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Oin Bloodblade
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-07-18 05:13 PM
First of all, you might want to keep an eye on your spelling and punctuation. Don't just use spell check, because it isn't foolproof.
Second, the backstory just seems flat to me. I don't like it. The character seems pretty boring, just a benevolent goblin.
Third, what do those spells do? I've never heard of them.

2/5. Go to Comment
Oin Bloodblade
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Trakien's comment on 2004-07-17 07:17 PM
Yea your right...never even considered that...he does seem more druid like powers...hmm Go to Comment
Oin Bloodblade
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
Shadow1973's comment on 2004-07-17 07:09 PM
This is good back ground, maybe have him wander the local woods for a while, but its the spells that are not quite right. The minor pick lock can be a cantrip or something of that nature, easy enough for a low lvl critter. The globe of protection and the healing are another story. I have neverheard for a mage class casting heal. Now if he was out on his own long enough I would consider him as a mid lvl ranger with some druid like spells. Have him be like a local guide for adventures traveling through his part of the woods. Go to Comment
Oin Bloodblade
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
vegeta63210's comment on 2004-07-18 09:29 AM
He does sound pretty good... Go to Comment
Oin Bloodblade
NPCs  (Extras)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-28 01:09 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2008-05-06 09:54 PM
Like Roack, I am also infatuated with the name Candlegouger.

-Muro Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
ephemeralstability's comment on 2004-06-24 09:33 AM
Sorry, Ylorea but I disagree. This item lacks any sort of originality. It's a black sword forged by a kobold which makes you go invisible. Why not submit an axe which was made by a goblin and which makes you resistant to fire? It lacks depth. What it needs is more character.

For instance, why is there a shadow fiend's head on the hilt? Was the kobold possessed by a shadow fiend when he was forging the sword and it's the fiend's power with which the blade is imbued? If so, who is the shadow fiend and why did he want to do this?

This item has potential, but needs development. I'm reserving my vote until then...

ephe! Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
ephemeralstability's comment on 2004-06-27 04:33 AM
That is certainly an improvement :) Now we know who the kobold was, why he has created the item and the significance of the design has been made clear. I'd still say the story was a little uninventive, but that's more of an aesthetic judgement.

ephe! Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2004-06-13 12:46 PM
There were no votes a second ago, then I voted 2/5, and now it has a rating of 2.67...

Please let other people decide how to rate your submissions. Then, pat yourself on the back for thier praise, not your own ego stroking.

Moving on...

You mention that the kobold forging the scimitar is unusual, and I agree, but why did he do it? You need to fill that out. The friend who still wields it, is a drow or hates drow, I can't tell from your description. I doubt many people here know what a shadow fiend is, I know I don't. This must be a powerful kobold to forge swords and imbue them with magic. Why did he do all this anyway?

The sword is a upside, but the powers aren't really overpowerful, as long as they have limits. How long can you stay invisible? If it's unlimited, it is unbalanced. Infrared is kind of a munchkin/ rules lawyer kind of thing, but not that important.

I do commend you for not useing any system specific stats, good job there. As the sword is, I can use it in any game.

2/5 Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2004-06-15 04:55 AM
Think of this as a starting off point. Now that you see what we like and don't like, use that advice in your next post, and maybe come back here sometime and work this up again.

And kick your friend in the shin. Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Agar's comment on 2004-06-27 05:17 PM
This is both a big step forward and backward.

You have fleshed out more of the motives behind the creation of the weapon and taken away details that didn't help and confused the nature of the item. Good work, but I assume you have some personal reason for using a kobold, a race not thought highly of in the art of magic or weapons smithy, to be the creator of this weapon.

In all the changes you've made, you've made a great deal of simple spelling errors. Fix those and you'll get a better rating.

Currently - 3/5 Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-06-13 02:11 PM
Boring backstory. Wow. Some thing made a scimitar.
How did this apparently average kobold make such a weapon? What does this have to do with the drow?
The powers are so-so. I can adjust them in ways so that they are good or bad. My players would probably find huge loopholes, though, and that's bad. You don't want loopholes.
I agree with Agar on all points, so it must be a...

2/5. Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-06-13 02:11 PM
Oh, by the way, good job pulling the name of it out of an R.A. Salvatore book. Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-06-27 04:30 PM
Better than before... Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Ylorea's comment on 2004-06-23 01:53 AM
How could others use it? well steal it from the friend of the kobold.
(Or bargain for it if they are the more scurpulous kind.)

Is there realy loopholes? well that depends on how you look at it... I think there are no loopholes, because what ever you do, this item is system independent and as such I need to translate it to for instance D&D. If there are loopholes after the translation, then they are my fault. All in all I can imagine that some people would like to know why the kobold made the sword.
I'd normaly give this item a 3/5 because I am in doubt, but since so many people have been quite unfriendely about it, I will even go for 4/5.

But other then that, this sword is like the whispering dead and it deserves a much higher rating. Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Obsidian Shadow's comment on 2004-06-21 06:40 PM
how could other characters use it if the kobold's friend has it? Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2004-06-13 03:39 PM
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2004-06-26 06:01 AM
*sigh* the item is bleak, without purpose, and lacks ... glamour. 'Tis as an explanation of my former *sigh* Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Trakien's comment on 2004-06-13 08:09 PM
About the vote thing...that was an accident I didn't even know I did it...and the name came from a friend I didn't know. Sorry I'm still clueless about some things. Go to Comment
Candlegouger
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Magical)
Trakien's comment on 2004-06-26 08:49 PM
Hows that? Perhaps, alittle better? i changed the name and added alittle more depth. Go to Comment
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