s) and peoples around this place would of been nice. What would also of been nice is to see how the demon body sea impact things here (or if it didn't the 50 some odd lines of history needs to be played down). So there are navies. Why is anyone fighting over or on this cursed sea?
and: The red-tinted waters of this warm sea hold many secrets, with the legend of Velsparge only the oldest. Okay and you deliver those. So we have Merefolk who should be sinking everything in their territory and strange alien things that may or may not have any impact upon the world at all. (Do we not communicate or create embassy with them.) We have dangerous islands and such.
So the please is demon cursed. Is anyone doing a thing about it? Is there not a church or set of churches around the sea holding the demon in place? Are the people just future victims of a fantasy horror novel? Go to Comment
okay, its the little things that excite me as usual, such as...
Many of the islands have acquired names based on their outlines, such as the Sword Islands, Eye Atoll, Mandible Cay (...allegedly home to a reclusive artificer, known for his strange golems), Leg Island, Arsy Reef, Tendril Island, Little Tendril Island, and Tendril Brac...
thats beautiful, a primer with verisimilitude!
Newcomers traveling the seas soon grow used to "The Tale of Velsparge's Tendril" (an ominous tentacle that creeps aboard ships, seeking the rest of its body), followed by the discovery of foul-smelling octopus parts hidden in their gear...
Like Manfred however, I am not a huge fan of Dread Velsparge and his tale.
Overall, its a place rife with gaming goodness. Thumbs up! Go to Comment
Most has been already said. I will just add that this reminds me of the Clochardshire Shambler in terms of emotional impact, but offers more for roleplaying, and makes for a cool magical, but also natural effect.
A solid idea, that seems to inspire many more, and begs to be used. I like it. Go to Comment
An explanation for many events, some of which will be historical, others will be Deus ex machina. It would pay for the PCs to learn a little history, as this might improve the chances of such events happening.
In Antioch/ Arth, excess manna floats about, empowering the starstone dust in the soil. That helps create the elementals that sometimes appear in the city. Manna Fleas and Ogone flies deal with the same floating bits of left over magic (or radiant magic). It is fun that these things exist, showing that magic is part of the world.
You should have these events slowly absorb the loose magic and the stronger magic threads. The more destiny has to intervene, the less magic is left in the world.. the apparitions eventually making things "mundane"/ non magical. Go to Comment
Ah, Wert, bring me another pinch of wolfsbane for this spell, Grindelwald stumbled, Wert had been dead a number of years and no matter how many times he called the priest to purify his tower, the apparition kept returning. The old alchemist shuddered but returned to grinding at his mortar. The strange thing, the thing he would never tell the priests was that sometimes the appration of Wert would take up his old tasks, sweeping out the ground floor, mixing reagents that had settled in their jars, but only the oldest of the jars and always his old broom. The old man put down the pestel and wiped at the tears streaking his haggard face.
Very interesting. Perhaps someone might harness this as a spell, if the mage was studious enough. Perhaps he'd take an 'imprint' of someone he knew, and then use them as a summonable/castable weapon-soldier. Iiiiinteresting possibilities.
It could probably have a bit more to it, but not much. I like it. Go to Comment
I like this approach, a ghost but not a ghost. A neat aberration. Also something weird to toss in at the end of a magic battle (the lingering build up magic triggers it) that no player will be expecting :)
You could entwine this deeply into a plot based around an area or building. Every time magic is used here, something strange happens afterward, a battle scene suddenly appears, a glorious bride shuffles down the isle towards her marriage, past echoes of things that happened in that building, you recognize, from other echoes, the man she walks towards, her groom, is in league with dark shrouds of tales yet to be told.
Wow, that is a romp isn't it! Maybe a little too much detail for my addled brain, but it is an incredible journey. None of the included submissions seemed forced and it did flow well. I didn't have any major problems with the ending. Go to Comment