Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Blydwyn potion
Items  (Potion)   (Combat)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-08 02:18 PM


A very thorough potion, you should create a submission that is a list of your wonderfully detailed alchemical ingredients. A great war-time potion like morphine. 


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Blydwyn potion
Items  (Potion)   (Combat)
Tundra's comment on 2011-09-10 04:36 AM
Thank you so much! :D Go to Comment
Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
Scrasamax's comment on 2011-09-06 11:57 AM
I think this is the best suggestion, make this into two locations rather than a single submission. Go to Comment
Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2011-09-05 02:25 PM


Its great backstory... the information here is good but to me it seems... half hazzard perhaps? Like PA stated it lacks clarity. Not saying it isn't interesting but it lacks a solid fist in my face saying this is where this is going. Having said that, after speaking to you at length on your rpg experience and what you intend this information for it works but the site here in and of all its members require meat with their potatoes so to speak... It has potential if it is cleaned up some and the thought process is more geared to making someone understand where your coming form.


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Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
Dossta's comment on 2011-09-06 11:45 AM


Perhaps consider breaking this up into two different articles -- one that expands on Toothsit and the other on Curthus.  You could then expand them into full location subs, adding plot hooks, NPCs and other reasons to base adventures in those locales.  Or, you could simply leave them as impressions.  Curthus is a good candidate for a "City Image" article (look up the originals by MoonHunter for ideas).


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Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-04 04:54 PM


As far as I can gather, the lands of Khal are fairly atheistic, while Curthus is run by some sea-monster-god cult? What exactly is the point of the article? I know this was supposed to be a system of some sort, but it sounds more informative.



I can see how you detailed the way a natural phenomenon can be mistaken for the divine - perhaps you were meaning to detail how a religion comes into being? Or is this just supposed to be an article that the people of your created world react to the thought of religion?



With a little tidying up, this could be pretty good, but I think it needs focus.


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Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 12:37 PM


I think the main thing lacking in this piece is clarity. I am unsure if I am reading several books, or if I am Ridinian. Each individual story is interesting and well written. I would also advise changing the title to "Religion in your world name here" to stave off confusion. 


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Religion
Systems  (Knowledge/Lore)   (Defining)
Tundra's comment on 2011-09-07 05:12 AM


Thank you for the help everyone! I'm trying to figure out how to delete a post so that I can re-contribute it into the two seperate articles as mentioned with elaboration on each! One worry of mine was that if I write too much it would.. be well, too much!


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Scrasamax's comment on 2011-09-02 01:44 AM


So, now we know where buffalo wings come from


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-09-01 04:56 AM


I can see them involved in a grand, if silly quest: "Magic is suddenly failing! We are doomed!" Of course, it's just Bobeerin overpopulation.



A tyrannical regime could use them out to sniff out wizards. And once they taste a spellbook, wizards beware!



Adorable. Alas: what is their origin? How does their intelligence manfest? How do they interact with cultures? Any predators or enemies? Etc.


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Cheka Man's comment on 2011-08-31 06:01 PM


Cute creatures.


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Murometz's comment on 2013-05-16 08:44 PM
I will quote OmegaDraco "I enjoy thinking of a herd of ankle-sized oxen".

Love the quirky detail! I think the comments here are great too. The sub continues on in them! Go to Comment
Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
valadaar's comment on 2013-12-12 11:01 AM
Wonderful magic creatures - a nice gentle addition to one's world. It can be used in a lot of places!


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-09 07:04 PM


Quality submission. Cute, quirky and interesting. Little "Magic Sniffers" - I like it.


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Tauric's comment on 2011-08-31 09:03 AM


Okay, I like how these are, at first glance, simply cute little mini-oxen, but then they have this whole sophisticated ecology underneath.



I immediately had the thought that maybe they are otherplanar creatures that only manifest as mini-oxen on our plane, but if we travel to their home they would be these grand majestic creatures.



What if someone caught on to their true foodsource, and sussed out the location of these magic streams, and tapped into them as a power source? Would a bobeerin make a good familiar, since magic users can possibly have some sort of ambient magic surrounding them, seeping into nearby vegetation. Would bobeerin parts make for power-boosting magic components? These are all hypothicals, of course, since no one in their right mind would ever think of using these critters in such a way.



I would imagine, if you get a herd big enough, these fellows could be quite a nuisance, always getting under foot, clogging the roadways and such.


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-09-01 03:57 AM


Ohemgee these are so adorable. I am tickled pink by Tauric's idea of them existing in more than one plane, and being large majestic bovine in one and tiny little nusiances in another. You obviously put a lot of thought into these sweet creatures and have a very clear idea of their abilities. Unfortunately aside from flavor I don't see them being involved in anything quest-related or grand. That's okay though, they fulfill their role very well. 


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
OmegaDraco's comment on 2011-08-31 08:38 AM


Fun thought. I enjoy thinking of a herd of ankle-sized oxen. The picture provided makes it a little difficult to picture the oxen as blue though. I thought it was very clever to work out why the Bobeerin always die in captivity. Nicely done there. The first paragraph is very artistic with good flair, but it really doesn't flow right with the rest of the submission; it easy to read, but it lacks the flair. In general, I really like it. It could be very fun flavor text for any tundra campaign.


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Tundra's comment on 2011-08-31 08:47 AM


I edited it a bit upon recommendation!! :)


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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Tundra's comment on 2011-08-31 09:25 AM


Bobeerin would most likely be quite good in tracking out these locations, and they would make handy pocket-sized familiars. Or I could even see them being led around on snazzy harnesses, with a bell. Such an creature is certaintly capable and intelligent enough to recognize his master (should it be in a world where magic and mages are commonplace and it was indeed tamed! - the one in particular magic is more rare, at least to the average denizen of the world). The Bobeerin's little horns may be used as 'magic detectors' and may vibrate faintly when made into necklaces and glow a faint blue.

The horns not only detect magic, but regulate the flow of it through the creatures body, always imbued with at the very least, a trace of it, even long after the rest of the bones had turned to dust. It remains capable of absorbing magic until its been burned by fire. A light coating of perpetual ash then gathers over the horns. This is part of the reason why Bobeerin, while capable of spouting out miniature fireballs, do not do so often, as they may risk singing their own horns, which would lead to their own potential demise.

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Bobeerin
Lifeforms  (Unique)   (Tundra/ Arctic)
Tundra's comment on 2011-09-01 08:15 AM
Origin: Bobeerin are indeed planar creatures. They were driven from their plane (a vast, vertile green space, with all manner of giant plants, ripe with magic), there their lush little furry bodies would spend many a day in lazy drift through stream beds, the hair acting as a suspensory raft to keep them afloat, heading from one shore to another in vast herds. Their natural predator there, a wild-dog one could call it, had become severely overpopulated, resulting in the Bobeerin fleeing to another plane, unable to return home.

In current conditions, they have no natural enemies. However, it has taken them a long time to adapt to the climates and circumstances of the cold wasteland they find themselves in now, and many a Bobeerin had died from the original herd that had crossed over. Crossing over in itself is a dangerous task.

Bobeerin numbers would most likely be very few, and wouldn't present a particular point of interest to those who live in the tundra. (though this could be easily modified - they could be hunted for their little horns, or to be caged as exotic pets with fleeting lifespans, due to the exact food source not being known)

Bobeerin are capable of reason, and intelligence. They have genetic memory that is passed down to newborn Bobeerin - hence the little ones knowing that they cannot return home, and since they cannot control which plane they land on when travelling, they might end up in a magma infested one. Travelling in such a fashion tends to zap the magic from their bodies, and in order to build up enough to do so again may not be accumulated in the Bobeerins lifespan. Bobeerin are capable of rational thought - if properly tamed and raised, they may even understand speech. Go to Comment
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