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Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2004-04-03 07:47 PM
I do like the improvments to the clarity, but like Capt said, what does it do? How does the elemental earth, pure or tainted, affect the creatures it is used against, or the wielder?

You don't "so completely suck" at writing. We just need a little more to understand what you're trying to get across.

Although breaking your post into a couple of paragraphs would help.

4/5 Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-03-30 05:06 PM
And...?
You've been too vague about the sword's abilities. How does it draw on the user's hidden strengths or abilities? I also don't understand the whole "heart-reading" thing. A sword is a sword. You use it for good, or you use it for evil, and neither requires a reading of the heart. Or have I missed something?

2/5. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-04-02 06:24 PM
I still don't understand. You didn't explain the power, you just explained why it has the power. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-04-03 04:52 PM
So...What I'm getting here is that it doesn't have any magical "effects", per se, but it is made from elemental earth, so it is magical?
Allrighty. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2004-03-30 05:25 PM
This item lifts above the most basic of things I have seen in here, but just barely. Perhaps giving a little more in-depth information on the swords magical properties would help. Also, perhaps a little bit of the background of the sword, too. How it was crafted, how it fell into Windsongs hands etc...

Good luck for future posts, however, by looks of this item, you have the ability to create some interesting posts, you just need to think over them a bit. {Something which I rarely do :-( }

2/5 Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
TsarDragon's comment on 2004-04-02 05:32 PM
Here I hope this improved the description, and I hope you now have a better picture of how the blade's power works. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
TsarDragon's comment on 2004-04-03 04:18 PM
I don't know how else to explain it! It's elemental power. It comes from the pure elements of the world she exists in. Since it's part of a pure element it holds the elements power. Like I said it holds the elemental power of pure earth because it is pure earth! It's in the third sentence under magical properties.*takes a deep breath* *more calmly* That's what I was trying to get across during the whole thing. I'll fix it again. *sigh* I thought I explained it more clearly that time, but oh well. Sorry that I suck so copletely at writing. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
TsarDragon's comment on 2004-04-03 04:23 PM
There I fixed it once more. I'm not sure if it has helped though because I wasn't sure what to do with it. If you still don't understand please tell me "exactly" why you don't understand where it gets its power from and where I lose you and I will try to fix it again. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
TsarDragon's comment on 2004-04-04 01:23 PM
Sorry. I had explained how it effected the wielder's abilities, but somehow I deleted it one of the times I edited. It doesn't have any speciel effect of the attacked. It has the same effect that a normal sword should. It kills or wounds them. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2014-03-20 10:55 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-21 04:03 AM
It is fine. I like the ideas behind the blade. Go to Comment
Dragon's Blade
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-20 01:16 PM
I like how it is made from some magic elemental stone, but as mentioned, some real details on how it benefits the wielder would be go. It has great presentation value, but what justifies the effort in creating it? Perhaps it works exceptionally well against earth-aspected opponents? As a focus for earth magic used by the wielder?

Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-03-30 05:09 PM
Hmmm...
I don't have any sort of sense of personality from this. What is she like? What are her likes and dislikes? This is more about her family than about her.

3/5. Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-03-30 05:13 PM
Oh, yeah and...
The name is very stereotypical, and the word is spelled "morph". Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2004-04-02 08:57 AM
You should post the websites you know in here, Tsar: http://www.strolen.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=424&start=120

I suggest, also, that you try to be in depth, and make your friends deal with it ^_~ A thorough submission is better than a shallow one where people have to fill in the void with questions to the author. Keep the ideas coming!! Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Obsidian Shadow's comment on 2004-04-01 12:41 AM
Your background needs to be a liiittle bit more in-depth and easier to fallow. I agree with the Cap'n, I really can't get a sense of windsong's character, not with all the interference from "Trueheart" and "One Who Knew" and whatnot. The basic idea with the hybrids and were's is great, it's the details that need developing. On a more positive note, that link you gave about were's is freakin' awesome! ( www.goldenwolfen.com )
Gave me some great ideas. Keep 'em comin' man,keep 'em comin'! Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
TsarDragon's comment on 2004-04-01 05:54 PM
I've tried know to give a better feel of her personality and I've corrected the word morph. Thankyou for pointing it out. I hate misspelled words in my posts. I'm sorry you dislike her name, but once I give a give a character a name I don't change it. Sorry Obsidian, I didn't notice that! I've tried to get it based on her again, but to me the family is part of the character. A character's family are what shaped and molded the character through life, so I wanted to incorperate them into her history. Details Details Details! Yes they are important. I'll try my best to start doing that. I used to pretty good at it, but my friends used to complain that I went to in depth, so I tried not to. The only problem is I can't get in between. I'm either too in depth or I'm not enough. Plus I get ideas in my head,but it's hard to completely explain them. I'm glad you liked the site! I'll send you the names of a few more sites I know! Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
axlerowes's comment on 2014-03-21 05:38 AM
has a classic RPG feel to it. simple in scope and execution, an easy to grab mystic Go to Comment
WindSong
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-14 07:47 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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