Its great backstory... the information here is good but to me it seems... half hazzard perhaps? Like PA stated it lacks clarity. Not saying it isn't interesting but it lacks a solid fist in my face saying this is where this is going. Having said that, after speaking to you at length on your rpg experience and what you intend this information for it works but the site here in and of all its members require meat with their potatoes so to speak... It has potential if it is cleaned up some and the thought process is more geared to making someone understand where your coming form.
Perhaps consider breaking this up into two different articles -- one that expands on Toothsit and the other on Curthus. You could then expand them into full location subs, adding plot hooks, NPCs and other reasons to base adventures in those locales. Or, you could simply leave them as impressions. Curthus is a good candidate for a "City Image" article (look up the originals by MoonHunter for ideas).
As far as I can gather, the lands of Khal are fairly atheistic, while Curthus is run by some sea-monster-god cult? What exactly is the point of the article? I know this was supposed to be a system of some sort, but it sounds more informative.
I can see how you detailed the way a natural phenomenon can be mistaken for the divine - perhaps you were meaning to detail how a religion comes into being? Or is this just supposed to be an article that the people of your created world react to the thought of religion?
With a little tidying up, this could be pretty good, but I think it needs focus.
Thank you for the help everyone! I'm trying to figure out how to delete a post so that I can re-contribute it into the two seperate articles as mentioned with elaboration on each! One worry of mine was that if I write too much it would.. be well, too much!
I can see them involved in a grand, if silly quest: "Magic is suddenly failing! We are doomed!" Of course, it's just Bobeerin overpopulation.
A tyrannical regime could use them out to sniff out wizards. And once they taste a spellbook, wizards beware!
Adorable. Alas: what is their origin? How does their intelligence manfest? How do they interact with cultures? Any predators or enemies? Etc.
Okay, I like how these are, at first glance, simply cute little mini-oxen, but then they have this whole sophisticated ecology underneath.
I immediately had the thought that maybe they are otherplanar creatures that only manifest as mini-oxen on our plane, but if we travel to their home they would be these grand majestic creatures.
What if someone caught on to their true foodsource, and sussed out the location of these magic streams, and tapped into them as a power source? Would a bobeerin make a good familiar, since magic users can possibly have some sort of ambient magic surrounding them, seeping into nearby vegetation. Would bobeerin parts make for power-boosting magic components? These are all hypothicals, of course, since no one in their right mind would ever think of using these critters in such a way.
I would imagine, if you get a herd big enough, these fellows could be quite a nuisance, always getting under foot, clogging the roadways and such.
Ohemgee these are so adorable. I am tickled pink by Tauric's idea of them existing in more than one plane, and being large majestic bovine in one and tiny little nusiances in another. You obviously put a lot of thought into these sweet creatures and have a very clear idea of their abilities. Unfortunately aside from flavor I don't see them being involved in anything quest-related or grand. That's okay though, they fulfill their role very well.
Fun thought. I enjoy thinking of a herd of ankle-sized oxen. The picture provided makes it a little difficult to picture the oxen as blue though. I thought it was very clever to work out why the Bobeerin always die in captivity. Nicely done there. The first paragraph is very artistic with good flair, but it really doesn't flow right with the rest of the submission; it easy to read, but it lacks the flair. In general, I really like it. It could be very fun flavor text for any tundra campaign.
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Bobeerin would most likely be quite good in tracking out these locations, and they would make handy pocket-sized familiars. Or I could even see them being led around on snazzy harnesses, with a bell. Such an creature is certaintly capable and intelligent enough to recognize his master (should it be in a world where magic and mages are commonplace and it was indeed tamed! - the one in particular magic is more rare, at least to the average denizen of the world). The Bobeerin's little horns may be used as 'magic detectors' and may vibrate faintly when made into necklaces and glow a faint blue.
The horns not only detect magic, but regulate the flow of it through the creatures body, always imbued with at the very least, a trace of it, even long after the rest of the bones had turned to dust. It remains capable of absorbing magic until its been burned by fire. A light coating of perpetual ash then gathers over the horns. This is part of the reason why Bobeerin, while capable of spouting out miniature fireballs, do not do so often, as they may risk singing their own horns, which would lead to their own potential demise.