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Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
manfred's comment on 2006-09-11 02:12 AM
Vote updated. Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-09-10 01:03 PM
The write up is again, nicely executed. The character is not as interesting, as we know nothing of his existance in his "real life". That element is missing on the character.

Sure nobody in the market and poor places will know it, and perhaps not even in the nobles corners, but the GM needes it to portray the character carefully. Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-09-11 07:38 AM
Not bad, but the ending felt abrupt. Now I am curious to know about what happened between the Queen and her guard (Okay, so I can kinda guess ;) but I am left wondering how he found himself living among the criminals and vagabonds. All in all, not a bad piece of work. Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-09-10 09:12 AM
He's OK but not as good as your other submissions. Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2006-09-11 09:26 PM
The additions help :) Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-10 11:32 PM
It sounds like I'll need to add a little bit to this one. I couldn't let poor Chivver languish without a real life... Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-11 02:04 AM
Updated: Chivver (or should I say Barrett) has a bit more history now, and a heartbroken queen to serve from afar. Go to Comment
Chivver
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-11 10:57 AM
Thank you for the feedback! I'll have to think about it for a few days and revise his entry again. I'm starting to see Chivver shaping into the complementary opposite of the beggar henchman, Hatchet. They're both "good with their hands", both prefer to work through manipulation to serve their respective queens, but Chivver is basically noble under his humble fa├žade, while Hatchet is purely evil. Chivver is trying to uphold the social order; Hatchet revels in chaos and misery.

Now, to just steer them directly into conflict... Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
manfred's comment on 2006-09-10 08:47 AM
Nice little bad guy. The Bassage Market starts to untangle its dirty secrets; will you post more about it? With additions it would make a great location, prepared for adventures on the lowest level of society, not world-shattering, but nonethless interesting - to stand against evil is always a challange, whether amongst kings and dragons, or beggars and alley thugs. If you make more of it, consider linking it together (perhaps making the original location post a Codex). Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-09-10 12:59 PM
Nicely executed piece; good language and description used, nice plot compliations, and good dramatic touches. Nothing yet to add. Eventual we will have all the colorful important people of the market. Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-09-11 07:42 AM
Very interesting. I like the touch of the exotic in the foreign man who serves his lady, and the sort of low justice/law that he dispences in a very twisted fashion. I think this character has a good deal of potential. Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-09-11 11:58 AM
Drow or not, he is well written and well presented. As for turning cliche bad posts into decent ones, I have done that a time or three so you loose no points from me. Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-09-10 07:29 AM
Very well done. 5/5 Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2006-10-05 02:33 PM
Nice Villian with clever, interesting but not sufficating details that links him to all sorts of possible plot hooks. Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2006-09-10 02:26 PM
Nice little villian... Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Wulfhere's comment on 2006-09-11 11:18 AM
Hatchet came about after I read an unfortunate submission from some time ago, a cliched "Drow Assassin". It made me wonder: What would such a creature actually become in a more realistic setting? Forced to abandon everything he'd known, blinded and scorched by the glare of the sun, surrounded by an alien people that he can barely comprehend... How would he survive?

Thus Hatchet came to be, a creature that wraps his burnt and damaged skin away from the sun's glare, hides what he is, and never lets his guard down. Miserable and unable to find a place in an alien land, he falls to society's lowest rungs. Taken in by a domineering female, he finally finds a resonance with his homeland and a role he can fill.

If Hatchet were actually one of the legendary "dark elves", how would the folk of the Market Quarter know that? A creature of ancient legend dwelling among them? Who would believe it?

Is Hatchet really a "Drow"? Who knows? In all likelihood, he's just a foreigner with a disfiguring skin disease... Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Tauric's comment on 2011-07-27 10:35 AM


Okay, I wasn't really feeling this until I read the explanation. At first I thought it was a serviceable idea, touch of flavor to throw in, maybe a mid-level villian, but with the added fact of the drow, it has much more potential. If drow exist and are known, and he is found out, what implications will it have?  Will the authorities believe he is outcast, or think he is a spy? Will they kill him immediately or imprison him? If drow exist but are not known, what will they make of him if they discover him? 


Go to Comment
The Hatchet
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-07-27 02:31 AM


Reading through this I didn't put all the pieces together, but "drow" really pulled it all together and made it something special. I would have liked some inkling as to how he managed to 'punish' people as he does, is it connections? Psychological manipulation? Drugs? D. All of the above?


Go to Comment
The Eternal Witness
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Strolen's comment on 2006-09-12 10:14 PM
Great legend! Go to Comment
The Eternal Witness
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Forest/ Jungle)
manfred's comment on 2006-09-09 09:55 AM
A legend, and a creature of age unimaginable... I like the atmosphere of the post. Short but sweet. Go to Comment
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